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what's your perfect crime?

I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault?

No, I go for the chandelier. It’s priceless. 

As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business.

She’s Tiffany.

I say no. We make love all night. 

In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. 

I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her. 

Besides, I like the cold. 

Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he’s the chief of police.

This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. 

She’s been waiting for me all these years; she’s never taken another lover. 

I don’t care, I don’t show up. 

I go to Berlin. 

That’s where I stashed the chandelier.

It isn't fair that I still miss her.

i miss michelle obama too. it’ll be okay.