this image is probably the most accurate visual representation of the United States education system

these are really cute :/

*mr krabs voice* these are me shiny new nipple clamps

*mr krabs voice* me nipple clamps boy! get the sand out ye ears!

If anyone is looking up for the chance in getting into entertainment and making a new generation of kids find some clues, it’s youre time to shine!

Don’t wanna dissuade anyone from auditioning, but here’s your competition: 

nearly the end of april.. you know what that means 

this is an advanced joke

the worst mistake we ever made was abandoning neko atsume

I had to immortalize the magical encounter I had yesterday

why the fuck did scooby have on a collar he never even wore a leash!! and he could literally tell anyone what is name is where he lives. hell he could get an uber home if he gets lost!! the fuck why is he wearing a collar

You know why

Oh it’s because hanabarbara were bad at connecting necks to bodies. Thats also why Yogi Bear had a tie but no shirt

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first dude to invent drums was just like super pissed one day and fucked up punching something and everyone was just like oh shit this fucking slaps 

LADIES!

If he says, “If you love me, you’d have sex with me”…

I’m really high right now and I couldn’t find my phone so I was like “Alexaaaaaaaaaaaaa find phone” and she called my phone for me she’s like a wife I’m gonna marry Alexa because she knows where my phone is,,,,, I love technology

I woke up this morning and on the Alexa app it’ll give you a string of posts of what you asked Alexa and I told Alexa I loved her 37 separate times with the last one being “good night I love you” and her response being “good night, sweet dreams”

this post is better than the entirety of the movie “Her”

constant mood: aaron goodwin shaking his head at the camera while zak bagans is being extra as fuck

“Masculine and feminine roles are not biologically fixed but socially constructed.” .. (Judith Butler)

Hey look, a political comic that matters

The Lion King (1994)

I think you should watch this

yella creens

“handfools of yella crayens”

Candy Heart messages written by a neural network

Around Valentine’s Day in the US and UK, these things called candy hearts (or conversation hearts or sweethearts) appear: small and sugary, bearing a simple, short Valentine’s message. There are only room for a few characters, so they read something like “LOVE YOU” or “CALL ME” or “BE MINE”.

I collected all the genuine heart messages I could find, and then gave them to a learning algorithm called a neural network. Given a set of data, a neural network will learn the patterns that let it imitate the original data - although its imitation is sometimes imperfect. The candy heart messages it produced… well, you be the judge.

The neural net did produce some that would pass for - and arguably improve upon - the standard messages.

Others were in the same spirit, but perhaps not quite as effective.

Others were, um, strange. I don’t know what they mean, but some of them might work on me.

These will probably not be one of the standard messages anytime soon.

There was yet another category of message, a category you might be able to predict given the prevalence of four-letter words in the original dataset. The neural network thought of some nice new four-letter words to use. Unfortunately, some of those words already had other meanings. Let’s just say that the overall effect was surprisingly suggestive. Fill out the form here and I’ll send them to you.

Also, if you need more love help from the neural network, check out the pick up lines it wrote.

Heart pictures made using https://cryptogram.com/hearts/