How to trick your captor into thinking they’re potty training you when actually you are purposely training them to be your toilet:

STEP 1: When they rudely wake you up, eat and drink. A lot. The more you consume, the more ammo you’ll have to work with.

STEP 2: When they put you on your wheel or in your litter box, you have two options– either stand there and play dumb or run away. DO NOT POOP OR PEE. That would ruin all the satisfaction to come soon.

STEP 3: When your captor picks you up, get squirmy and stick that tail out– it’s time for business!

STEP 4: If they see your tail up and try to put you back in your litter box or wheel, CLENCH IT AND WAIT, don’t ruin the fun!

STEP 5: If you do this enough, they’ll learn to pick you up with a wad of paper towels and hold you while you go. I call this the “port-a-potty” because humans move around a lot and it helps you to get it out. Plus, going in a human’s arms keeps the stink out of your cage, and as an added bonus I’d imagine it’s degrading for them as well!

STEP 6: If you REALLY wanna have fun, insist on backing up and turning around while going. That way you might be able to shoot some off the paper towel and onto your captor. As an added bonus, you might step in your own mess and hear them get frustrated because now they have to give you a foot bath.

Happy pooping!

I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. Close your eyes. Feel it. The light… it’s always been there. it will guide you.

reminder that i dont have a single art class but go down to the AP class 3x a day and either do nothing or use ¼ cup of paint to make these horrible orangutan paintings and i plan to make more

listen

Lord

VHS Awakens

shoutout to literally everyone who has had friends leave them and now has crippling paranoia that their current friends will as well. you guys are strong and I know your pain

3 am or 3 pm, I wanna be with you