if i didnt have depression no one could fucking stop me. i only have depression because otherwise im too powerful

We don’t need you. Not as a doctor.

every single Edgar Allen Poe poem is hilarious without context

“dude sleeping in my house has a weird eye so I kill him” “crow visits me and tells me to fuck off, in my own home” “I visit my old friend and everyone dies”

true renaissance masterpiece

its like america and britain are having a competition for who can fuck themselves up more politically 

#britain is winning but then again the us has a trump card (x)

Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)

チョップされてこまったぬぅ

karate chopt

Jeanne Saar

Today is September 14th, 2016. This is my college acceptance letter, dated August 24th, 2016, and the envelope it came in. I found it on august 31st and opened it myself.

My parents hid this letter from me, wrote all over it like it was trash, and then made bullshit excuses when confronted. This is only the latest in a long line of manipulative shit they’ve done.

I have an escape plan in motion that will take place at Winter break (late December/early January) but I need a little help to make it work. Namely, money, but there are other ways to help too. Details under the cut.

Keep reading

September 18th updates

I’ll update the original post as soon as I know for sure how this will affect my immediate needs after the move and deadlines for the others, but I will still need some money to get by on. 

Thank you guys for helping me out and if you could keep passing this around, that would be great. This is going so much better than I’d hoped but I can still use all the help I can get.

GUYS this is my friend and they really deserve all the help they can get. Please please consider donating or sending them tips/advice if you can.

I’m just gunna reblog this everyday because it applies to every day

x

Don’t you even TRY to give me context for this. I will hurt you.

HUNT

“Pokémom”

Britney omg why

this is the birthday party she just threw for her kids

i am FASCINATED by how Britney is so supportive and excited about their interest in Pokemon even though I have absolutely no doubt she is utterly confused by Pokemon

Honestly, Britney Spears seems like an excellent mom.

“Ace Hardware: No screwing, just lots of screws.”

“Ace Hardware: Nail your roof, not your partner.”

“Ace Hardware: For when it really is just a hammer in your pocket”

One of my friends wanted to see a photomanip of the ace hardware logo in ace flag colors, and then I thought of these terrible puns, so here you go.

At first I wasn’t going to reblog this but then I saw it again and just started laughing

my two favorite things: asexuality, and puns

I NEED more asexual puns

those are indeed the best

and those puns are literally the best

“Ace Hardware: Erecting buildings, not your penis”

“Ace Hardware: Where nuts aren’t genetalia”

“Ace Hardware: The hammer is not our penis. Its just a hammer.”

“Ace Hardware: Where muff, is short for muffler”

“Ace Hardware: Yes that is a hammer, but we’re still happy to see you.”

“Ace Hardware: You can get Off™ in our repellent aisle”

“Ace: The punny place.”

“Ace Hardware: Where all the asexuals come.”

“Ace Hardware: We’d hit that… with a hammer.”

“Ace Hardware: Can’t turn up the heat in the bedroom? Come see us! We’ll give you tips on how to fix your furnace!”

“Ace Hardware: Having trouble screwing? Remember, righty tighty, lefty loosey!”

“Ace Hardware: We would hope your erection lasts longer than four hours!”

this is helarious