getting over something that even never happened is one of the hardest things

It's like I ran my hand under boiling hot water For the first few seconds I felt nothing at all it was so hot it felt cold, this was our relationship Then I felt it burn and I move my hand away as quickly as possible, that's when you left I ran my hand under cold water for some time but every time I took it away from the icy coldness it burned again, this is when I missed you But then after i ran it under cold water for long enough, it no longer hurt to turn off the tap and carry on as normal, but for a while you feel a buzzing sensation a sortof fuzzy feeling where your hand was burned but it doesn't hurt anymore, this is me now

note to self

u need to get up and stop dreaming and wake up and do something productive. for fucks sake stop listening to calum and stop making up these ridiculous supercuts and wishing for things that are not going to happen. it’s not going to happen. it’s really really not. you say this to everybody and you’re saying it right now but i know you dont believe it or atleast don’t want to believe it. BUT ITS THE GODDAM TRUTH OK its not right its not productive its not healthy you’re a mess