2018

2017 was arguably the best year of my life. I went to school for EMS, I started a career in finance, I left that career because it was boring, and now I'm heading back to school in the fall to become an EMT. I met some really great people in 2017, and I saw a lot of wicked shows. I've found a hobby I'm totally enthralled in, and I'm optimistic in a way that I haven't been in a while. Gill and I have been happier than ever together and even though we struggle occasionally with being independent we've been doing so well. 2018 so far has been alright, just kind of the same thing every day, but that isn't a bad thing at all. I feel happy, and most importantly stable, and I don't think I've ever really felt stable. I guess I just work my job and wait until the fall to see what comes next. Hopefully this time next year I'm either feeling the same or better, but we'll just have to wait and see.

It’s been about 10 months since I posted here. Lately I’ve been frustrated with how slow things are going but it just takes time I guess. I guess I’m just tired of being stuck in the same place. A lot of the time lately I want to put a gun in my mouth but I know it’s just hunger for change. I want to be healthier for myself and my wife. I want to finish school this time next year because I want to start my career. I want to see things and travel to places I’ve never been and be with people I’ll never see again. I just want something different in life lately but I don’t know what it is. I really just think I want to stop hating how I look and it weighs on me so much every day. I guess I’m just looking forward to being a better me at the end of the day. Until next year.

Comfort comes to me in writing this in the way that I know not many will see this. I’m not really sure where I am in life anymore. I feel partially lost in a way, like life isn’t what I want it to be. I’m stuck in a basement working a mediocre job and dealing with a lot of money issues, but most of the time I feel happy and I’m not sure why. Not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s just something I have never really been used to. Maybe it’s just been personal growth. It’s sort of odd to look back at what I would post because I know I’m not the same and growing up has just made me a different person. My band is killin it lately, I just got promoted, and I got married just over a year ago to a wife I wouldn’t trade the world for. Life has been pretty a-okay. I’m not sure where I’m supposed to be but I know where I stand and that’s all that matters I guess. I’m not going to use tumblr much anymore but the friends I made were really cool and I’m happy to see a lot of people living better than they were when I followed them or started this. Just seeing other people grow has also brought me a weird sort of happiness even if I’ve never interacted or met any of them. I guess it just makes me feel human again, and that’s something I haven’t felt in a while. It’s been cool though. I’ll reblog stuff every now and again but consider this blog dead. Thanks for everything.