you gotta be shitting my dick off

@spongeyrocksrock

I found a document from 1652 that’s just a guy talking about how women are better than men and wow he’s a little confused but he got the spirit.

Literally every man in 1652: If she breathes, she a THOT!

This one random guy: All women are queens!

This idiot who loves women a lot: you see…women are perfect…you can tell because when they fall down…God made it so they usually fall on their back…which hurts less and prevents them from damaging their beautiful faces…wow women are so smart and beautiful

This absolute dumbass who treasures women with his whole soul: you know how sometimes women…are bad? It’s actually just proof that they are way more powerful than men and they could totally kill us if they wanted to but they don’t because they’re just that nice they literally don’t need us for shit

For those wondering, the document is called “The Glory of Women” OR “A Treatise declaring the excellency and preheminence of Women above Men, which is proved both by Scripture, Law, Reason, and Authority, Divine and Humane.”

Yeah. That’s the title.

This dude absolutely LOST IN THE SAUCE on Respect Women Juice

*takes a fat sip of my tea* what a great day to remember that you cannot “detox” your body, nor do you need to!!! your liver works very hard to do that for you (your liver, coincidentally, does not need to be “detoxed” either).

also a fantastic time to remember that detox/weight loss teas are diuretics and are designed to shit yourself to a certain weight, activated charcoal is useless unless administered as poison control by a medical professional, and please get yourself vaccinated!!!

aaand it’s a great day to remember that weight loss caused by diuretics/laxitives is not actual fat loss

child: *is passionate about absolutely anything*

parent: gotta insult it

Teen *hides passion because they were insulted for it*

Parent: why doesn’t my child tell me anything? Must be social meadia

I always get so fucking mad when I remember that it’s actually a 16-year-old Algerian girl who influenced BOTH Picasso and Matisse. and. No one gives a rat’s ass about her work which was very focused on women and nature. History -or people dare I say- didn’t bother to remember her name because she was a young Algerian woman and no one cares about Maghrebi/Arab women. unlike P*casso & M*tisse who both became legends, almost gods both during their lives and after their deaths, no one knows her.

Her name was Baya Mahieddine.

This is some good stuff 👌🏻

Her name is Baya Mahieddine

Her name is Baya Mahieddine

40 y/o white guy: Hey kid, ever hear about Rage Against the Machine? They really told it like it is! Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me!

me: Zack de la Rocha is Mexican Tom Morello is black Brad Wilk is jewish

40 y/o white guy: blue lives matter

RATM: Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses

40 y/o white guy that claims he likes RATM: blue lives matter

Was it Paul Ryan that claimed to be a RATM fan? Like, nationally? In public? On TV? And then RATM came out and shut him down?

:)

🙏✊🔥🙏

Also I totally remembered this exchange:

GET FUCKING REKT

it’s just one of those croissant days

we love a recovery

This doesn’t just strike a chord with me, it’s the whole gosh darn song.

my gf can just scoops me up anytime she wants me to stop what i’m doing… tall ppl have an unfair advantage 

Marriage is good and weddings are great but I hate modern wedding culture. You don’t need to bankrupt yourself to have a nice wedding. Stop supporting the wedding industry, stop buying outrageously priced engagement rings, stop spending 10k on a dress you’ll only ever wear once.

Coming from a professional event planner - weddings are egregiously expensive because companies openly raise prices at the word “wedding.” 

Pro Tip - Never drop the word wedding while planning if you don’t need to. Most things can be for “an event you’re planning.” This obviously doesn’t include things like the venue, DJ (who needs specific wedding songs), and the wedding dress company if you’re going that route versus just buying a dress.

For my wedding I got “discounted” cupcakes, flowers, decor, bridesmaids dresses, groomsman attire, and invitations. I did this by either searching for things that aren’t marketed for weddings or not telling the companies I was working with it was for a wedding. Because honestly, most of the time they don’t need to know why you’re ordering.

These companies target people planning their weddings and markup everything the second “wedding” is said. And it’s said often because people assume the services change exponentially for weddings. They absolutely do not. 

The best example are the cupcakes I had for my wedding. I used a designer cupcake store in town instead of spending $1000 on a wedding cake. If you place a large order of cupcakes with a cake tree for display - it costs about $150 for 100 (which is what I did). When you order their “wedding” package - the price raised to a $700 base for 100 cupcakes. The only other perk includes a “tasting.” Forget that. Our tasting was buying a few cupcakes in flavors we thought we’d like and picked three. It cost maybe $20. 

What these companies do is scummy and targets people who don’t have information about the event industry.

I will yell it from the rooftops until people realize there’s a better way.

People falling for Clickhole is even funnier than people falling for the Onion becuase Clickhole doesn’t even ATTEMPT to sound convincing like the Onion does.

The Amazing world of Gumball writers have been unleashed

AND THAT IS THE TEA

THE WAY THEY ALL DO THAT SUCK IN A BREATH THROUGH THE TEETH AND UNFORTUNATE MMM SOUND THE WAY WE DO I’M DYING

THIS GUMBALL SHIT HAS NO DEAL BEING SO REAL????

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