"Hey man, I saw your image of Chinese warlord Jeong Xiaojeong wearing an "I'm with Her" shirt. I'm just a bit confused as to the messaging. I wanted to ask how you're doing. Yeah we can still fuck."

nautiloid knitting patterns by beth skwarecki… wonders never cease

If I had mandibles I'd clack them together like tongs all the time

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

important writing tip

ALWAYS address the issue of 9/11 in your story. do it as early as you can organically work it in. if you don't, your readers will be very confused. they will be wondering if 9/11 happened in this universe, how the characters feel about it, who thinks it was an inside job, etc. instead of focusing on your story

Oil Paintings by Kristoffer Zetterstrand (2003)

my official statement on this and every matter is that we all must hang out and tell our friends we love them more frequently 

jenny holzer

i really love when a character, calmly and completely earnestly, is like i’m not important, i’m no one really, just a blade that people use and throw away. no one remembers me for long after i leave their life. and then you look at the evidence and it turns out that every person who meets them becomes permanently obsessed with them, for better and for worse, and the character has somehow completely missed this fact

Tiles! I want to have a kitchen wall full with different designs

my heart's full to the brim w the joy of loving btw. i'll die one day but also i won't. on account of the love.

pick up struggling honeybee from a crowded high street. a fragment of me lives w her. compliment the cashier on her hairband. a fragment of me lives w her. alert the stranger on the bus when the travel card falls out of their pocket. a fragment of me lives w them. let the toddler in the park join our game of football. a fragment of me lives w them. i'll die but i won't. i'm here but i'm everywhere else too. you get me?

the sun literally sets and casts a golden hue over everything every single day and we fucked it all up and invented paying rent

Alright kitten listen up cause mommy needs your help here okay. Pause the game, ok-PAUSE the game for mommy okay I need your eyes up here, kitten. I'm putting these onions in this pan okay and im gonna walk out the door yes, that's right mommy's gotta go right now mommy's gotta go for 8 hours but she needs these onions caramelized by the time she gets bac-STOP LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER mommy needs you to caramelized these onions for her okay kitten mommy needs all 5 pounds perfectly caramelized and cooked down till they're all evenly brown and sweet and YES it does need to take the whole 8 hours mommy needs you to babysit these fucking carmies okay kitten I SAID TURN THE FUCKING GAME OFF

i am an ant and god is an 8 year old with a magnifying glass in the middle of summer vacation