filius satanae

by LAS-T

❝    shut   up,     bastard.    ❞      the  warning  comes  out  in  a  growl,    bestial  canines  drawn,    absolutely  sharp  enough  to  pierce  skin.    he’s  not  usually  this  aggressive  with  rin  but  the  quip  doesn’t  necessarily  warm  his  cynical  heart.    perhaps  the  other  hanyou  was  right :   they  were  on  the  run.    they  needed  a  plan,    hiding  all  night  wasn’t  an  option  nor  did  inuyasha  care  to  remain  hidden.    since  joining  together,    rin  a  kinder   &   more  deserving  person  than  himself,    simply  slaughtering  humans  that  went  chasing  after  them  didn’t  seem  the  ideal  solution.    there  was  too  much  at  risk  for  such  brash  reactions.    it  was  so  much  simpler  when  he  was  alone.

in   truth,     these   humans   deserved   it.      they  didn’t  even  do  anything  this  time.    one  of  the  townsfolk  just  happened  to  notice  rin’s  ears  poking  through  his  hair.    they  couldn’t  just  mind  their  business    &   tend  to  their  fields.    not  even  an  hour  later,    numerous  samurai  serving  the  local  lord  were  on  their  tail.    even  worse,    they  hadn’t  had  dinner  yet.    it  looked  like  a  homecooked  meal  wasn’t  gonna  happen  tonight.    the  thought  of  cold  slop  they  could  scrounge  up,    or  going  hungry,    ignited  an  angry  flame  in  his  belly.    if  this  were  a  few  months  back,    he’d  gut  them  all,    selfish  humans.

but   he   isn’t   alone,     not   anymore.      mulling  over  fantasies  was  a  waste  of  time.    inuyasha  sighs,    hand  resting  comfortably  in  the  palm  of  his  hand,    attention  returning  to  the  present  once  more.    ❝   i’m  not  brooding.    i’m …   thinking  about  our  next  move.    got  any  ideas ?   we  could  just  do  what  we  do  best   &   rip  those  samurai  apart.   ❞

that went about as well as he was expecting, rin supposed; all the same his fangs are similarly exposed, though in the form of a shit-eating grin instead of a snarl. the very least he can do is try to lighten the mood after he... well. blew it. as usual. all because he was just trying to tie up his growing hair to keep it off his neck in the summer heat; it’s probably just safer to leave it down now.

the grin is wiped off with a sniff as quickly as it’d come, still fully aware of the trouble they were in. bare feet swing from the bough they were perched upon, terribly high up in the dense forest cover, but even from here rin thinks he can still hear the horses. 

❝  we could... we could also, like... trick ‘em? trap ‘em? for a while, so we can actually get away. ❞ rin appears to be trying very hard to come up with literally anything to contribute, brow furrowed beneath a thick fringe while he stares down toward the ground. cutting them down would deal with the immediate issue, yes, but he can already imagine the ensuing manhunt afterwards.

kurikara rests across his lap - not on his back, but at the same time still sheathed and in its’ traveling bag.  he thumbs at the hilt absent-mindedly.

Guess who caught up with Blue Exorcist ?

their   first   winter   holiday   together,      maybe  he  imagined  it  would  be  something  different,   maybe  he  was  bit  too  expectant.    if  anything,    ryuuji  blamed  the  dramas  he  watched  in  elementary  school  for  that.    by  the  end  of  december,    it  had  just  felt  like  any  other  week.    the  only  difference  was  the  lack  of  school   &   regular,    more  intense  training.    it  didn’t  help  that  a  few  days  prior,    he  burned  christmas  dinner,    attempting  to  surprise  rin  with  something  more  than  fast  food   &   gourmet  protein  shakes   —   though,    the  burgers   &   fries  they  gorged  themselves  on  really  did  hit  the  spot.

