Eli McMullen - Slowing the Night, 2024 - Acrylic and gouache on panel

a pit bull is like a cinder block that loves you

things found on the ground during my California road trip

favorite finds: a stone dolphin pendant found at the San Diego Zoo and a mysterious charm reading “Three Potato Four” from the streets of San Francisco

THE WOODCHIPS

so tired of getting locked out of every site on penalty of making an account or paying a subscription. where is the internet?

did this last night

Op I love you for this

downside: going to have to include a picture of the Giza pyramids in the slides for the lecture upside: i get to give people a crash course in why perspective matters in two frames, because

followed by

is such a funny sequence

i find most people who haven't seen it in person don't know that cairo is RIGHT THERE

I loved these perspectives so I took some of my own when I was in Cairo and yeah, they're literally just. Right there. Pass em on your way to work, nbd

No, y'all don't even understand.

There is literally a Pizza Hut across the street from the pyramids.

That Pizza Hut among other things is why Egyptologists laugh their asses off when we see another piece of media where the protagonists get "lost in the desert near the pyramids", because it's like... just turn around my dudes you're only a seven min walk away from the nearest fastfood shop

Yall don't know how much I adore all of this

Don't leave this in the tags

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered

I love that the nola problem here is not “ghosts in my taxi cab,” but “ghosts are FUCKING BROKE DEAD BASTARDS & I GOT BILLS”

Horror is when ghosts get into cabs and scare drivers Magical realism is when cab companies have to develop policies to prevent ghastly fare-theft

In a book about the tsunami in Japan in 2011, the writer talked about how there was a huge increase in reports of ghostly activity. Apparently in Japan treating ghosts rudely is basically considered the stupidest thing you could possibly do. For months after the tsunami, taxi drivers would pick up a passenger only to have them give an address in one of the devastated areas. The cab driver often looked up halfway to the destination to find their fare had disappeared. Not wanting to be impolite to the person (even if they were dead) they’d drive to the address, open the door to let them out, then drive away.

subway hands

you have to guess and if you get it wrong you go to jail for a long time

1) only if you’re lying on purpose to hide taxable income or claim deductions you don’t qualify for (like, don’t lie and tell the IRS you have a kid when you don’t). If you are wrong THEY WILL LET YOU KNOW AND SEND YOU A BILL. (Or if you’re wrong in the other way, they send you a check) Don’t stress about this as long as you’re not trying to commit tax fraud!

2) call the IRS with questions! It can take a while to get through the queue, but they are SUPER knowledgeable and helpful!! I have called in the past and they’ve been SO HELPFUL, and SO KNOWLEDGEABLE, and FIXED STUPID MISTAKES I MADE.

3) IF YOUR ADJUSTED GROSS INCOME IS UNDER 79K, YOU CAN USE FREE FILE, WHICH IS NEW THIS YEAR!!

Don’t fear the IRS. The wealthy do, and they want you to fear the IRS too, so you’ll vote for Republicans who want to strip the IRS of funding so they can’t audit rich people.

Please note that the online IRS Direct File is only available in 12 states this year--AZ, CA, FL, MA, NV, NH, NY, SD, TN, TX, WA and WY--which I've never seen mentioned in any of the posts I've seen about this. Many people can also file for free with IRS Free File partners though, so do click the link and see if you're eligible for one of those programs if you're flailing. And you can also always file for an extension! People do that every year and it's not sus or a big deal at all.

this is what baby beavers look like btw

Illustration by Dylan C. Lathrop.

He needs a cash withdrawal

these bozos again

Day 2 in the Middle School Time Loop: you remember that last time, everyone ignored you at recess because they were talking about a TV show that you hadn’t watched. This time, you lie and say you’ve seen it. They ask you who your favorite character is, and you don’t know any of the characters, and so you’re tongue-tied. They think you’re weirder than ever, or maybe a liar, which is worse (and true).

Day 3 in the Middle School Time Loop: you tell your parents that you feel ill. They let you stay home while they’re at work. You spend the whole day watching past episodes of the TV Show.

Day 4 in the Middle School Time Loop: Recess again. The same person asks you who your favorite character is. This time, you're ready. You eagerly tell them, and supplement your reasons for liking them with solid evidence from all 4 seasons of the show. But! Tough luck: you’re now too invested. The atmosphere turns uncomfortable. They go back to ignoring you like they did on the Day 1 that you didn’t know was Day 1.

Day 5 in the Middle School Time Loop:

things im scared will climb through my window at night: clowns, nosferatus, the river strid,