go stoopid

"unreliable narrator" to you. i believe them

its peeling absolute orange

I swear you do one little war crime while working for a terrorist organization because of some crackpot theory you have about an apocalyptic threat that was revealed to you once in a dream and suddenly Citadel News Network is calling you "the disgraced Commander Shepard."

the govt teasing us like. yes we’re on lockdown. no we’re not <3 yes we’re on lockdown. n

THE AD IS GONE

me: I hope the pandemic doesn’t last long

the pandemic:

I had a great day at work today

Europeans really seem to not acknowledge that their lives are ACTIVELY like currently the results of colonial spoils and the comforts they enjoy, the basics of their standards of living, the foundations of their societies and lifestyles are tied to a historic AND ongoing set of colonial relationships

I’d take health care and no children in cages if it meant, like, fewer kinds of apple juice to choose from, idk.

Because this version of the post doesn’t have it: HE IS IN A RESTAURANT SUPPLY STORE. It’s not even SUPPOSED to have a fucktillion name brands!

yall look so fuckin stupid defending cuban communism LOL

this is superior humor

everyone leaving tumblr over like 2017-2018 was great now its only the sexy and hung ones left

nico is disneys next first gay character 😔

bro why would you wish me a happy hondadays when you know my family celebrates the toyota sales event

TEEN HORSE GIRL MOVIE WHERE THE HORSE DIES AN HOUR IN AND THE SECOND HALF IS THE GIRL LEARNING OCCULT SCIENCE TO REANIMATE IT SO SHE CAN WIN THE BIG DERBY

when a character pins their rival who they have homoerotic tension with up against a wall or to the floor so that both their hands are occupied and neither of them can move without letting the other person go