he   thought   to   plan   something   for   the   day.      unfortunately,    it  seemed  that  exorcist  training  never  ended.    extended  drills  on  new  year’s  day,    it  was  diabolical.    shortened  somewhat  for  the  holiday,    yes,    but  he  was  hoping  to  bring  rin  back  to  kyoto.    even  though  his  family  had  already  met  rin,    they  acknowledge  him  as  a  friend  from  school,    not  like …   this.    lightning  diced  those  plans.    the  holiday  felt  painfully  average.    by  the  end  of  new  year’s  training,    they  fell  back  into  routine,    rin  cooking  dinner  for  the  two  of  them  before  the  pair  relaxed  in  the  dorm  room.

as   the   clock   winded   down  to  the  final  minutes,      the  sun  long  since  departed,    ryuuji  looks  over  at  rin.    he’s  slouched  comfortably  with  kuro  on  ryuuji’s  bed.    however,    his  gaze  isn’t  on  the  laptop  they  have  open,    rapidly  counting  down  to  midnight.    instead,    they’re  on  him.    how  long  has  he  been  staring ?    slightly  embarrassed,    by  the  attention   &   his  own  inattention,    a  light  blush  dusts  over  his  expression.    it’s  a  minute  to  midnight.    he  takes  rin’s  hands,  pulling  him  upright.    kuro  stirs,    curling  up  in  the  corner  of  the  bed.

say   something   romantic.      eyes  flick  between  the  numbers  counting  down  on  the  laptop   &   his  boyfriend.    gulping,    he  feels  rin’s  gaze  boring  into  him.    he’s  expecting  something  now.    that  pressure  evokes  an  even  harsher  blush  onto  his  cheeks   &   ears.    fuck  romance,    i’m  going  to  back  to  kyoto  to  be  a  monk.    dramatic,    but  he  swallows  again,    forcing  himself  to  meet  rin’s  eyes.    last  chance  before  the  year  ends !    ❝   i  really  like  you.    you  make  me …   really,    really  happy.   ❞    the  words  come  slowly  but  naturally.    he’s  known  this  for  months,    they  both  have.    his  gaze  goes  back  to  the  screen.    still   ten  seconds   to  midnight.    fuck  my  life.

&    so,    for   the   longest   ten   seconds   to   pass,      ryuuji  thinks  back  to  the  shoujo  anime  shima  forced  him  to  sit  through.    he  commands  the  trembling  in  his  hands  away,    much  like  when  facing  a  demon.   well,   a  demon  he  didn’t  care  about  this  much.    there  is  no  more  hesitation,    there  isn’t  enough  time  for  it.    strong  arms  roughly  pull  rin  into  a  close  embrace,    ryuuji’s  chin  resting  at  the  crown  of  rin’s  head  whilst  his  eyes  are  trained  on  the  countdown.    six  seconds,    four   seconds,    two   —

at   midnight,    he  pulls  them  apart,      a  second  passes  with  their  eyes  meeting,    unmoving,    before  he  closes  the  distance   &   kisses  rin  on  the  lips.    it’s  not  their  first  but  god,    it  feels  like  rin’s  on  fire  all  over  again.    or  maybe  that  heat  was  him.    he  felt  like  heaving.    this  was  too  much  pressure.    fuck  new  year’s.     ❝   happy  new  year,    rin.    i - i  don’t  wanna  come  on  too  strong  but,    i  think  i  love  you.   ❞

it's really, terribly hard **not** to stare at ryuuji, even when he barely knew anything about the guy. even if it wasn't their first holiday season as boyfriends, or his with a significant other... period.

it has been rather standard fare as far as this time of the year goes for rin, having a boy on his arm aside. the rush after classes end to usher in christmas (and his birthday, obviously) and prepare for new year's after that. a lot of cooking for one person! it's one of the several reasons why, even though ryuuji's christmas efforts hadn't gone quite as he'd planned, rin was still plenty grateful for the burgers. they're somehow even better when you have someone to sidle up against while you eat! who would have thought.

