Yea, for I was copying the Bible. And it came to pass that I wrote "gaudius", or joy, when the intended word was "gladius" or sword. And all of the other monks did mock me with cruel words and jests. And when I did recite the Scripture at dinner, I coughed, and Brother Abelard did ask if I had meant to say "gaudius". And on the way to the dormitories I did tell of my encounter with the fearsome black hen of Cheshire, and Brother William asketh of me why I had not slain it with my gladius. And so it came to pass that I took a vow of silence and ceased to speak with all worldly men. Amen.

i hate when europeans make fun of americans for being hopelessly dependent on the burger. because its true. i AM hopelessly dependent on the burger. i love burger. burger is like a beautiful butch lesbian to me

I'm actually very normal you stupid fucking bitch piece of shit

a part of adult life you never really realize as a child is the constant need for bowls in so many different sizes. you're always doing something and going "man i wish i had the right size bowl for this" no matter how many bowl sizes you have

i don’t know literally ANY famous people it’s starting to stress me out because people are always saying names to me like i should know the names. and i never do

"name 50 famous people who-" fuck… i uhhhhh didn’t know there were that many. amelia earheart… ummmm. doja..cat.

hush little baby dont you cry. mamas gonna buy you a big horse fly. and if that big horse fly dont fly. mamas gonna buy you another horse fly

[club mix] another horse fly. another horse fly

i thot the beatles died

It was Weezer

Say it aint so! Lol

Me: damn this situation I'm in sure isn't ideal, what am I gonna do about this

Suicidal Ideation Man who lives in my brain: perhaps I have a suggestion ☝️🤓

Ask not for whom the gurdy hurds. It hurds for thee.

tarot’s most important utility is inspiring themed fanart