.

fiona what you did to that snake was fucked up

literally girl wtf

God forbid women do literally anything

Sometimes I wish I had the confidence of an online polyamorous white genxer from the Pacific Northwest who just got a new crystal necklace and is using it as an excuse to post a tit pic to a chorus of praise from excitable bearded pagans & bisexual barnes and noble employees who do burlesque

I love reading this each time I see it it’s like the golden ratio of words

before making a joke, be sure to ask yourself: is this O.K. to say?

Only funny to me Kind of mean

they took vine from us

sad apes in the jungle discussing deforestation

It sucks for cock-owners that we have to wring it out like wet cloth after a shower or bath. Nobody talks about it but it's just a part of life.

Philadelphians refilling the earths core with Cheez Whiz during the Great Cheez Whiz shortage of 1912

Get DRINKED (don't tell the Philadelphians)

Idea: Tumblr Poop

You take someone else’s post and chop it’s words up and twist it to make something funny

men will say anything before they utter the words prostate orgasm

Unfortunately due to budget cuts we're now reduced to 3 members of staff and a mop we painted eyes on

FINE. Since everyone wants to know, the mops pronouns are he/him