why is it like 75 in December I told yall niggas to recycle

- Pope Francis, Laudato Si

what you said was very sweet and means a lot to me but i am incapable of properly responding in any way besides “thank you so much aaaah” because i do not know how to accurately express the exact level of my gratitude to where you completely understand how much what you said meant to me without me getting even more emotional and looking like a fucking nerd: an autobiography

(photo by MaggleCole)

………how?

… You melted the top METAL covering of your stove. The heat was so intense at one point it catapulted the lid to that poor pot into the Sheetrock of your fucking kitchen are you kidding me?????

But how do you fuck up that badly

I just started laughing and like crying and even WITH the Sheetrock comment I still didn’t catch that the lid was IN THE FUCKING CEILING until The Beardy Ginger pointed it out.

when grandma starts acting racist

tweet of the year

Best part of 2015 is I didn’t see one nash grier vine

Someone hold my hand and do that little thumb rubby thingy.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy: A Trilogy of Four is without a doubt the most inspirational book I have ever read in my entire life.

HEY! YOU! STOP SCROLLING FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND AND LEMME TELL Y’ALL ABOUT THE MIRACLE THAT IS KNOWN AS AFRICAN BLACK SOAP.

YOU SEE, ONCE UPON A TIME, I HAD THE WORST ACNE IN THE FUCKIN WORLD. LIKE, IT WAS LITERALLY PAINFUL. I SHIT YOU NOT,I WAS LITERALLY MORE ACNE THAN ACTUAL FACE. I HAD BOUGHT ALL THE FUCKIN 80$+ ACNE KITS, YOU KNOW THE ONES. YOU SEE EM’ ADVERTISED IN INFOMERCIALS ALL THE GODDAMN TIME BY FOLKS WHO HAVE NEVER HAD ACNE A DAY IN THEIR GODDAMN LIFE. WELL, NONE OF THEM WERE HELPING. AT ALL.

I WAS JUST BEGINNING TO ACCEPT THAT I WAS DOOMED TO BE PIZZA FACE UNTIL MY 30’S WHEN I WAS INTRODUCED TO THIS MIRACLE PRODUCT BY THIS HIPPIE-ASS FUCKER I KNEW. SHE CLAIMED THAT IF I USED IT IN PLACE OF FACE WASH, IT WOULD CLEAR ME RIGHT UP, NO SHIT. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I WAS MORE THAN A BIT SKEPTICAL. AFTER ALL, WE HAD SPENT LITERALLY HUNDREDS ON MIRACLE ACNE REMEDIES THAT DIDN’T FUCKING WORK, SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD THIS SHIT? IT WASN’T EVEN FUCKING MEDICATED! BUT I FIGURED I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE, SO I WENT FOR IT.

WELL, LEMME TELL Y’ALL. I WAS WRONG. SO FUCKING WRONG. 

WITHIN A WEEK, HALF OF MY ACNE WAS GONE. WITHIN THREE, I HAD THE CLEAREST SKIN I’D HAD SINCE I WAS A YOUNG CHILD.

PEOPLE NOW ASK ME ALL THE FUCKING TIME WHAT MY SECRET TO CLEAR SKIN IS, AND I TELL THEM ALL ABOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL SHIT. IT WORKS MIRACLES, AND IT DOESN’T FUCKING BURN YOUR EYES IF YOU GET IT WITHIN TWO INCHES OF THEM, UNLIKE TRADITIONAL ACNE CREAMS DO. AND THE BEST PART? IF YOU ARE LIKE ME AND HAVE SENSITIVE-ASS SKIN, AND/OR IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO A LOT OF THE SHIT OUT THERE, THIS STUFF IS ALL NATURAL, AND SUPER GENTLE. SERIOUSLY. I’M PRETTY SURE YOU COULD RUB THIS SHIT IN YOUR EYES IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO, BUT I HAVEN’T FELT INCLINED TO DO THAT.

WHAT’S THAT? YOU HAVE DANDRUFF AND NONE OF THOSE FANCY-ASS SPECIAL SHAMPOOS HAVE HELPED? WELL, YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKER, YOU’RE IN LUCK, BECAUSE THIS SHIT CLEARS THAT UP TOO! 

GOT PSORIASIS? ECZEMA? NO PROBLEM!  NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS ARE ANY MATCH FOR THIS SHIT!

