FACT OF THE DAY:  the reason why you can’t dig a hole through the earth and come up on the other side is because your shovel would melt. that’s it.  that’s the only reason.

what if you bring a second shovel that you put in the fridge beforehand to make it cold

yeah that’ll work

I need volunteers

For what?

I’m going to the airport wearing an expensive black dress with a diamond necklace and glasses of champagne in both hands, waltzing through, casually reminding my chauffeur to haul my bags in for me. I need 4-5 attractive people (race+gender doesn’t matter) wearing clothes that are not better than mine, and cool sunglasses begging me not to leave, on their knees, barely grasping my dress because they want me to stay but at the same time they know the dress is worth more than anything they can ever afford. Turning around every so slightly and almost spilling, but not quite all the way there, my champagne, I’ll laugh and say quite loudly, “darlings I have to visit my ACTUAL husband!”

how do i get in on this

#indoorgardening

when ur airbags go off and u get a face full of cactus

Today, I fucked up... by ordering pizza on acid

So my two buddies and I dropped acid in my empty house. We ordered pizza for dinner since we couldn’t go anywhere. time passes by and we realize it’s probably time to get our money together. the three of us go out to the main foyer to count money. my one friend asks, “what do you got b?” and since I recently broke a hundo I had a bunch of cash in my wallet so I started fanning it out. He asks again, “what do you got b?” this time more of a chant. I start makin it rain with my money and now my two friends are chanting “what do you got b?! what do you got! what do you got b!? what do you got?!

Im now making it rain and dancing while taking my shirt off like its a dance circle. we are having such a good time, vibing, laughing, that other friends follow suit, one taking his shirt off, both emptying the contents of their wallets on the floor, all three of us chanting, “what do you got b? what do you got?!” and dancing in front of the front door totally forgetting what we were supposed to be doing when all of a sudden there is a pound on the door. WHAM WHAM WHAM.

all of the color drains from our faces and turns to unadulterated laughter. we open the door, the three of us shirtless with money and cards and shirts all over the floor, scrambling to find $25. sent that pizza guy back with a nice story.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

Hanamoto Hagumi (via quotemadness)

Robert Stone  (via wordsnquotes)

my bro’s doin great things in the marines

I was hoping it’d be this

THE ONES RUNNING BUY IN A HERD BEHIND HIM

i’m such a “look at the sky” “look at the sunset” “look at the moon” stay in the car to listen to the rest of the song typa person

My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice, then destroy them.

Destroy them

This professor gets extra credit.

GIVE ME STATS WITH THIS PROFESSOR

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.

Fucking witchcraft, man. 

fucking look at this shit though

Literally see this post flying around with a few different responses added to the bottom each time so I’ll say it for this one myself:

THEY ACTUALLY BUILT A GIANT MASSIVELY DETAILED FUCKING ANIMATRONIC T-REX FOR ALL OF THIS THAT’S WHY THE EFFECTS ARE SO GOOD. CAUSE IT AIN’T CGI. AND IT AIN’T GUY IN A COSTUME. IT’S A BIG FUCKING ROBOT DINOSAUR. AND EVERY PART IS DESIGNED TO MOVE. IT COST LIKE HALF THE BUDGET OF THE FILM.

amazing

And they had the film it in small increments, especially in the outdoor scenes, because the rain fall kept soaking into the ‘skin’ of the rex and would slow down and mess up its movements. So they would stop filming and have a crew out there drying off this massive, fake dinosaur, and then they’d start filming again until it was too wet. Repeat until the end of the scene.

They used animatronics and detailed costumes for most if not all of the dinosaurs in the first movie.

The triceratops for instance, was also animatronic.

And the raptors were dudes in suits. I shit you not.

One of my favorite anecdotes I’ve read on tumblr is how the t-rex robot from Jurassic park would malfunction while it was drying out. How did it malfunction, you might wonder?

Motherfucker randomly started moving.

So apparently if you were on the jp set you would sometimes hear people screaming bloody murder even though they were all well aware that it was a giant animatronic puppet and wouldn’t actually, you know, eat them.

(link to said post about malfunctioning t-rex)

Did not know this, had to reblog for awesome movie history insights.

So, I knew about the animatronics bit but I did not know the raptors were guys in suits and the malfunctioning t-rex sounds terrifying.

And i just googled malfunctioning t-rex and was not disappointed. Apparently in order to put the skin on over the steel frame a guy had to crawl inside the t-rex while it was turned on and glue the skin down. And if somebody turned the t-rex off or the power went out the guy in the t-rex stood a very real chance of getting mangled and killed by the hydraulics.

So of course, the power goes out.

And this guy is still in there gluing the skin down.

Apparently the way to survive getting sheered to death by huge sheets of metal while you’re inside a giant t-rex robot is to curl into a ball and hope for the best.

And this guy hoped for the best and got it.

Some other people on stage pried open the t-rex jaws and glue guy crawled out of its mouth and was totally okay.

This is getting better and better.

I think they only had like 6 minutes of CGI

I’m just waiting for the T-Rex to come to life and leave its stand.

@spinosaurus-the-fisher is this the kind of content you love?

Realism comes at a cost, it seems.

i mean ok but why has nobody posted this:

It’s a three piece raptor suit.

Old movies had the best special effects

Long story short, you have about 30 minutes to watch this video before we have to bury it deep in the Earth’s core for humanity’s well-being.