I'm not a llama

I’ve been waiting a year to post this

I love this scientist man who has probably been, on many occasions, a victim of physics

Reblog if you have been a victim of physics

I love how they say “Free stuff” as if these people are after like a wide screen TV or an X-box or something and not…you know…medical care so they don’t die in agony of terminal disease or injury just because they’re not wealthy or a roof over their heads so they don’t freeze to death in the street for the Unforgivable Sin of being unemployed and homeless

“These damn socialists just want us to give them things for free!”

No one’s asking you to give them a fucking Ferrari or a swimming pool for free asshole they’re just saying it shouldn’t cost money for someone to access the basic necessities they need to stay alive because Not Dying shouldn’t be seen as a privelege that’s only available to the rich

anyone heading back to school in the US to live on a college campus for the fall semester should uhhhhhhhhhhhh pack light and have a plan to get the hell out of dodge at a moment’s notice

this sounds jokey but i’m dead serious. if you plan on living on a college campus this fall please know that there is no amount of cleaning or “distancing” will keep COVID out of the school. these schools know that they are risking your life and the lives of their faculty by bringing people back on campus but they want your money more than they care if you live. 

think about how unventilated dorm rooms are. think about how you somehow have a cold for 4 months straight at school. think about how fast the flu moves through a dorm. think about how foolish people act at when they’re drunk with friends. all it takes is one get together where 5 people remove their masks to play kings cup and the whole school is fucked. 

you need a plan now. you need to pack light so you can leave quickly if necessary. you need to work out now how you will get home in the event that you need to be off campus immediately. if by some miracle you’re still there by october you can cross that bridge when you come to it. but you need to make a plan now.

As a faculty member, I am currently sitting in an hours-long training literally all about how to switch to online instruction in the (almost inevitable) event that we have to go fully online after opening up. Everyone is pissed.

the concept of bbc merlin is actually so funny like. hey remember that super old wizard from king arthur? remember how he was extremely powerful and like experienced time backwards and stuff? what if instead of all that he was just. a dumb little magic twink.

UNMUTE THIS 💀💀

I’m actually fucking dead. I just… I can’t stop watching this. That fucking triple take at the end gets me every time

here’s a damn fine example of why comedy doesn’t have to be offensive to be fucking hilarious

Don’t confuse my hatred of the hyperwealthy for jealousy over what they have. I don’t want a six figure sports car, or a 40 room mansion, or a gold leaf truffle wagyu steak dinner. I want redistribution of wealth that allows for infrastructural support of all citizens’ basic survival needs.

Saying Uma Thurman is too old to reprise her role as Poison Ivy at 49 is a weak and sexist take. How old do you think Robert Downey Jr and Mark Ruffalo are? Let Harley have her milf.

i love paying for education

This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.

A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.

Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic?  She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing.  But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great.  She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success.  So - what gives?

His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear.  Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles.  He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses.  You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on.  Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered.  He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit.  That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.

I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way.  I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did. 

It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this.  But no one ever told me.  I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes.  No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.

I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed.  I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to.  No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to.  I guess I just didn’t know.  I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.

I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.

I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.

So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while.  But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not.  Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.

This post is one of those things that I will reblog every time it appears on my dash.  This is so important, and no one ever tells you about it.

I almost didn’t read this but then I did and I’m really glad that I did.

Super important

Tldr: The reason clothes never “looked right on you” is because models and celebrities always had their clothes tailored to fit them perfectly.

I love this post but it always frustrated me just a little because I can’t even afford to buy new clothes let alone get the clothes I have tailored. But then I remembered that a lot of things are easier to do than you think they will be, so here’s some resources on how to alter your own clothes!

Please read this, it’s an opportunity to learn about yourself, possibly a new skill and why it isn’t you, it’s the industry.

I’ve never ONCE seen one of these and not being just like…absolutely riddled with tension, so. Keep passing them around, I guess!

Needed that, thanks. 👍🏻