whereas before he would have had plenty of time during the day to cook leading up to new year's eve, the intense ex-wire training totally erased that luxury from the equation. as a result the boy has been staying up a little later than he should have the last few days so that he still had a small hope of getting everything ready on time. perhaps he also wanted to make sure he had time to rest that night, and actually spend time with his boyfriend at the same time.

rin gracefully flops onto ryuuji's bed after dinner, his tail absently flicking side to side for a moment before he rearranges himself into a mildly more upright position. kuro finds his lap soon after. strangely enough rin finds himself slowly regaining energy as soon as he's finally alone - kinda - with the other teen. he's been smiley all day and now is no different, but he does manage to focus on the year end variety shows for a little while.

it isn't long before his attention strays to his boyfriend's profile. he's seen it a million times and yet is never quite able to tear his eyes away. actually, it's still kind of hard to believe this is real. even just a year ago they were still at eachother's throats. often just for looking ryuuji's way! funny. now, anyway. the corner of rin's lips quirks up while he gets lost in his thoughts, leaving him looking more than a little lovestruck than he would perhaps prefer.

and of course ryuuji catches him staring. rin gives a startled, quiet laugh, not super sure what he should. do. thankfully ryuuji is able to recover in a few seconds and before he knows it rin is pulled upright. he appreciates the warmth of his hands, and how his own seem to fit within them perfectly, because the half-demon might honestly also die right now. the new year's "tradition" that couples typically share suddenly enters his mind unbidden, leaving a dusting of pink on the tips of his ears. wide blue eyes flick down to ryuuji's mouth for a split second, likely betraying his thoughts. it's fine.

imagine rin's surprise when he doesn't choke on his words! neither of them are excellent at communication but verbal affection still seems particularly rough for ryuuji. a warmth in his chest swells and overwhelms his nerves for a moment and he gives the hands in his a good squeeze. ❝ i'm... really glad to hear that from you! i can't tell sometimes, heh. ❞ joking at the worst time as usual! what's new.

he readily welcomes ryuuji's embrace, a little rough as their hugs still tend to be, pressing his face against his chest. his scent only further calmed rin down, even if it was only for a little while, and his free ear flicked slightly as the countdown to midnight began. maybe the nerves were back suddenly. no problem. definitely. his tail thumps against the bed seemingly keeping in time. perhaps it was more the anticipation than anything else, thankfully relieved when ryuuji finally pulls away-- and leans in. he doesn't even hear the mildly obnoxious celebrations blaring from the laptop, lips pressed softly against his boyfriend's. when they pull back once more rin lingers close, clearly just enjoying the moment. until--

for a split second rin's expression remains dangerously still, eyes wide and sharp teeth visible past his lips as his mouth opens slightly like a real idiot. did he hear that correctly? the half-demon's lips slowly pull into an enormous, very toothy grin as he turns it over in his brain. in any other situation it could be taken for amusement, or as a smirk, but the absolute adoration in his bright eyes says differently. no way.

rin seems to take his time studying ryuuji's features, as if he hasn't been gawking at him since-- since they met, really. his calloused fingers find their way up from his boyfriend's shirt to the back of his neck, feeling the delightfully prickly, yet soft texture of his new(ish!) haircut like it was the first time he'd ever done so. it's hard keeping this feeling of pure joy from probably exploding out of his chest if it got the chance.

❝ it's-- kinda' too late to worry about comin' on too strong, right? ❞ he teases, even now, even with ryuuji looking like he's going to burst. it's stupidly cute, every time. but rin pushes forward without really waiting for a response-- as always. he uses his leverage on the back of ryuuji's head to pull him forward into another kiss, nearly bumping their noses together in his excitement. (they've already done that before. a few times.) after he pulls back he remains close, with his little smile creeping back.

❝ i think i love you, too. ❞

welcome back, aoex!!  

rewatching ao no exorcist ;7;

do not repost// do not tag as kin/me

          Although a compliant student was one which any instructor wished for, one whose mind absorbed information swiftly and concisely, no amount of molding could transform Okumura into such. Not that he sought for anything different as a certain unique, if not maddeningly pervasive, charm rested with one as genuine as he. As he were temperamental and burdened, Okumura was just as determined, compassionate, and selfless. 

