What if we did live on Mars millions of years ago and needed to get on this planet because we were destroying Mars… And the only way we could survive on Earth was for us to eradicate the dinosaurs

This is wrong

I feel like I’ve been cheated on.

Incredible

0-100 at light speed

he got distracted by his own insurance tragedy but quickly got himself back on the path to romance

can you imagine if this guy knew that 141 years in the future almost a century after he died his joke would be shared throughout the world with technology that would have been totally unimaginable to him during his own lifetime and in slang terms that he wouldn’t understand at all

doing eyeliner is literally like trying to draw a straight line using Paint

Hold down the shift key

oh yes your right let me just hold down the fucking shift key on my eyeball 

Things tumblr was obsessed w/ when I joined/stalked

1. Superwholock (and the individual shows themselves) 2. Nutella 3. Chicken nuggets 4. “Nightblogging” 5. Homestuck. Definitely homestuck. And three and a half years later I still have no clue what it is. 6. Tumblr meet-up (and this actually happened in 2014 with dash con) 7. “Tumblr is the best! We can’t let Facebook people on here!” 8. “OMG DAVID KARP IS SO HOT” “WORSHIP THE CREATOR” 9. Humour blogs vs. aesthetic blogs 10. Fandoms (I know. You may be saying “but Natalya, tumblr is still way into fandoms now!” But you weren’t there in 2012/13) 11. Pizza (the food) 12. Pizza (the blogger) 13. How wild Australia is. 14. Thinking ugly British men like Benedict Cumberbatch are hot 15. British superiority.

If you joined tumblr in 2015 the only really bad thing about this website you have experienced is the staff’s inability to run it.

@linselvantas remember when you forced this ugly site upon me

Don’t Fear the Reaper

By reddit user HarryDresdenWizard

I’ll say it right now, I grew up in a broken home. Dad drank. Mom drank. That might be why I’ve never touched a drop. But I’m getting on a tangent here.

Keep reading

This is the best idea for a restaurant. - Imgur

I DON’T THINK IT’S LITERALLY POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LIKE OR FAV OR UPVOTE THIS ENOUGH

I would like to see more of these.

Is this not a thing in America?

It’s a thing all over here in Australia. You get a wrist band. Means you can buy no booze, but you get free soft drink.

this is a thing in canada too like all you gotta do is say that youre driving

Free….pop….in the US for….DD’s? Free…anything to encourage safe behaviours? 

That’s too much logic for this country. Sounds like Socialist propaganda 

GET REKT

how fucking weird would it be if babies cried while they were still in the womb like can u imagine a woman walking around and there’s just this muffled scREAMING coming from her stomach

courtney what the fuck

fun fact: fetuses actually do cry in the womb. they can’t make noise though because their lungs are still filled with fluid. x

In the womb, no one can hear you scream.

what’s a fetus even cry about? Umbilical cord taxes? Why don’t they come out of their cushy baby cave and join the real fuckin world for a change that’ll give em somethin to cry about

pay rent you parasitic little fucker

That’s some @sixpenceee shit right there 😱

do you ever get mad at yourself because youre not even good at the things you thought you were good at

ROLL YOUR CLASS

Roll 1d100, adventurers. (It’s entirely possible to end up with “adventurer”).

click here to roll online