everything is better when it's gay

Relationships get so bananas when you start deciphering the other person’s love language.

Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?

And I was like “i don’t mind waiting” cause I never want to run

But they said they wanted every minute they could get because I’m so busy usually

Which is when it clicked that I didn’t get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didn’t see MY signs of affection in them and went “cool! Casual buds it is.” But now that I’m seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.

Anyway, some people show affection through time or intensity or commitment and not vocally. I really have to remember that!

Fyi- just in case you didn’t know.

TOUCH got a bro that likes to give high fives? Back slaps? Are they a hugger? Do they not blink an eye at cuddles?

QUALITY TIME this bro will (as op stated) sprint to spend every minute possible with you. Every second that you guys are together is a declaration of affection.

WORDS does your bro tell you how amazing and great and fantastic and wonderful you are all the time? Guess what…?

GIFTS do they buy you coffee? Snacks, energy drinks, spot you at the restaurant? Did that one key chain removed you of them? Ding ding!

ACTS are they always doing things for you? Ie: Nah bro, I got this, I can do that, need me to get anything for you, I can help with…?

PRO TIP - The way people show love is often how they receive love as well.

I reblogged this recently but it got better and ive been thinking and learning a lot abt love languages so

tired isn’t even a mood anymore it’s my entire personality

are you nasty

PUT THIS ONE UP ON THE FRIDGE, MOM

incorrect teen wolf 17/? (insp.)

Stiles is #relatable

so you mean to tell me this didn’t actually happen

Thank god for John Mulaney, because “That’s exactly what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking horse” is incredibly satisfying to hiss at the news.

voulez-vous by ABBA goes hard as fuck and if you say that u don’t do the little a-ha’s with passion than ur a liar

as anyone who has ever worked on a live version of Mamma Mia will tell you, the “ah-ha’s” are the only part the song crew responds to after a while, and the only joy you get from it is bellowing them at the top of your lungs in the wardrobe room with ridiculous accents because jesus christ almighty, you’re contractually obligated to listen to this shit for ANOTHER TWO WEEKS and no paycheck is actually worth having the megamix stuck in your head for a month after that.

i am so tired of peeing. i drink the water, which i apparently need to live or something, then i have to go put the water somewhere else five minutes later. i drink the water, i go to a place to un-drink the water, i wash my hands, i leave, then i have to drink more water. guess where that water ends up? not in me! i give the water to my body and like a child it tosses it out and demands more. all hours of the day all hours of the night no matter what i am doing my life is interrupted by piss and this is bullshit

This sounds like it was written by a powerful being that is trapped in a human vessel and keeps having their plans thwarted by bathroom breaks. 

You know too much.

Shuri shouting out the floor is lava and recording the confusion among the avengers wondering why tchalla king of Wakanda hopped up on a counter cause goddammit his little sister pulls this shit all the time and peter is stuck on the wall because he’s also a child of the internet and understands the meme life and now his fate is sealed there will never not be a time Shuri isn’t camera ready and yelling out the floor is lava to see the wackiest places she could get peter to stick on

T’Challa ignored her once so she developed synthetic deployable lava and the next time she yelled the floor is lava it actually was. T’Challa lives in fear now because he knows if he doesn’t pretend the floor is dangerous, it will be.

Once she got peter to stick onto T’Challa.

Everytime she does this, Thor is the first to find high ground. because Loki used to play the same game, and Loki was never one for ‘pretend’.

I need fanart of, like, all of these scenarios.

Always reblog

As a former zookeeper we would hear this a lot. “If you don’t study hard you’ll end up cleaning poop for a living.” It’s the one time we’re allowed to go off on the visitors. I once heard my boss rant for five minutes at a lady, in front of her kids, about how he had a Master’s degree, how people literally worked there for free, and how dare she judge people without bothering to know anything about them. Later that day his boss came by and said, roughly, “She told us what happened. Thanks for not throwing anything this time.”

“Thanks for not throwing anything this time”

We know that HYDRA couldn’t completely erase Steve from Bucky’s memory… but maybe they knew that, and manipulated it to their advantage. It’s eerie how much a young Robert Redford resembles Steve Rogers during the 1940s:

Maybe HYDRA chose Pierce to be Bucky’s handler based on his striking resemblance to Captain America. Perhaps he rose through the ranks because of how well he could control Bucky, without using extreme violence. He would have been the perfect brainwashing tool.

So how many times did Pierce take Bucky’s love for Steve and use it against him? Is that partially how HYDRA made Bucky so complaisant, so willing to take orders from Pierce? 

A young Alexander Pierce would just have to smile at Bucky while spewing lines about Saving the World, and The Greater Good, and Bucky would have listened. It would have sounded so familiar to him, manipulating the part of his brain that would follow Steve Rogers anywhere.