          Perhaps time together could teach them both something ; a willful hope that the growing patience, the widening of his own heart was not a fluke. If Okumura were to have left a single impression upon himself, his life, he would choose those qualities to remain over any others. 

          But as seemingly common, just as a breeze crossing their winter sky, was his own spacing out in thought. Rising from their study hovel, a hand comes from behind Okumura and gives a ginger squeeze to the shoulder. Whilst gentle words and tones are not his forte, there is a need for such in this moment, to validate that their shared struggles  (  upon both textbook and battlefield.  )  were not in vain.

          ❛   Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. And, uh, I appreciate you being a good student for me. I want you to know that, uh, I really do believe in you.   ❜

     It catches him off-guard as it always does, regardless of whether he was previously staring off into space or not. Rin’s head tilts back when he glances up at Suguro, his words working exactly as intended if the vaguely surprised look in his cobalt eyes is anything to go by.

     Verbal confirmations of even just an aspect of their relationship, how far it has come, are the most welcome. Echoes from their group mission in Kyoto call back the familiar warmth from deep within his ribs, summoned not by chance but with a set of earnest words from an earnest boy. Knowing of Suguro’s no-nonsense nature very well, Rin is perfectly aware of how he tries to give everything that comes out of his mouth a purpose; he isn’t the best at idle pleasantries besides. 

     It helps.

  ❝ Totally forgot that you can be kinda cheesy. ❞ 

     Any evidence that he was previously in a funk has been shed, replaced with a genuine and cheeky lopsided grin. Rin rises from his seat and starts to make for the dorm’s kitchen, but not before giving Suguro a light bump in the centre of his chest with his shoulder.

          The words escape through clenched teeth, his pair of calloused hands balling themselves up into tightened fists. Although his beliefs called for tranquility, serenity in the face of aggression, all that he could feel was the burning of his soul. It was a burden he was to weather alone, to allow circumstance to erode or strengthen him, but only him. If another had called him selfish, it was not an accusation he could deny. Yet, it was for the greater good, to ensure that no others would be affected by the hurricane of his own emotions.

          Yet a repeat incident since their last venture to Kyoto, Okumura displayed his intent to insert himself where he was unneeded. And just as in the past, there was no reason for him to be involved, no knowledge nor wisdom he could bestow to make this path any easier to walk. His right hand rises, taking a secure grasp of Rin’s wrist. Ryuuji’s own breathing is staggered, but his heavy gaze directly meets his friend’s  ——  a challenge.

          ❛   I don’t wanna go anywhere with you. Go sleep and leave me alone.   ❜

     It’s a good sign if he’s ever seen one, for once- Ryuuji getting riled up. While normally a cause for concern, now it’s an indication that Rin definitely at least got his foot jammed in the door and is ideally in the process of pulling it off its hinges altogether. That is, he couldn’t be less worried about a major confrontation; anything to remind his friend that they’re still on the same side. If this is how they have to get through this trial without seemingly returning back to square one of their relationship, so be it.

      A jolt of energy when brown eyes finally meet his own runs down his spine and sets his tail to flicking to and fro, belying the brewing anticipation in his chest and replacing the former apprehension entirely. Suguro only gets another jerk forward while a hint of a growl slides over the edges of Rin’s words.

     ❝ Make me, Suguro. ❞

          Although exasperation was thought be the first emotion expected to invite itself upon his mood, bulging veins and a raised voice to accompany it, the only distaste revealed in his expression is a light frown. Brown eyes glaze across the marked paper, passed the scribbled-out work, wrong answers, and smudges of ink. A heavy exhale follows it, Ryuuji leaning back in his chair only to direct his lidded stare to the ceiling.

          ❛   Yeah, we can take a break. I think we both need it.   ❜ 

          A moment passes as he rests his eyes, closing them and breathing quietly, rhythmically. Without warning, he languidly twists his posture, body reach towards his bag resting upon the floor. Using ever fiber of his being to secure the treasures inside without rising from his chair, two small milk drinks are gained from his struggle, along with a pair of straws. 

