i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

i told my mom that god has killed babies in the bible and she didn’t believe me so i searched it up and to my surprise

wait

what

there’s a list???

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

in conclusion god is an asshole

for comparison:

okay well I mean ten murders is still bad though so

wait

damn.

god gambles with your souls pass it on

Who the hell is Monkey Face

Guys, monkey face is Harambe. HARAMBE IS MONKEY FACE

Is he like the opposite of Bob Ross?

Is he like the opposite of Bob Ross?

*chanting* sam from icarly is a petefucker sam from icarly is a petefucker sam fro

shes one of us

how can you say that shes a petefucker when she has ALL of fall out boy in her locker????

its unfair to assume things based only on skewed data! she could be a joefucker for all we know

She’s a drakebellfucker

I want a friend who is as passionate about movies and literature as I am and we can go get coffee and brunch together then go to a bookstore and talk about our favourite books and then go see a movie and talk about it after

what’s the deal with super villains and new york? the world has thousands of cities. “nope let’s just destroy that one”

A cunning vampire door-to-door salesperson who stands in people’s doorways and talks until they can find a convenient moment to drop their pen and the person picks it up and the vampire says oh “Thank you” and the person says “you’re welcome” and the vampire smiles a big fangy grin and steps inside

And that’s this vampire’s modus operandi for decades And then the language starts to change and suddenly millenials have homes and the vampire thanks them and they say “oh, no problem” and the vampire is like ???????????????? this was not the plan

me approximately an hour after every time I make tea (via madopiano)

When It’s My First Day of School

Freshman Year:

Senior Year:

I wonder if many other people listen to music and imagine intense, dramatic, emotional movielike scenes with their favorite characters, or if I just have too much time on my hands