I am currently dating a guy and have been for the past month or so.  I adore him to bits.  Everything that has happened can be expressed with Finding Nemo gifs.  So here you go.

I arrive to the first date to discover that he has the most beautiful ass I have ever seen.  It must have been sculpted by Michelangelo. I swear this line kept repeating over and over in my head.

(Ironically, it is his eyes I have grown to love the most)

After the successful first date:

Second date - I ask him about his sexual background, which is like comparing the Kama Sutra to my stereo instructions-like sexual background:

End of second date...I realize that we live 1.5 hours away, and the only day that works for us to see each other is Friday, in which I have to leave rather early b/c Saturdays are my long days.

We make plans to see each other soon, involving more than just socializing and dinner.  That day finally approaches:

Third date arrives - When he disrobes in front of me:

I haven't been intimate with a guy since the recession (2008, long story).  This is how it was with him:

I sleep over at his house for New Years and we take turns spooning each other post coitus.  He unintentionally farts in his sleep.  

I figure it must be his colon telling me he loves me.  I tease him mercilessly about it when he wakes up.

While snuggling with him after going out to the hot tubs in the afternoon, a foreign, yet warm feeling washes over me:

And so, after one month.  My darling Jay, Dory says it better than I ever could...

Till next we meet.

Eastwood rides bareback. I can now die happy.

Clint Eastwood was on Mr Ed.  How did I miss this?

Episode synopsis for those too lazy to look it up: Mr Ed is jealous of Eastwood (who has moved in next door and has a new filly).  Because Wilbur's phone and Eastwood's are shared (old school party line), Ed is able to cause all kinds of problems for Clint.  So Clint has a habit of invoking the resentment from other species, not just his own.  Attaboy.

Clint also mentioned that as Wilbur's new "director" (of the play he's helping Wilbur write) he specializes in happy endings.  Mr Ed had said to Wilbur that Eastwood likes riding his horse bareback.  The leg/thigh/butt power you have to have to be able to ride bareback and not fall off is substantial.  And considering the number of children Clint will eventually father in his life (seven kids with five different women), it was a very astute statement.  

By a horse.  In the 1960's.

::Ahem::

So anyway, here are a few I took of the episode. My mind doesn't live in the gutter, but it would be very lonely anywhere else.

But I think I like him more around the late Man with No Name saga and Dirty Harry era (late 60's through the 80's).  He is just a hair too baby-faced for me during this time.  I like him more when his face has been worn in a little, like a well loved western saddle, riddled with the pungent crotch sweat aroma of yesteryear.  I mean, his penis works. He should know this by now.

I digress.

I envy Clint's horse.  It will have gotten closer to his man bits than I ever will.

Just for fun I'll include a few from Paint Your Wagon (even though I am not done with it), which I have now dubbed as: "Clint sings like a high school senior and talks to trees because in the future, even chairs won't listen to him."

If I ever meet him, I will hug him so effin' hard.

^ this one has been on my desktop for the past week.

And now I'm off to sing Britney Spears's "Womanizer."  Excuse me.

MRW

I get a papercut:

I leave work early b/c I am not booked for the rest of the day, only to find out that work had called me an hour later to tell me they had a session available, but I didn't know until it was too late b/c my phone died:

And learning the session was 90 minutes of DT and one of the coworkers I don't like had to take the session instead:

Watching a Clint Eastwood movie:

I discover my processor fan has died:

Because it has been in the mid 90s during the week and 80 at night:

I remember we have a staff meeting right after work:

On a saturday night:

Decided to rent Paint your Wagon because of Clint Eastwood and the super awesome Lee Marvin.  I heard that Clint sings in it. 

Sort of.

The first song he did about Elisa was good, but "I Talk to Trees" while walking through the forest and getting hit in the face with the branches along the way?  Not so much.  Honey bunches of oats, he has the vocal range of a high school senior in drama class.  

And what is with him and blondes in a lot of his movies?  They flock to him like starving geese to a bread roll.

::Sigh:: You may be slightly tone deaf, but you're still a sexy bastard.

Got a message from a guy on OkStupid. He is a decade my junior

Happy birthday to me?

so..

In one of my classes, the instructor had to demonstrate some micro stretching for the glutes for our clinic in a week and asked the class for a volunteer.  Since no one said anything i decided I'd give it a go since i was closest to the table he would be working on.  He is an instructor as a side job and has his own practice/clients and has done massage for years.  Plus, I NEED the work.  Everything fucking hurts.  At least I know it will be done correctly and I'll feel better afterwards.

He spends 5 minutes at least stretching everything and when he was done and we left to go into partners, my left side was much looser than my right.  I tell my partner that it doesn't feel as tight and ask her to see if she feels a difference or if i am just imagining it.  Reluctantly, she pokes around and is surprised at how much of a difference there really is.  My instructor is making the rounds to all the other students and makes his way over to where my partner and I are and she mentions to him that one of my glutes is now significantly looser than the other.  Looking at me with a straight face, totally deadpan he goes, "can I feel?"

So, my instructor got to cop a feel on me.  Both sides.  At least he asked first.

I seriously shouldn't be this happy.