          ❛   I brought you one too. And I think maybe we should get started on dinner.   ❜  A pause in his words as he focuses on piercing the metallic foil lid with his straw, lifting the drink and sucking greedily. Gaze travels from his drink to Rin, softness permeating through his gaze.  ❛   I’m, uh, sorry I couldn’t be a better teacher. I have faith you can learn this yet. We just gotta keep practicing.   ❜ 

     ❝ ... Thanks. ❞

     Suguro’s suddenly strained breath had tugged Rin out of his school-induced bitterness almost immediately, his gaze looking back to the sight of the other boy being lazy for once. It was distracting, and also a little hilarious. His poor mood melts away completely when he receives the product of this strain, replaced with only a small amount of guilt at having gotten so grumpy in the first place. It’s not like Suguro isn’t also doing his best.

      ❝ It’ll work out eventually, I guess. Don’t worry. But yeah-- you’re still good with curry rice, right? ❞

     The milks didn’t even stand a chance and soon find themselves empty. Rin pulls a familiar pink hair clip out of his hair, tucking it into his pocket and letting his fringe fall back down messily over his eyes. He barely remembers to shut the textbook in front of him, too busy mentally taking inventory of the food left in his kitchen. Not that curry needs much.

          His dreams of the past varied, ranging from ascending the ranks and destroying Satan himself, to the horrors of the temple massacre reenacted upon those whom he cared dearly for. Yet even prior their travel to land of untruths and rotten flesh, no longer would his nights retain color. An inky darkness enveloped him, and it was merely pride which chained him there, a refusal to demand assistance. His destiny thus far was defined by just that, being attended to by everyone else, all at the expense of keeping their ties secure. He was unworthy of that treatment, seeing as he utterly failed to fulfill his duties. 

          With Okumura, pride and competition walked the same path, and he could not dare to be pitied by that who stood in his way. 

          ❛   Go by yourself. I’m fine.   ❜

     ❝ Oh. 'Kay. ❞

     “I’m fine” seems to echo through the air, through his ears and over his shoulders, and it pisses him off because they’ve already been through this. A couple of times. Both of them, even. It almost feels as if those old barriers the aria had up at the beginning of their friendship are attempting to build themselves back up, bit by bit- which happens to be exactly what he has chewed Rin out for more than once. They’ve already established that there’s no reason to weather shared hardships entirely alone.

     Rin drops down into a crouch. No sooner have his knees given that dull pop than his hand has found its way to grasp at the front of Suguro’s t-shirt. Only an ounce of his strength is needed, in the form of a gentle tug, to disrupt his friend entirely and bring him slightly forward; there is no overt aggression present in his actions, no malice in his facial expression, only concern with a touch of exasperation pulling at his brow.

     ❝ You think the walk’s just for me? I’m tryin’ to give you some options besides just sittin’ on the floor. Why’s that such a problem this time, huh? ❞ 

[ ao no exorcist ] ↳ rin okumura - ch.38 “Exorcist”

          That fact rung true, that Okumura, despite whatever intentions and plots the order of Exorcists had in store for him, he remained as the respected ace card of their headmaster. From carrying out impossible rescue missions to slaying a literal god, a demon whose existence could not be thwarted by even the three noble families of Kyoto, the distance between the two of them grew further still. From a lazed dropout with a penchant for fighting to the son of Satan himself, wielding a blade stronger than any determination Ryuuji could muster himself, the difference between their skill levels was soon to be that of David and Goliath. 

          His role for so many years as the head of his generation, the genius who would bring about the end to demons and their savagery, was swiped away in a mere weekend. Two days for him to learn that his place was no longer with his friends, no longer to keep everyone together. With the Impure King defeated, there was no reason for his temple to continue, no reason for oaths and protection. Renzou already displayed such, having left him behind, and Kenokomaru was well along his way to mimicking so already. 

