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Lorien Legacies

@eighthgarde / eighthgarde.tumblr.com

still not over eight's death
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[playing scrabble]
Six: I will put my “A” down to make “A.”
Eight: I will add to your “A” to make “AT.”
Marina: I will add onto your “AT” to make “RAT.”
Adam: I will add onto your “RAT” to make “BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC.”
One: [flips the board]
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Me sobbing at 3 am on a Monday night: I don’t know man I just really miss the lorien legacies fandom ya know? Like we were small enough already and now there’s only like three active accounts and I’m not even one of them. I never post about it anymore and they aren’t even quality books so why am I so hung up on them? what HAPPENED to us
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My emotions are valid*

*valid does not mean healthy, or good, or to be privileged above common sense and kindness

A distinction for anyone who is young and hasn’t figured this out yet:

You are allowed to have whatever emotions you want. No one can control your emotions. Emotions are healthy responses to things.

You are not allowed to have behaviors that are harmful just because you have certain emotions. Your behaviors are what you can control, and they are far easier to control than your emotions.

You can be jealous about someone or their talents until you turn green, but it is harmful to yourself and to that person if you try to sabotage them because of it. You can be so angry you can literally feel your temperature rise, but this does not give you permission to rage at others.

Your emotions are valid. They are always valid. You are a person of value. However, you behaviors are not always justified just because of those emotions. You may not be able to control you emotions, but you can certainly control your behaviors.

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princecardan

The Fall of Five AU where Marina dies instead of Eight

I hear a voice in my head.
Eight, it’s been weeks.
The sun peaks out from the edges of the blinds. I can’t remember the last time they were opened. I’m not coming, Ella.
But we need you. If this is about Marina…
Feelings of repressed guilt and grief suddenly come rushing back just at the thought of her name. Something inside me snaps. Don’t start with this again. It’s my fault she’s gone. 
But Ella persists. There wasn’t anything you could do…
I could’ve teleported and saved her! I could have stopped Five! I could have done something! Suddenly, I’m gasping for air. Reliving that moment. It’s not one smooth memory. Instead, it comes in flashes and echoes and screams. It’s all my fault… It… Should have… It should have been me Ella! Just please… Please don’t pretend you understand what I’m feeling. Leave me alone. I was alone for so long. It seems easier to return to solitude. There was no pain in that solitude, just emptiness.
There’s a long pause. Then five words.
Eight, I loved her too.
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