Mythbusters have 3 categories of myths

4. Turn up the dynamite, let's MAKE it real

sorry I can't today. I've gotta sit at my laptop and hit a button to make numbers on the boop-o-meter go up. yeah, it's gonna be all day

leave the answers in the tags

make sure to reblog if you vote please and thank you

i refuse to defend my favorite characters. They did that horrible thing bc they suck really bad

“maybe he had a rough childhood” maybe hes just a dick

no thoughts in my head, only goldenheart

Whoever invented "open in app" links that redirect you to the app store instead of actually opening the app even when you already have the app installed on your phone should be involuntarily turned into a beanbag chair

i tried to hire a hypeman and the cheapest one (free) was a fucking wizard and now i cant get rid of her. she keeps saying shit like "she speaketh true" and "very wise milady" everytime i say fuckin anything and if she sees a car she tries to attack it with chain lightning. fucking embarassing honestly

an incomplete list of the most objectively correct tags on this post

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

Where’s that “correct a guy on the internet and he’ll write a missive from the revolutionary war” meme? I need it

This one??

That’s the one!

See also this part 2!

OKAY so I was studying abroad and YES I DID get the typhoid fever vaccine. and the thing about vaccines is they're very close to 100% effective if you're a normal human being who doesn't literally subject yourself to the worst case scenarios imaginable. at a certain point your immune system is like "I'm so sorry I know we're vaccinated but this is too much for me, goodbye"

so of course I was eating street food every single day because it was $1 and I was a student!!! I also smoked weed 24/7 and had the constitution of a little wretched lamb because of possibly lifelong undiagnosed hypothyroidism.

anyway I kept eating street food and ended up in the hospital with a fever, they gave me shots in my ass for malaria, and I stayed overnight. this was the hospital where I ran out of my IV fluids overnight and then my own blood started pumping out of my body back up the line into the empty IV bag which was NOT a thing I thought blood could do!! I shambled around the hospital in the dead of night wheeling around this IV bag slowly filling with my own blood like "hello is anybody here" and I found this pile of clothes in a dark room that turned out to be a nurse and she helped me out. anyway.

so i went home and hung out for a week or so like "hmm my tummy still hurts." that was ME walking around shitting out typhoid FOR A WEEK. eventually I was like euuguhh I guess I should go to the doctor. and then I got there and they were like HA-HA! YOU HAVE TYPHOID!

I had to stay 3 nights in the hospital and it was literally like the worst life-changing cleansing experience. nobody else was in the room with me, nobody spoke to me for 3 days except the doctor for like 5 minutes a day. the TV was permanently set to soap operas and I couldn't change it. I had 1 book which I read in 4 hours and hated. I would later tear the pages out and use them as toilet paper. I texted my boyfriend who was back in the states and told him I was breaking up with him. I think I hallucinated. but the breaking up part was probably the best thing to come out of that!!

oh also I had NO CLOTHES except 1 cheap slip-on dress that I had sweated in so much that there was an actual DYED IMPRINT OF THE DRESS PATTERN ON THE HOSPITAL BED. I was literally so gross and called my friends to bring me clean underwear from my dorm and they did, and they were also so mean and took selfies with me while I was disgusting even though I told them not to (I love them and I still talk to them 10 years later). I have the pics somewhere but it's me sweaty delirious & reeling and looking like I'm going to bite someone while my friends are making peace signs posing around me.

I ended up getting out of the hospital and everyone back at the dorm was like "wow we thought you were dead!" and then I immediately went back to eating street food.

Posts that have 100k+ notes to me.

Hermes and Charon but it’s classic vines and charon is never translated

“Stop using strangers online to regulate your emotions. Stop displacing your anger onto strangers online.  Stop using strangers online as punching bags.

Internet strangers are not NPCs. They’re entire people. When we are dysregulated or feel disempowered by something in our lives, it can be really tempting to try and regulate or outlet aggression by getting into internet arguments or acting sanctimonious in someone’s comments or DMs. It is an immediate rush of power. If you are feeling inexplicably on edge, getting into an argument online is a way to make your external environment congruent with your internal state, which can feel short term soothing. Is it responsible though? Is it helpful to you, really? It’s certainly not helpful to the person on the other end.” molefrances