That’s it, that’s the tweet

no one:

taylor:

it’s a loofah story baby just say yes

Dont say i didnt, say i didnt, shower

I think I am finally clean

only got this skin so you can exfoliate it off

cause baby now we got bath bombs

soap it goes

I knew you were bubbles

Phone lights up my nightstand in the black, “come here, you can meet me in the bath”

Cause baby we’re the scrubber dubbers, the best people in life own a loofah.

grab your rubber ducky and my hand, i can make the bad guys good for a weekend

third floor on the west side me and loofah

Long live the suds we soaked through, I had the time of my life bathing with you

put the loofah in a bag and i stole the keys, that was the last time you ever saw me

This is why we can’t have washed things darling

they say i did something bath

this soap is treacherous, this path is slippery

i’m sorry… the old taylor can’t come to the phone right now. why? OH cause she’s a LOOFAH!!

put your duck close to mine… as long as they don’t quack

The sound I just made was not so much a laugh but a feral screech THIS CONTENT IS WHAT I LIVE FOR

IT IS NOVEMBER FIRST WHICH MEANS IT IS CHRISTMAS TIME

Get in the sleigh ladies we’re goin out CAROLING. Rudolph didn’t save that one foggy Christmas Eve with his glowy nose so we could sleep on THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY. Catch me at the Thanksgiving dinner table in this exact Santa hat and when my mom suggests politely that maybe it’s too soon to go full Santa I will scream that it is her fault for literally RAISING ME ON A CHRISTMAS TREE FARM.

This is, hands down, the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen in my entire goddamn life.

Vocally political and liberal Steve Rogers

Fox News has no idea how to handle it because he’s Captain America and he’s literally from the 40’s like how do that handle that

He refuses to go on half of the news shows because they lie

Mostly ends up on the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, and the Young Turks

Starts charities that focus on kids and the poor

Donations to veterans charities go through the roof

Treatment for PTSD in veterans suddenly gets addressed after he admits to being diagnosised with it

Steve Rogers starting a twitter specifically for linking people to horrible news stories and calling news stations out on their lies and scare tactics 

Using his twitter to complain about the state of public news and how it should be a space of change and value and honesty for the American public, and how he’s so ashamed of it all

He accidentally becomes like public face for the new generation of politically savvy people

They make of shirts like WWCD “what would Cap do?”

Tony is thrilled and proud and hires of team of lawyers exclusively to handle the news stations screaming about Steve

Fox news gets slapped with so many libel fines and law suits

Going on a show and regretting it the moment an offensive question or comment comes up and decides he’s completely done and just tears the interviewer a new one.  It goes viral.  

The public face thing is just the start.  It starts this whole new wave of people that shut down offensive shit during interviews and holding their own.

There is a short time period once he turns 35 where there is a rally cry of “Captain America for President” that he gracefully turns down.

But politicians starting courting him, trying to get him to publicly state that they support him because his influence is just so massive, and they keep getting shut down hard

Talks about growing up in the depression when people bring up financial issues - says things like “With all due respect, ma’am, what others may remember as being over 80 years ago was less then 5 ago to me. Things were supposed to get better. Those issues we thought we fixed were supposed to go away - we were supposed to work to a future where it was gone - and instead it seems to be worse then ever.”

And of course he’s a raging feminist and is absolutely appalled when Natasha tells him about rape statistics

Bruce takes a lot of time to fully educate him about the social and medical side of abortions, teaches him about the various birth defects and medical issues the mothers can face, shows him the demographic information of access and need, and Steve is horrified by that too

Then Tony walks him through gay rights and other LGBTQ issues, all of them helping him understand how sexuality can manifest differently and the difference between sex and gender identity

Steve just REAL FUCKIN DONE with everything.

Angrily stands in protest rallies and dares people to start something with peaceful protesters.  Just DARES them.

Rolls his eyes at baby boomer articles about the newer generations.  He’s heard that mess before.  He’s done with it.

Understanding people have problems with medical bills, having been there himself.

Fucking standing up for single mothers becaUSE LIKE WHOA THAT’S HIS MOTHER YOU JUST DISSED.

Steve Rogers hating bullies.  Hates that kids are actually KILLING THEMSELVES because of bullying and people are just “oh boys will be boys” about it and he’s just LIVID. 

I would go into debt to read this comic. This is what Captain America should be. This is what America should be.

cries i want to embrace this post forever

Peaceful protests staying peaceful because when the cops try to start something it doesn’t matter how many of them there are, Steve’s there and he will shut them down, but more than that: Steve gets pepper sprayed. Steve gets chemical burns. Steve on shaky iphone video blind and disoriented and still using his body to protect others as the cops close in. And suddenly the heroes who stay back because they don’t want to get involved - because they shouldn’t use their powers ‘like that’ start showing up in droves.

Peter gumming up the smoke and pepper bombs before they go off. Thor becoming a one man blockade. Natasha working with organizers to help plan for escapes if things do go badly. Tony’s not only keeping Cap up to date - he’s putting considerable money behind the political candidates who will actually work to improve things, because we all know you need money to represent at the polls. They’re not there attacking the police - even if the officers are being assholes, they understand they have a job to do and often bad orders - but they will protect the protesters who have done nothing but show up. And the more they do, the more heroes join in. Because it’s not just about using your powers against the mighty evil empire Strexx or taking down some guy calling himself the Boomerang. It’s about making sure you want to keep living in the world you keep saving.

Besides the fact that I love this post already, I’m keeping it solely for the quote “It’s about making sure you want to keep living in the world you keep saving”

THIS IS THE STEVE ROGERS CHARACTERIZATION I AM HERE FOR

There’s a reason that Captain America is canonically the one person ALL the various superheroes and superhero teams of the marvel universe can agree to be their collective leader in times of crisis. This is that reason.

I hope Sirius constantly turned into a dog to get out of arguments with James, because it would mean that James was left with the following options:

The fourth option is to turn into a deer and continue the argument.

Hogwarts student: *walks in on a deer and dog barking at each other*

Hogwarts student: 

Hogwarts student: why does this keep happening

you know, when i said i wanted the real world to be more like harry potter i just meant the teleportation and the butterbeer, not the entire plot of book 5 where the government refuses to do anything about a deadly threat so the teenagers have to rise up and fight back

Key signatures used in  R e p u t a t i o n  tracks

taylorswift: Not even kitten right meow.

I remember when Taylor sang: “New York, be here, but you’re in London and I break down Cause it’s not fair that you’re not around” and today she found her end game in London.

Don’t do this to me

sobbing

I’m crying she’s found her love ✨

I did not ask to be attacked like this 😭👏🏻

Okey… crying

“Taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me”

BUT THEN SHE TAKES A CAB TO HER ENDGAME AND SHE’S SO HAPPY

I AM NOT OKAY

Last Kiss is still one of the best T. Swift songs. It doesn’t get as much credit as it deserves. It makes you feel so many emotions because there’s always that one guy who you can’t believe it’s actually over. And the line, I don’t know how to be something you miss is the most relevant thing I’ve ever heard.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things is going to be a fuckin rave on tour and I’m very much looking forward to it.

there will be no further explanation. there will just be reputation.

(personally i’m team someone give me a media/photo pass for the rep tour instead of a bunch of people from the media who are just doing it to get paid…) despite the fact that i’m unemployed and too broke to afford a professional camera, i’ve been capturing (unedited) moments of pure joy and magic at taylor’s shows for years now. nothing makes me happy quite like looking through my pics after a taylor concert.

(via leohearts)