BIATCH

me: today is going really well and i don’t trust it some shit: *starts happening* me: ah there it is. the Fuckening™

OMFG

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*blows up balloon* *names it molly* *pops molly* turn up

nobody’s dick is big when you think of how small we are in the universe

you don’t need an education to marry rich

It makes me happy knowing that we have an entire subgroup of twitter users that prepare some freshly cut pinapple for their significant other before they visit. This is very sweet.