Useless gay noodle

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

Chat where did I go wrong

the reviews are in

source

My niece had wanted to see the puppies tonight but I had to explain that they were still at home because they had tummy aches (white lie). And she wanted to know why.

@wolfchanw : Well, they went to the doctor today to have surgery to remove their testicles and now they have tummy aches

Niece: *thinking hard* Sometimes, when I go to the doctor and he removes MY testicles I get a tummy ache too!

To say I nearly died laughing....

your niece just like

Happy light jacket day to all those who celebrate

once in college my friend asked me to come along on a date she wasn’t comfortable with because she knew that I would step in and ruin the mood on purpose if she gave me the signal that she wanted out

I came along, it was awkward, she gave the signal, and I immediately dumped a glass of ice water over my head and said “oh no looks like you have to drive me home immediately to prevent hypothermia” but then she and her bad date thought this was so startling and funny that it broke the tension and got them talking. and then I had to sit around for the rest of their date dripping water and shivering because she decided she was enjoying herself.

Krobus what

🎉NON-MAMMAL🎉

actually im curious. if you play stardew rb this and tag which non-marriageable NPCs youd like to marry if you could. mine are marlon and mr. qi :]

This is how it had to happen because Krobus doesn’t have any arms right

obsessed with the fact that naked mole rats seem to have a whole caste of special little guy whose job it is to be really fat, horny, unhelpful, and disgusted by incest

guy whose social role is to say “I fucking hate it here, I don’t respect literally any of you people” somehow so much funnier in a mammal than a bug

A guide to different types transit of systems

Official Post of Massachusetts

Mechanical snencils

when the 1.6 patch notes said "pets that love you will sometimes bring you gifts" i did not think that meant my cat would head to the lake, wrestle a fish twice his size out of the water, and drag it home to me

My latest cartoon for New Scientist.

Yeah, I’d watch Muppets Lord of the Rings

@thebibliosphere

go is a doply complex strategic gwame, famously far more complicated than chess, with [the hypnosis activates], [for the next 30 seconds i believe i am a honeybee navigating a field of flowers]