one flesh, one end.

Alphabet Soup

I'm like if a chivalrous knight kissed a fair maiden's hand and said "my lady, I fight for you" and then walked off and immediately tripped over his own armor and fell on the ground

ngl I could do without experiencing the epic highs and lows of mental illness

You can’t just suck on one tit and not the other, it’s just plain bad manners

Ok that's the one

Where that New England Gothic post

my personal favorite

imagine being camilla hect. like. you’re traipsing across the the galaxy with a revolutionary group trying to kill God and your travel companions include

- the woman who tried to have you beat up

- the woman who officiated the match in which you were supposed to be beat up

- a picture that looks very much like your dead friend

you travel like 40,000 lightyears to find a girl, who you last saw crying over the body of said dead friend, in order to figure out if your boss is still in the skull you super-glued together from his bone fragments after he self-detonated.

you find the girl, and she has a brain hemorrhage after looking at the picture, attacks you, and also insists that you’re dead and claims to have seen your corpse. she gives you a letter and it turns out she lobotomized herself. things could be going better.

this post i made in january…. and this didn’t even begin to cover it… camilla hect sweetie im so sorry

okay wow i didn’t even get past the tip of the iceberg

imagine being camilla hect:

you are a prisoner of war, and your aforementioned travel companions are also prisoners of war… well one is at least. the other is now radicalized. and together they’re going through a twelve year long childhood frenemies to lovers plot and they argue all. the. time. and you’re forced into the World’s Worst Third Wheeling Experience.

the revolutionary group holding you captive keeps trying to take the bones of your dead boss away and you keep getting electrocuted. also fun fact: the body of your very dead friend is ~2 Hot 2 Rot~ and simply does not decompose. the revolutionary group starts a bit of a cult around it.

somewhere along the way, you somehow you manage to get your boss back to living status, but your new roommates include:

- a 10,000 year old cavalier (founder of the 2nd house) who is NOT in her own body

- an amnesiac girl named nona who is also NOT in her own body

and additionally you have to deal with: zombies. the apocalypse. an incoming war. the wrath of god. possible birthday parties.

things could be going better.

Camilla: I have survived this long because I am intelligent, rational, and level-headed. Because I am the greatest fighter my house has ever produced. Because I am unwavering under pressure and willing to make hard calls.

Also Camilla: YOU GUYS THOUGH. You have all survived because you happened to be standing next to me.

my constant state of mind

she was so real for this