The manipulation is especially noticeable in the vault scene. Seeing Steve on the bridge confused Bucky, but Pierce brings him back to focus by lecturing him about doing his part to shape the century. Bucky looks abashed, until Pierce says: “[if we don’t do our parts]…HYDRA can’t give the world the freedom it deserves”. At those words, Bucky really looks at Pierce, actually considers him for the first time:

He has a bite to his voice as he replies “But I knew him” – so different from his submissive behaviour seconds before – because now that he remembers Steve, he doesn’t implicitly trust Pierce. Bucky looks resentful, like he’s seeing the manipulation for what it is, though he doesn’t understand why.

Even as his memories return, Bucky could be wary and nervous of Steve, confused by HYDRA’s manipulations. It could explain why he’s running from Steve in Civil War.

Peter Parker, a Gen Z kid, screws up: Fuck, guess I’ll kill myself.

Steve Rogers, an artist during the 30’s and a soldier during WWII who knows full well what Dadaism and fatalistic humor are: There’s bleach under the sink–

Bucky Barnes, the guy who listened to Steve’s art rants in the 30’s, watched his back in WWII and went through 70+ years of shit: –And a rope in the supply closet if you want options.

Rest of the Avengers: ?????!!!!!!!?????

Shuri, also a gen z kid: don’t be a coward, jump out the window. Have some style would you

ok all drama involving jk rowling and nagini being a fuckin person and shit aside

yall know milking snakes is not. milking their fucking snake titties. right

you guys know snakes don’t have tiddies… . . right

YALL

YOU KNOW THIS RIGHT? YOU KNOW MILKING A SNAKE MEANS TO EXTRACT THEIR VENOM 

RIGHT?

I thought about venom extraction when I was reading the book ad a child too, but unfortunately there exists a planned illustration that shows babyfied Voldemort sucking on a snake tit.

THERE’S AN ILLUSTRATION OF W H A T

I found it on internet some time ago. It was supposted to go with illustrated version of Goblet of Fire.

This is the worst fucking image I have ever seen in my entire life please kill me (NSFW for snake titties)

y’know, i never really took that phrase “ every day we drift further from god’s light “ seriously. But guess what, today is the day that i start doing that.

because i’m sure god is looking down at us full of shame 

snitties

Sebastian Stan - STYLE Magazine Italia.

i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier at 350% speed and i got to thinking

what if the reason nobody in the pokemon world has any good teams is because its considered a dick move to have a proper team comp

like culturally everyone is like “haha pick the pokemon you want! if you’re happy with three geodudes, thats you and your life!” and then you’re supposed to just have a friendly battle with any other pokemon trainers and whatever pokemon they just happen to have

like the average trainer is probably just walking around with a growlithe because that’s their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes because the geodudes help him with hiking. and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet, you’re supposed to have a friendly battle but nothing too serious

now imagine the 10 year old kid that has six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you’re like “haha, we’ll have a friendly battle!” and you throw out your geodude 

and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it one-shots your geodude 

and then you throw out your pidgey you have because the pidgey helps you navigate mountains because you’re a hiker

and then electricity crackles around the gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey 

so you’re down to your last pokemon. you tell them you’re gonna send out your bulbasaur. the ten year old is like “oh okay in that case i’m gonna pull out my vulpix.” like not only is this kid walking around with an amped-up super dragon, but theyve also got multiple pokemon specifically for making type advantage counter-picks?

this kid’s a fucking asshole! really, kid? what are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly match between strangers for fun! why are you composing real-ass competitive teams? what a fucker! 

Well maybe that ‘when two trainers’ eyes meet, a Pokemon battle must follow’ rule was a STUPID RULE, dude, did you ever think of that? Listen, I’m trying to beat the most skilled and powerful Pokemon trainers in this whole country, I don’t want to fight you and your pet Growlithe. I’m just minding my business hiking this trail and you guys keep going “HEY LET’S HAVE A BATTLE” and here I’m going “Hey, listen, no, I’m training for competition, you don’t want this, please, let’s just pretend we never saw each other, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t, please don’t make me send you on a mad rush to the nearest Pokemon center” but you’re already pulling out your Pokeballs and going “hahaha whee battle” and just…

We are all trapped in a really dumb system, okay? I don’t want to do this. Please don’t make me do this. I am literally begging you. My Pokemon get hurt in these stupid street fights too and then I have to heal them, and that sucks, but the worst part is watching your face crumple because you thought we were having fun and I am LITERALLY NOT ALLOWED TO PASS YOU UNTIL I’VE STOMPED YOU INTO THE GROUND. I have places to be. I have other competition trainers to fight. I have this rival wandering around and THAT’S a whole thing. I have maybe 50 coins in my pocket and no, I don’t want to take your coins, okay? You spend that on food for your Pokemon or a cute hat or something.

Please don’t make me do this right now. Please.