What kind of paladin do you play (Musicals Version)?

Which song speaks to the heart of what drives your paladin? 1. To Dream The Impossible Dream. From Man of La Mancha.

2. C'est Moi. Camelot.

3. Stars. Les Miserable.

Because I am a huge DnD and musicals nerd and for too long have questions like these boiled in my mind. And because it is me...I will make an item for the winner. Or the top two if it gets 100 interactions. Or all three if it gets 500. And a subclass for the winner if it gets over 1000.

look friends, I made a thing...because musicals and dnd should be mixed more often! Lend me your ears...and votes!

In celebration of Carla being this tournament's 1,000th post, please enjoy that one time she pied a transphobe.

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Amazing to learn these historical origins for the name (at least) of one of Pathfinder's official gods, the Mother of Monsters! I wonder if any others were drawn from the same pantheons or they just liked that name?

genuine self confidence literally only comes with not caring at all if you’re ugly... like if it’s based around finding yourself beautiful it’s planted on fragile ground

like it feels Good to look in the mirror and say Wow i feel pretty, it’s a nice moment and i’m not condemning it, but it’s a tenuous position. if you position yourself to feel good about being pretty, you’re still vulnerable to Ugly, and pretty is not a sustainable state. no matter how far you extend the concept of beauty, it’s still based in rules established by societal standards that realistically one cannot be perfectly held up to.

All things are beautiful Mother All trees, all towers Beautiful That tower- Beautiful, Mother See? A perfect tree Pretty isn't beautiful, Mother Pretty is what changes What the eye arranges Is what is beautiful https://youtu.be/Mp1lOSkjDbg?t=60

#2, Brute?

I made the ugliest noise.

It’s not even March. It’s literally more than 6 months till the ides of March. Why.

TODAY

10 tons of 2 million ancient coins from Han Dynasty 2,200 years ago unearthed in China [950x632]

Item: ten tons of ancient coins

Anyone who has ever played dnd knows how those got hoarded. And some dragon is going to be wanting those back when they wake up...

Spells

Hello. So one of my biggest complaints of the D&D 5e Player’s Handbook is that searching for spells is a bit of a pain. Even if you manage to obtain a pdf file of it, many of the spells’ titles are written l i k e th i s, making it quite difficult to search with the classic ctr-F. 

Because of this, I created a pdf of all of the spells that are in the book, complete with a table of contents linked to them, so you can search the table of contents for your spell, and then zip to the spell you need. Very useful, if I’m allowed to say.

Behold. It is on dropbox, though you can view it (without the magical zipping) without a dropbox account.

Happy D&D playing!

shit!

Hi so I’ve taken your document and taken your work a step further by putting every one of those spells into an Excel spreadsheet where each spell has separate columns for each aspect of it (level, school, casting time etc), including what classes have access to which spells!

This means that in addition to using ctr-F to search, a person can sort or filter by any number of criteria they’re looking for. For example, if someone is using the Arcane Trickster archetype for a rogue, they only have access to the Wizard spell list, and even then they can only (with a few exceptions) pick from the illusions and enchantments, so its useful to be able to sort by multiple criteria at once.

Here it is! You can only view, not sort, in the online view, and the way i’ve formatted it, the spell descriptions and a few other pieces of information get cut off by the edge of their cells so you’re gonna want to download this one to use it.

hot take: ‘chivalry’ is fine as long as it’s adapted to 21st century values. if you are a male, you SHOULD be aware that your female friends face certain issues that you as a male dont. acting on that awareness in a way that keeps your female friends safe, isn’t a bad thing.

like… opening doors isn’t rly chivalrous when it’s just a thing you ought to do for everyone. but real 21st century chivalry might be, like, standing between your female friend and the guy that’s trying to get her drunk, or offering to walk her home when it’s late.

if the ‘chivalry’ inconveniences everyone involved and you’re just doing it for your over-inflated male ego — ie, “no you’re the girl here, you HAVE to let me hold this door for you and do all these things for you even when you can do it yourself and im just slowing you down” — then it’s just outdated misogyny.

Chivalry was literally designed to make nobles aware of their power and influence so they don’t unintentionally harm people when trying to do their job of leading and protecting people. Modern chivalry should carry on that sentiment of men and white people becoming aware of their own power of privilege and influence to help and protect the lives of their peers.

*Not to inflate their egos, but because it’s the good thing to do and makes the world a better place to be.

Chivalry, at its core, involves being helpful to people who don’t have your advantages. 

It involved generosity and protecting those weaker than oneself: including opening doors when doors were made of badly fit heavy wood and often got stuck,and women, especially undernourished exhausted-from-childcare women, had a harder time opening them. It involved not lying, and following through on your promises. (A guy who is consistently late with the accounting reports, which delays the whole team, is not dedicated to chivalry, no matter how polite he is on a date.) 

Chivalry is a code of ethics that involves dedicating one’s strength and skills in service to others; it’s not based on gender roles. 

Chivalry is a code of ethics that involves dedicating one’s strength and skills in service to others; it’s not based on gender roles.

If you would like to know more about chivalry as it should be, I encourage you to read the Protector of the Small books by Tamora Pierce. History be hanged, she GETS what draws us to the concept of chivalry, and gives it the grandest voice you will have ever heard. That of a ten year old girl. 

THE LORD OF THE RINGS (1978)

I loved this movie as a kid. for obvious reasons. But I continue to love it to this day despite (and in addition to) the modern remake..the aesthetics in this one are just...like nothing else I know out there...I strongly recommend everyone watch it!

More great advice from Pink Dice GM. I definitely suggest following them.

