I really hate how “your partner shouldn’t be a psychic” has evolved into “you cannot expect your partner to be intuitive to your needs or wants at all” because that’s… quite frankly ugly and a really good way to make your relationship feel like a chore. 

I pay attention to the things my partners like and Store That™ in my little brainspace until it becomes useful. My bf likes tea. We were cleaning out an office full of stuff yesterday and they had some tea leftover they would’ve thrown out, so I took it home to him. Wow! He didn’t tell me he needed or wanted that, but he appreciated it because it’s something he likes.

Not everything has to be some grand gesture to show your s/o that you’re into them and you’re paying attention to them. I recall someone saying they wrote down things about their S/O and their interests so they could look back and remind themselves since their memory sucked. Things like that matter.

And I think it’s really cruel to tell people, and especially women who this type of shit is always put towards, that they aren’t allowed to want romance or spontaneity because it’s an “unreasonable” expectation. It really isn’t. Healthy communication does not inherently mean constant hand-holding. 

My emotions are valid*

*valid does not mean healthy, or good, or to be privileged above common sense and kindness

A distinction for anyone who is young and hasn’t figured this out yet:

You are allowed to have whatever emotions you want. No one can control your emotions. Emotions are healthy responses to things.

You are not allowed to have behaviors that are harmful just because you have certain emotions. Your behaviors are what you can control, and they are far easier to control than your emotions.

You can be jealous about someone or their talents until you turn green, but it is harmful to yourself and to that person if you try to sabotage them because of it. You can be so angry you can literally feel your temperature rise, but this does not give you permission to rage at others.

Your emotions are valid. They are always valid. You are a person of value. However, you behaviors are not always justified just because of those emotions. You may not be able to control you emotions, but you can certainly control your behaviors.

“You may not be able to control your emotions, but you can certainly control your behaviors.”

take me home

country toads

tropes that need to die: redemption arcs for abusive fathers

also: “I finally forgive him” arcs for the adult children of abusive parent figures

not to mention abusive relationships, where they forgive the abuser, because ‘they’ve changed’

shoot the “maybe they really were doing the best for me” trope in the face

*Ominous Japanese flute sounds*

based on this

“kill me and live with the memory. then tell the stars that you won” is such a raw and powerful quote i cant believe it came from warrior cats

Be Still - This is the creation of a new Era. Hush now - what may be prison for some, can be freedom for many other.

This was a larger work I started ages ago and managed to finally finish it some time ago. I held back from uploading as a dear friend of mine promised a little story coming with it - but unfortunately their job really taking up their time - so a story might follow it some day!

I still very happy the way it turned out even if it took me forever to complete, the background was rather heavy and massive. I learnt a lot and well - dragon age was always among my favourite games!

Love the creature born from hate. Wrap your hands firm around their jaw as you look into their hollow eyes. Press your forehead against their’s and reassure them that they are not the hate they were created from. Understand that their cries at night are not because of you but because of the burden that they must carry. Hold them while they mourn and remind them that they are not just the product of their birth. Do not be afraid of their strong hands and sharp teeth. Their bones crack when they move and protrude but not a single one will harm you. When they hear your voice, it is as though an artist has taken them and molded them into something lovable. Their hands are strong, yet gentle. You are the kindest thing this monster has ever met.

Relog if you need this energy

source

Just one of these checks could change my life ,

Someone finally put quality content on the Less Wrong Facebook page.

someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i'm 5 years old

Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)

Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!

So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.

Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”

I want to tell y’all a story about supporting and loving your partner, starring my amazing wife.

I’ve mentioned before that I had an eating disorder for many years, and though I consider myself “recovered” there are aspects of my disorder that I still struggle with today — being quite a bit heavier than my wife is one of them.

When my wife and I moved in together back when we were still girlfriends, I was at my skinniest. She used to pick me up all the time and lift me off the ground, and I’d laugh and kick out my legs ‘cause I was just delighted to have her holding me.

But I started gaining weight as I went through recovery, and where once we were pretty close in size, I began to get bigger. And bigger. And bigger. And she remained her naturally petite self. I began to almost dread when she’d try to pick me up, sure that this time she wouldn’t be able to get me off the ground.

But every time, even if I protested, she’d lift me up and say something like: “See, you’re not so big that I can’t lift you!”

And one time I just blurted out: “But someday I’m going to be so fat you won’t be able to.”

She looked me dead in the eye and said: “No you won’t. Because if that ever happens, I’ll start working out.”

It was the best possible thing she could have said to me, because she wasn’t saying I wasn’t going to get fat — neither of us knew that for sure. She was just saying that I was never going to be “too fat” for her.

And every time I worry about getting bigger, I remember that I’ll never be so big that she can’t lift me, because baby knows how much I love being held, and she’ll change her own habits to ensure that I never feel “too big” or “too heavy” because in her eyes I’ll never be “too” anything.

Anyway, there’s a moral to this story: Find yourself a partner who will never consider you an excess. You should never be “too much” to someone who loves you — too big, too loud, too passionate, too awkward, whatever your “too” happens to be. And even as you change and grow (in my case, literally), the right person will be there through the changes, to tell you that you’re always just right for them.

My strongwoman, the wind beneath my wings, the arms under my ass.   😍😍 😍

Benny The Surrogate Cat Dad

Benny gets the most joy when his human mom brings home rescued kittens, so he can help look after them and show them the same love that he received when he was rescued. Whenever Ellen brings home an orphan baby (or a box of babies), Benny anticipates their arrival and is filled with excitement. He becomes their dedicated surrogate dad, and his fatherly instinct kicks in the moment he sees a kitten.

Photos by Ellen - Full Story on Love Meow

hi welcome to the unpublished Patrician post no one ever asked for!

[Transcript: a screenshot of a forum post reading: “Male gender. Female gender. Double gender. The gender that turns the skies to blood. A gender encircled by thorns and locked away in a high tower, where gnomic dragons seek enlightenment. The gender that kills quickly. Contagious gender. Gender that falls like acid snowflakes from the violet-starred skies of Hell. The gender that walks beside you amid the dark and the cold. Anthropophagous gender. Multiplicative gender. A gender of crystalline harmonies. The drowned gender. The many-angled gender. Vymnestra, the Living Gender, 15th Soul of the Mother of Creation.”]