what will your verse be?

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes 🎲📱

the magnus protocol episode 13 “future”

i do enjoy "living weapon" characters but specifically living weapons who did in fact do absolutely horrific things which at least a part of them enjoyed and thought was good and right at the time, and that no amount of not knowing any better or guilt they feel in hindsight will ever make up for. i love living weapons who are "irredeemable", and no it's not their fault that they were made that way or pointed in the directions they were by the hand that wielded them, and yes they are victims, but so were their victims. living weapons who some people will never be able to forgive, but who still wake up every day and try to do better than what's expected of them. a sword that uses its blade to cut wheat to make bread for the people who once lived in fear of its arc falling on their heads.

90% of my day is me being nervous

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

Chat where did I go wrong

the reviews are in

i need to eat a food. none of the food in the house is The Right Food. what is the right food? only god knows. and we're not on speaking terms right now.

there is no unlived life or alternative reality where everything went right…. there is only here and now what are you going to do with it

if you aren't best friends with your lover and a little bit in love with all your friends than what's the fucking point

The answer to your problems is self-discipline

the résumé. yet another contemptuous and despicable piece of work from the french

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?

listen i'm usually above taking potshots at reborn baby dolls but the sound I made upon opening Facebook Marketplace and being met with this thing sent my cats flying across the house

Scream

"I completely changed the recipe and it turned bad. This means the recipe is bad. Two stars."

Please I'm begging you all to follow r/ididnthavetheeggs it's all just posts like this please

r/ididn'thaveeggs link for the interested:

Adding some more quality replies from the rbs so they're all in one chain

my personal favorite:

making egg tarts without eggs is....a choice. sometimes one just has to acknowledge that a banana isn't an egg, indeed.

Grandmas were so right about puzzles and knitting and crocheting and solitaire and reading slow and slippers and baking and watching deer in the backyard send post

disturbingly average customer service experience

I have been waiting all year to post this.

omg

This has been in my queue for months.

I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

YES

omg i didnt reblog this last year!

The Day is here. :)