أؤمن أن لكل شخص مباهجه الخاصة ، لكل شخص تجربته الفريدة ، وطريقته في التعايش .. زاويته ، تأملاته ، أفكاره وهيئة أحاديثه ، مكان لايتنازل عن زيارته ، مذاق يحب مشاركته ، وربما صناعته .. ولكل شخص قدرته على تجاوز الأحداث ، لكل شخص روتين لايشبه الآخر ، حرر نفسك من المقارنة بين حياتك وحياة غيرك .. *

- وجدان الحيدر

إن أعادوا لك الرسائل القديمة، فمن يعيد لك الأحبة؟!

*’

أفسِحَ ليّ ضِلعيكَ ، أودُ الخلودّ في موطني.

‏

‏"ماذا لو أخبرتك أن الحديث معك شيئًا يشبهُ احتضان ألف غيمة، أو تأمُّل سماء مليئة بالنجوم؟"

إنها إحدى الليالي التي اتمني فيها لو كنت في زمن الستينيات ذاهبة لحفلة تُحييها السيدة أم كلثوم مُتأبِطة ذراع رجل وسيم و ماشيةً بكل ثقة تجاه القاعة و حِذائي ذو الكعب العالي يصدر صوتاً مسموعاً ع ارضية القاعة الرُخام و نسمات الهواء الصيفية اللطيفة تجعل شعري يتطاير و يُشاركها في التطايُر ذيل فستاني الأحْمَرُ القَانٍ للقصير الذي اشتريته خصيصاً لهذا اليوم.. و من ثم نستمتع بأُمسية لطيفة مملوءة بألحان رائعة لن يكررها الزمن و صوت كوكب الشرق العظيم..

How he tells me he loves me.

Very rarely does he tell me he loves me. But that’s okay because actions speak louder than words.  When I was sick and vomiting every 5 minutes, bed ridden with no energy. He stayed by my side the entire time. And held me and walked me wherever I went. And fed me. And made sure I took all of my medicines on time.

Or when I stare at myself in the mirror with a frown, as if reading my mind, he smiles and tells me I look beautiful in hijab and that I am not me without it.

How one day I was in a rush and in the midst of all the chaos I mention how I wished that I thought to iron my clothes earlier in the day. I look down at my wrinkly clothes and throw them onto the bed, getting ready to step into the shower. When I come out of the shower, I see him humming to himself while he irons my clothes.  Or how whenever I am craving something he goes out of his way to make sure that I have it. Like, I mentioned I like green apples instead of red (red apples are his favorite) so he replaces all the red apples in the house with green apples. Or how I mention I am craving I want sushi so he searches day and night till he found a sushi spot. And there was that one time we went shopping and I kept staring at this one top but I didn’t have my wallet with me so I decided I’d get it another day. But then I see that he already purchased it and a headscarf to match it. Like the day that I was staring at the makeup isle from the corner of my eye but I walked away because I didn’t want to bore him with my obsession with lipstick but he takes my hand and drags me back to the makeup and tells me to go crazy. Or how I told him I wanted him to wear blue the day of our wedding but if he couldn’t find it it was okay. But he was so persistent and spent 4 days of nonstop shopping (he hates shopping) in order to find a blue sherwani to match my saree.  Or how he remembers the details. Like my favorite color is green so he always buys me green gifts. That I like cats so he tells me about random stray cats he sees or points them out whenever we go out. Or that I thought one of his shirts would look better with black jeans so he randomly surprises me a week later by going out and buying black jeans. Or how I tell him sometimes I think I take too many selfies but instead of discouraging me he tells me to send him a selfie whenever I get dressed up to go anywhere hahaha. Or how he always holds the car door open for me and he tucks in my saree to make sure it doesn’t get caught. Or when he learned that I like soft pillows so in the middle of the night he goes out and gets me the softest pillow he can find. Before we got married he told me that he has very little to offer me, that he is a man of little wealth, a simple man. But if he only knew that I value the little things, how much the little things mean to me. 

This is love❤️

—

Charles Bukowski

(me)

‏في كل أغنية أحبُها .. شَيء يخصُّك !

‏" وكأنما كفيّ لا يستمد كمَاله، إلا بكفِك “

“فلتهربي ما شئتِ عن عيني, فإنك في الضلوع تسافرين”

“Runaway from my eyes as you wish, you travel within my ribs.”

— Paul Celan, tr. by Paul Weinfield, from “With your Hand Full of Hours,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

i want to be your best friend and the love of your life and your adventure partner and your girl