And, if you have the time, consider having a solo session with that player where their PC is in the afterlife and they’re allowed to go back if they want to, but have to complete a quest first. This, of course, has the option of them failing that quest and being stuck there, which is doubly embarrassing for them. But usually you can fudge a few dice rolls and be fine

Okay that’s fucking cool, hell yes

I kinda want to make up rules for these now, for each of the damage types…if that sounds interesting to folks? I was thinking of having the permanent injury depend on two factors, one, the type of damage that took them down, and two, the number of failed saving throws (3 being the max). I would love to hear feedback from GMs on the idea!

A d8 could also be used to determine the location of the injury, if that is relevant. (GMs could just pick and choose or go with the flow of description instead). 1 being the head, 2-3 the legs, 4-5 arms, 6-8 torso.

Now onto another staple of the genre...Piercing!

One failed saving throw: Deep Gouge. A small scar doesn’t do justice to the depth of damage from that blow that almost cost you everything.     - Legs: Stiff getting up, when standing from prone, reduce speed by 10ft.     - Arms: Chronic weakness, reduce carrying capacity by 15lbs     - Torso: Stitch in your chest, Disadvantage on saves against fatigue.     - Head: Mental gap, you forget a basic task, name or memory, GM discretion. Two failed saving throws: Critical Injury. The deep wound hit an organ, joint or vital tendon, a constant invisible reminder of the encounter that slowed you down.     - Legs: Bad leg, -2 penalty on acrobatics or athletics checks.     - Arms: Busted elbow -1 damage on attack rolls with this arm.     - Torso: Never fully healed, Lose one HP per level.     - Head: same as with 1, but character also loose a single proficiency.

Three failed saving throws: Still In there (weapon fragment, bone chip wtv) The magic healed the wound around it, the surgeon said it had to stay...you carry with you physical evidence of your own mortality...and it hurts.      - Legs: Arrow in the knee, 10 feet less move speed.      - Arms; Limp and Useless, cannot use the arm.      - Torso: Inches from the heart, half HP from all healing, as your body fights constantly for survival.      - Head: characters lose access to a key ability or spell, GM discretion. Bonus: whatever is stuck still in there could also give a minor bonus, iron might give a bonus saving against fey, a magic weapon fragment a sliver of its power, etc etc.

“you don’t hate mondays, you hate capitalism”

DM Advice

Unless you’re planning on publishing it: just totally steal ideas for your D&D adventures. D&D adventures don’t have to be original ideas they just have to be fun to play. Especially if you’re fairly sure your players won’t recognize it, or won’t care if they do. I have just blatantly ripped scenes out of books for example (my players got to sit through an encounter that was literally just a scene from Guy Gavriel Kay’s Sailing to Sarantium). Your job is to make a cool world and a fun adventure, and you’re not in danger of breaking copyright laws or anything.

reblogging this cause a) its so true. advice every DM should take to heart b) Guy Gavriel Kay reference??!! and that is an author close to my heart

Text Post Meme ~ The Quest [1/?]

gods i MISS this show SO MUCH

tonight’s hot take from the shower:

George Cooper is described as morally “crooked”

crooked is the opposite of straight

you know what else is the opposite of straight? gay

George Cooper is bi it’s canon

I mean, he was totally falling for Alan before he had any clue about Alanna so...I don’t even think you need that clue although...it is a good one! petition for crooked to be a new secret code for bi and/or pan?

Feeble Wedding Giveaway!

Greetings Dungeoneers!

As some of you know, I recently did a marriage!

And I have some wedding favours left over. Namely a bunch of D20s!

So I’m running a giveaway to let 30 of you lucky lucky people share in the good good wedding vibes.

I’ll be re-blogging this post and adding it to my queue over the next few days so that people can see it. I’ll tag it all with #feeble wedding giveaway so if you want to blacklist it you can avoid your dash being spammed! 

The Prizes

There are 30 pearlescent white D20s with gold numbering up for grabs and people can win 1 each. I will be paying all shipping for the 30 D20s so I have divided the competition into 3 categories:

So that I don’t go completely broke shipping them out :D 

The Rules

Timing

I will give everyone 2 weeks to get their entries in so the deadline for re-blogging this post is 6pm GMT on Friday the 21st September 2018.

I will run an announcement post at 6pm GMT on Monday the 24th September and contact the winners via messenger.

If you are a winner, you will have until 6pm GMT Friday 28th September to provide me a shipping address or I will draw more winners and contact them immediately. Winners following this will be assigned on a 1st reply 1st served basis.

I will then start shipping out the D20s so you should get them over the next few weeks after that, depending on where you live!

HAPPY GIVEAWAY EVERYONE!

everyone in fantasy novels is horny on main for elves and it’s honestly a travesty like why the hell would you want to marry an elf you’ll just spend the rest of your days growing old in the woods with a bunch of immortal bastards whose heads are so far up their asses they think singing week-long ballads is prime entertainment and say shit like “thou” and “beseech” unironically y'all should be hooking up with dwarves who 1. actually know how to throw the fuck down and let loose at a party 2. will literally shower you in diamond dust and gold they mined and crafted with their bare hands and 3. can sling you over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes with their huge muscular arms developed from hours of said mining and crafting. there’s literally no contest.

Tempests and Slaughter, Tamora Pierce (via emilyofmindelan)

I don't know if this has been noted yet, BUT this cannot be Beka’s kid (unless rosto and her had married which would be very strange) as it says the Younger, what this means is not only did she name her kid (or one of them) Rosto, but that this child then named THEIR child Rosto...presumably after the great uncle Rosto of storied fame! hmm, and yet we know the cooper family was somewhat upstanding for most of its future until George came around. this makes me think Rosto must have gotten out of the rogue business fast to become a roll model Beka would be proud of. or on a more depressing note, died young enough that Beka would name a kid of hers after him...One of these theories I like, the other...not so much.