WHAT’S THAT? YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU CAN BUY THIS MIRACLE SUBSTANCE? WELL, POP ON OVER HERE AND GO FORTH AND GET YOUR HANDS ON THIS WONDERFUL SHIT, YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKER!

Okay, this actually works friends. Seriously, I’ve used it before and whoa.

My face! OoO!!!

I haven’t bought any recently, but I can say 100% that it works. 

You had me at Hippie-ass fucker.

All the reviews say the same thing too

you guys can get it here too!! (in case you live outside the US, because shipping is a pain on this website otherwise)

10 Reasons to Hate Donald Trump

1. His ex wife admitted that he forced her into sexual situations.

2. He wants to spend billions of dollars of our already dwindling budget to build a wall to stop Mexicans from coming into the country.

3. When asked hard hitting and relevant questions by a female he avoided them and went on to blame it on her period.

4. He gave out a senators private number out of spite.

5. If he can’t fix his hair how can we expect him to fix our economy?

6. He accused all immigrants of being rapists.

7. He believes immigrants stealing jobs is actually a thing.

8. He believes that sexual assault is to be expected when men and women are put together.

9. He’s disgusted by breast feeding.

10. He’s overall just a sexist, racist bully who uses his money in order to push people around. 

I’m not even american but oh my god don’t let this scumbag be your fucking president

11. He wants to shut down all mosques, though he knows that it may be illegal

12. He wants to make all Muslims wear a badge and carry an ID that says that they’re Muslim

Remind you of anything?

Reblogging again for that^

13. He said that autistic children just need to be properly disciplined and that people suffering through depression and PTSD are acting as though they’re the first generation to struggle with these issues.

everyone needs to see this

14. He wanted to set up a “humane deportation force” That would rid America of Illegal immigrants.    

Eerily enough, the Nazis had proposed a similar idea of wanting the Jews out of Europe; to set up a deportation force to exile the Jews from Europe. (source)

Wake up America.You are literally voting for the modern Adolf Hitler

15. He made fun of a NY Times reporter’s disability.

16. He said that if he would date Ivanka if she wasnt his daughter.

My mom just sent me this picture of my dog…I guess we got a lot of snow, then

update:

Great update

This is from Andy samberg’s show?? Dude

PLEASE WATCH THE SHOW IT’S INSANELY PROGRESSIVE!

…I’ve been going thru this guy’s twitter for the last hour

this is the shit

I showed this post to my boyfriend and he tried to take his shirt off like a girl and 

uh

yeah

Out of the 82k notes my post got this is by far the best comment holy shit thank u for being u

So i tried it both ways and uh

i mean how do you do the first one without pulling out all your hair?

this made me laugh really hard….

and it made me realize that girls and boys pull their shirt off differently. /amazed

but seriously I think girls just do the cross arm thing because of HAIR like demonstrated 

So one year, one URL change, and a hair cut later, I decide to try again… FOR SCIENCE! 

Its not science unless you write it down so 

First method:

Well done, i guess…

Second:

I fucked up

Girls… how?

I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW WE CAN HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT WAYS OF TAKING OFF SHIRTS AND SO MUCH DIFFICULTY DOING IT THE OTHER WAY

I FIGURED IT OUT!!!!!

It’s all in the way that girl/boys shirts are made.

Girls shirts have less armpit room then boy’s do and are generally shorter so pulling it off over your head is more practical because by lifting your arms all the way up you make enough room for the sleeves to just slip off.

Boys shirts have more room and are generally longer so it is easy to slip them off over your head.

but if you take a girls shirt off like a boys shirt you will get your arms caught because there isn’t much armpit space.

and if you take a boys shirt off like a girls shit you will still have your head in it when you’ve lifted your arms all the way up because of the shirt’s length.

It has nothing to do with us. It is entirely to do with how our shirts are made. I figured it out for you. YOU’RE WELCOME!

bless you

look what is back on my dash. Jesus.

This came back but with ACTUAL SCIENCE you are the saviour of our generation

I have no words

I seriously just needed this

This deserves the 1 million+ notes it has.

i love the mythbusters they’re like those weird uncles that you only see occasionally at big family reunions and every time you see them they’re like, “hey kid, wanna see what happens when we light a bee hive full of jalapeños and grenades on fire and shoot it?” and you’re like “uncle adam no” but it’s too late and there go your mother’s hydrangeas