organs, outside, lovingly described

me every 2 seconds: wow i hope someone has liked my extremely hilarious and funny niche post that was meant for an audience of 5 people maximum. i better go check

This isn't a funny tweet it's a threat

He Beckons

(and he won, too. wouldn't stop until I came over there to pet his belly)

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

If I were tumblr famous this would be a smash hit

Considering mammals will use keratin for pretty much everything I'm surprised we don't have keratin teeth yet.

Reptiles: "I improve my grip by having these bony protrusions at the ends of my digits!"

Mammals: "Hey look what I can do with keratin"

Reptiles: "I coil myself up small to minimise my surface area to volume ratio to not lose body heat when it's cold"

Mammals: "Hey look what I can do with keratin"

Reptiles: "I have these frills of skin that I can make stand up to appear threatening"

Mammals: "Hey look what I can do with keratin"

Triceratops: "Fuck this, I have a bone knife on my face"

Rhino: "Oh man you're not going to believe this"

Oh boy have I got news for you about teeth.

Motherfuckers...

Congratulations to Marcille DungeonMeshi for achieving Pathetic Little Man status on tumblr, a hard glass ceiling for many female characters to break. I look forward to calling you my sopping wet beast and poor little meow meow for fandom days to come. Keep trucking babygirl, you'll bag Falin one day

NEW VERSION. :)

happy 4/20

the problem with having a decade old tumblr blog is that there are posts on it from a decade ago

i’ve become a completely different person like 5 separate times since making those posts and there are STILL people finding them somehow

I'm gonna link to the animations in case y'all either don't remember or have never heard of some of these.

A quick note: these were made in the 2000s. Comedy is subjective, there's some strong examples of dark and/or "lolz teh random" humor in these. Maybe some cultural blindness, too. That said, enjoy a time capsule of stuff made before/during the birth of Youtube, now hosted on Youtube.

Kenya

Salad Fingers, episode 2

End of Ze World

Schfifty Five

The Hamster Dance

Badgers

"Rejected" by Don Hertzfeldt

Charlie the Unicorn

The Llama Song

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

john wick holding shadow the hedgehog like mary holding baby jesus

i still think the funniest way a celebrity has ever been "cancelled" was when we found out DJ Khaled didnt eat pussy

the gastrointestinal tract, thats the real You Tube

i think the internet might be the new tower of babel and if i read one more post like this everything’s gonna turn into hieroglyphics

strong contender for my new favorite tee k.o. shirt