isay reblogged
isay reblogged
You ever think about how terrifying rabies really is?
Like if you don't know that you have it that by the time you start exhibiting symptoms its too late. You're dead?
Growing up in Britain in the 70s I remember my mother using the fear of rabies as being one of the reasons she didn’t want to go abroad on holiday. People were paranoid that once the Channel Tunnel was completed that packs of rabid dogs would make their way through and rabies would become endemic in England.
🤦♂️
From the audience vote…
UK zero points! LOL.
Israel get over 300 points from the public. Hmmmm
Ukraine 307 points.
It’s down to France, Croatia and Switzerland…
France are out…
Croatia or Switzerland then…
And….
(Dramatic pause)
It’s…Switzerland! Non-binary Justin Timberlake takes it.
37 countries get to vote for the winner of Eurovision, two rounds of voting, the panel vote where each country awards its points, this is where the usual regional biases come out with the Balkan countries all voting for each other.
Halfway through the voting and Switzerland are establishing a commanding lead, do the Netherlands get to vote though seeing as their representative got kicked through the door marked ‘do one’?
I guess we’ll find out…they do, 12 points delivered by the Eurovision honcho who counts the votes Martin, who gets a chorus of boos from the audience for the second time of the evening.
I’m kind of disappointed that semi naked Windows95Man and your mum’s hairdresser are languishing at the tail end of the pack.
37 countries have voted an Switzerland have a massive lead.
Time for the public vote…
Almost there.
Slovenia, represented by Raven. Not from Ru Paul’s Drag Race. Camp, dramatic and see through body suit, very much drag Queen vibes.
Croatia, another of the strong favourites. It’s the Croatian metal version of My Lovely Horse, with added lace. The crowd go wild!
Nutsa from Georgia, serving Arianna’s big sister looks and giving it the big Eastern Europe drama and ethno Bond opening credits feels with the staging.
Et maintenant, l’ultimate la belle France. Slimane, wearing another of tonight’s all white outfits and surrounded by dry ice, he’s very intense but…Gallic shrug. Meh.
And finally Austria, Kaleen. Her hips don’t lie, even if the song is basically Rhythm is a Dancer remixed.
isay reblogged
When your satellite TV is not working and you need to readjust the thing
You thought I was kidding about Switzerland didn’t you?
Portugal have the unenviable task of following Finland.
Then Armenia, bringing the party vibe complete with a bit of folk instruments and cute singer. That could be a contender, but Finland went so hard it might not get in the mix.
Cypress, represented by a 17 year old girl from Sydney, who gives a shoutout to Australia and sings a chorus which sounded quite like ‘fuck you, fuck you’. But probably wasn’t.
Now the big favourite, Switzerland. Imagine a young Justin Timberlake wearing Britney Spears gym skirt and Seinfeld’s pirate shirt, spinning on a hydraulic plate singing about mental health to a jungle soundtrack…it’s every bit as good as it sounds. I think la Suisse are going to walk it.
6.50am and it’s just beginning to get light.
Hurdygurdy is popular this year, Norway bringing the metal Bjork folk tale vibe.
Next up, Italia represented by Angelina Mango with a song against boredom and a sparkly catsuit. Yeah? Nah. Another faux Arianna Grande.
Serbia start off singing on a rock, our second big pebble of the night. It’s one of those slow moody things sung in Serbian with bunch of thumps drums and a bit of piano and strings. Nope.
Now, Finland represented by Windows95Man. Looks like Valteri Bottas is obscenely short denim cutoffs, although it takes about 2 mins of the song for him to put them on. FUCKIN AWESOME! This is Eurovision!!
You know those Eurovision efforts where they throw everything at it musically and get an Arianna Grande to sing it? That’s Greece that is.
Next up Ollie Alexander from the Uk, bringing a chemsex vibe and staging his song in a public toilet. His song is called ‘Dizzy’, I’m sure there’s a poppers joke in there somewhere.
Halfway through.
Bejaysus! It’s O’Ireland represented by non-binary Bambi Thugg, bringing the Malificent/Billie Eilish(Oirish) vibe and it’s…not exactly My Lovely Horse but it’s a big performance that Sister Mary would probably have some feelings about.
Latvia represented by a man standing in a big circle, but everyone is still thinking what the feck did we just see with O’Ireland?!
Spain have sent your mum’s hairdresser and she’s knocking it out the park! That’s a banger and it has the added bonus of her husband on keytar!
Estonia try the energetic shouty rap thing with a bit of indigenous hurdy gurdy instrumentation.
I’d sooner be in Mardrid for next years show tbh.
Germany sent their version of Rag n Bone man, next up Luxembourg singing mainly in French, which is always a bonus.
They aren’t followed by the Netherregions because there’s been a bit of aftershocks backstage resulting in them being thrown out, so next up Israel, which if it wasn’t for the controversy I think would have been a strong contender.
Now back to our regular programming with Lithuania with a fairly bog standard doofdoof thing. Meh.
The dogs are very confused by us being up at this ungodly hour.
Right then, it’s 5am which can only mean…Eurovision!
And this year, controversy notwithstanding, this looks gayer than ever.
Sweden kick things off, once they escape from being trapped in a shipping container full of fluorescent tubes, the followed by Ukraine bringing some end of the world vibes whilst standing on the edge of a cliff.
I’m very much looking forward to the interval show on Eurovision tonight…
isay reblogged
Horse
Twice in a week?! Well it is Eurovision…