THE FLOWER TO YOUR PAIN

my mood fluctuates from ok to tears in split seconds nowadays. i feel so helpless..for myself. i hate this. make the pain go away lmao

i have been so horribly down lately. i guess i’m glad i’m currently working because it’s been a ...distraction of sorts to my mental health because every time i decide to have a me day, my mind literally spirals so hard that i literally am on the borders of wanting to k*ll myself some days. every time i get a random panic attack lately (which i have never experienced until lately), that voice in my head amplifies....it’s this stabbing pain. this feeling of uneasiness. it overtakes me. it makes me want to empty my insides outwards.....

i never thought this would be me. i never thought my brain would tell me words as such. but here we are and i’m terrified of my mind. 

the sooner i meet taylor swift the sooner i can pass away