Most Title, Very Descriptive

commission for @bix-beans , of their oc in a halloween costume!! happy halloween! 🦇

I'm not a prayin' man, but the night I found out my at-the-time-fiancé had been sending sex horny nasty horny sex asks to my friend on THIS VERY WEBSITE, I sat in the car in the parking lot of an abandoned church and watched a family of deer play in the snow, and it didn't quite feel like a sign because that part of Pennsylvania was mostly deer and abandoned buildings and snow, but it felt nice, and once the tears stopped, I looked down at my phone and my other friend had sent me a text that said, "HE'S TRYING TO CHEAT ON YOU ON THE ONE DIRECTION IMAGINES WEBSITE?" and I realized that life is all about your curated experience. A real choose-your-own-adventure deal. I have never seen someone post about One Direction on here in my life.

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor

world heritage post

YES I'M GAY:

faGgot

dykAe (the a is silent)

trannY

i may be stupid

you shut your whore mouth

i won’t hesitate bitch

stop being mean to me

when this post hits 69420 im turning off reblogs

YES I MISSED THE DEADLINE everyone shut up. on april 20 reblogs are going off for realsies this time. cash in while you can

Readers have context you may want to know: It is May 3.

occasional posts from users

being on tumblr has taught me that girls see men's hands the same way men see tits, therefore from now on i will be constantly covering my hands with gloves to protect them from the horny female gaze

QUIT REBLOGGING THIS

it’s actually so funny how challenging it is to write bona fide graphic, horny smut. like people don’t give smut writers enough credit. you are constantly running out of words to describe the same 2-4 body parts and same 4-6 motions. you are constantly attempting to do interesting and dynamic things in the prose with this extremely limited set of words. you are looking at your prose for the nastier bits and wondering if it actually sounds hot or if it just sounds goofy. you are then toning down your prose and then wondering if it now sounds tasteful or if it’s just boring. you do ctrl+F for the word “cock” and there are 37 instances of it in the doc but you hate the 1-2 acceptable synonyms so there’s nothing much you can do about it

for college i want to start making chimera plushies but i cant stand the idea of cutting up a plushie..

i cannot express how distraught this question makes me feel

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: UM, WHAT ARE YOU?

Be the only person in the room who is asked for their pronouns.

happy trans day of visibility

Happy

@waggoboyo

edit: ayo this is doing numbers. check out my newsletter, it's free and comes with bird facts

I appreciate this interaction.

Even while kidnapped and thrown into the murder dungeon of a masked psychopath who wants to saw off his legs Atem still feels the need to tell him "Bro, you're going to ruin your Yu-Gi-Oh!™ cards doing that!"

milo and 3 besties

big if true