Me: loves to lick the spoon after stirring brownie batter, doesn’t care about Sal Monella, whoever that is

Broth is really just a meat tea

I read this as Brock is really just a meat tea and started nodding in agreement

“boy im dumb as shit” is just rephrased Socrates’s “I know that I know nothing“ so whats the truth

this is either the dumbest thing I’ve ever made or the culmination

Rape Escape

Very useful to know, pass and share please.

Worth watching

I don’t mean to impose a personal favour on you guys, but I really would like to ask that everyone who follows me reblog this. 

I don’t think I made it very clear but last month I was sexually assaulted by someone who I thought was my friend (I don’t want to talk about it don’t ask), and it’s… really fucked with my head. 

Had I known this a month ago I would have been able to get away. 

So, essentially, I’m really pleading with you to reblog this so everyone who follows you doesn’t get stuck in the same position I was with no way out. 

I mean again I don’t want the point of this to be my sob story or whatever but if you could reblog this it would seriously mean a lot 

and im asking to all of my followers who see this post in your dashboard to please press play to this video, you never know when this is gonna be

useful, PLEASE DON’T IGNORE IT.

This is one of the first moves I was taught in Krav Maga, and it is one of the most effective.

It took me about a half hour to get down with practice, but once you get it, it’s an intuitive movement.

Please pass this along, it will save lives.

Important

Please reblog this.

Please, if you see this, Reblog it. 

If you see this, reblog please.

not witchy but definitely worth watching, stay safe

Always signal boost. Stay safe everyone.

WATCH THIS SHIT!! It’s easy, and it’s important. Please, please stay safe

This is so important! Spread and share!

i dont want a job i just want paychecks

Cool new prank

let’s cause Yellowstone to erupt

but then the world would end

Don’t worry, we’ll just tell everyone it’s a prank

sal what did you do

It’s a prank, don’t worry

SAL 

JUST A PRANK, DON’T WORRY

Fun fact : Yellowstone gets closer & closer to erupt every year & once it erupts at least half of America if not more will be gone

So basically America is living on a nature build time bomb waiting to explode one of the next (few) years

“У меня просто кость пушистая. Дай колечки”…

Reblogging this once more because my mom and I legitimately laughed to tears.

this is my favorite video on the internet

mental health tip: save this video. watch it when you’re sad. it’s the best goddamn thing on the internet

oh hot damn

I have never laughed so hard

I am despondent

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

THIS IS IMPORTANT 

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is. 

DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.

Off topic, but very important! I was taught to yell “this is not my mom/dad.” A young kid freaking out in public is likely to be ignored out of embarrassment, but a kid telling you right out that they don’t know who is messing with them? That will turn heads.

VERY IMPORTANT!! 

when it’s 2017 and you’ve left your ability to give a shit in the rearview mirror as you ascend to the astral plane

This is so fucking funny

This is peak 2017