          They had all grown so much, yet he was still here, waiting for some indication of growth, that his time and his sacrifices were not simply a waste. A quiet sigh escapes his seated figure, eyes shut tight and head bowed to the floor. Although his posture is one of peace, his expression, his tone, none could be found from within, no matter how deep he dug.

          ❛   I’m meditating ; trying to calm my mind so I can sleep.   ❜

     ❝ You’ve been “meditating” for a long fucking time. Ain’t it time to try somethin’ else? ❞

     The characteristic method of “taking matters into your own hands” comes through Rin’s words as he finally deems it time to sit up; he is well aware that nothing was going to happen, much less sleep, if Suguro can’t get out of his own head. Muscles sore and yet still longing for action are stretched in almost a feline manner out until that satisfying pop of his joints resounds in the quiet of the room. Pale fingers grasp around his darkened surroundings afterwards for the sweater previously thrown aside, and he tugs it down over his head. The state of his hair isn’t worth acknowledging in the least.

     To say that the recent abandonment has hit his "rival” hard is an understatement, and it’s obvious even to someone as dumb as him that Suguro is trying his best to not unravel entirely on the spot. To be without direction in life isn’t new to Rin, but he’d be a shitty friend if he didn’t try to help him out of it and onward; seeing someone normally so driven and well-off unable to even sleep at night tugged at his chest in a strange way.

     He rises to his feet and soon, arriving next to the preoccupied teen, a hand up is offered. Suguro is not completely alone yet.

     ❝ Come take a walk with me, man. ❞

          Hands found solace in holding themselves, clearly clasped far too tightly for comfort. Jaw wound up, the only indication of life were the movement of tired brown eyes ─── the ceiling, the wall, the floor, and repeat. Flicking around the shared room, it kept him sane, but a vacation spent content was forgone, leaps and bounds out of reach. Kyoto was home, but with no temple, no lingering duties, a missing friend, and a crowd of unfamiliar faces, the air felt as cold and tense as Tokyo’s did.

          The wounds on his body would heal, albeit with time and care. They were safe, they survived, but the hollowness in his chest strove to keep him awake on this night ; and that fact would incite a quiet rage, one built up in a solemn silence. His weakness was apparent, and no cure for this ailment meant that it was just another flaw, a burden. The last few days events explained why his weakened body was upright, sitting on the floor and restless. Yet, it did not answer for why Okumura would stay awake with him, despite the moon hanging above them both, shedding light to the midnight sky.

          ❛  Go to sleep. You’re the only one of us that’s able to be sent on duty. Knowing the headmaster, he’ll probably have you facing some demon king or something while we lick our wounds.  ❜

     ❝ I’ll go when you do, you know. ❞

     Indeed, any recently obtained injuries had long since mended, leaving only the familiar soreness deep within his limbs. His eyelids, too, had been threatening to fall closed for a good long while ever since the adrenaline rush incited by their mission had faded, gone along with his flames when kurikara was finally sheathed. Rin had crashed on his futon in their shared hotel room as soon as they returned and was still reclining with his arms folded behind his head; reflecting on their new situation would come tomorrow.

     Yet from where he lay he could still see how tense the line of Ryuuji’s shoulders was, how it translated into his jaw and even the pronounced vein up his forehead, how he hadn’t moved from that position for more than an hour. It was far from his intention to stay up half the night, but each time his eyes managed to refocus after a short doze, the other exwire was still seated on the floor ( he could at least be lying down ) and still seemingly awake.

     Concern had arisen when the half demon took note of how his friend had barely said a thing in the hours following the group’s confrontation, not even to Konekomaru, or at least to yell at Rin. This sudden scolding comes as something of a relief, then, even if it seems to be bordering on hypocritical.

     ❝ You’ll probably heal faster if you sleep, right? The faster you get better, the faster you can help me with those demon kings I guess I’ll be dealin’ with. They still don’t really like when I do stuff on my own, so... ❞

Omori by Yoshitaka Kashima