It’s time to activate it…
Bites The Dust! now this entire post will be reversed!
Am I having a fucking stroke
november mood
me: ugh i hate clichés
the plot: and then they find out that the character everyone thought had died holding off the enemy forces after helping the heroes escape was actually captured by the villain and has been alive this whole time
me, crying: omg they were alive the whole time
the plot: but it turns out they were tortured and brainwashed or mind controlled by the villain to forget their friends and see them as the enemy, so now their friends are forced to fight them in a tense and heartbreaking battle where both sides knows each other's fighting styles and weaknesses but are nonetheless unequally matched because only one of them is fighting to kill
me: *leaning forward excitedly* go on
the plot: unable to hold their brainwashed friend back indefinitely without having to hurt them, the hero chooses to throw their weapon aside in a last-ditch attempt to snap them out of it, saying something like "i know you're still in there somewhere. you can fight this" or "you would never hurt me" or repeating a joke or catchphrase they both shared through their tears and despite their injuries, tenderly cupping their friends' cheek with their free hand as they pin them to the ground and draw back in preparation to make the killing blow
me: *physically gripping the edge of my seat*
the plot: something in their expression changes, recognition and horror and self-loathing filling the blankness, but their face quickly hardens again and they bring their weapon down on the person they love as the villain laughs - only to change the direction of their attack at the last moment and deal the villain a mortal wound while they're exposed
me:
...may I suggest an angsty version?? They only break free after they've stabbed their friend/can't stop themselves in time
Kim Possible was like I’m an extremely adept martial arts fighter and world hero and this is my sidekick Ron who comes along because he’s my best friend and I like him
pixar really had to hardcore yank tony’s ‘i smoke a line of cocaine behind the school dumpster during second period’ character design to replace it with a facetuned love interest from a disney channel original movie . u already kno some pixar director mustve went back to the source material and noticed tony’s busted ass face and they had to scrap that shit immediately . he was literally too ugly to allow even a trace of his original face associate w/ the masterpiece they were abt to be making . rebooted his whole ass face then gave him his dark turtleneck and called it a day smh . mess
i’m screaming at the people reblogging this and saying that new tony is generic and old tony had some “character” like why do you people think that a man being ugly means he has personality . tony circa 2004 looks like he’d piss in the bushes outside your mom’s house and new tony looks like he’d wait 57 minutes for his food at a restaurant and still be nice to the waiter because they’re “just doing their best”. accept that pixar pulled the gag of the century and gave us the tony we deserve
pixar, completely remodeling tony’s clapped face: fuck a bitch named consistent character design and maintenance of the integrity of the original work. new tony is going to look like he would pay $60 for a gram of weed whether you losers like it or NOT
old tony stans lil pump
every semicolon i’ve ever used has been a shot in the dark
Semicolon use is actually quite simple; semicolons separate two complete, related sentences.
cool; bro
Legolas does whatever the fuck he wants because he’s baby
Imagine showing this to JRR Tolkien, imagine having to explain this entire thing
Me as the sole survivor of the apocalypse, commenting "last" on every YouTube video.
One day you get an alert that someone liked your comment
It was me, on a separate account
successful negotiator
so what do u think about plays
i like how in a theatre time and space are necessarily metaphorical. i don’t like how plays always have to begin with someone walking onstage and talking. too many directors try to work around this by having someone walk onstage and brood in silence for a moment before talking. this is worse.
If you were directing a play, how would it begin?
bagpipes at the back of the auditorium so everyone turns their heads and when they’ve turned back around the play has already begun
I was a professional juggler for like five years and all of my friends politely pretend it never happened.
Sometimes I will be holding three or more similarly sized objects and they will all shoot me the kind of warning glances typically reserved for cats who are about to swipe a fresh and crispy fish stick from a small child’s hand.
I gaze wistfully at a basket of apples and they all think, “Don’t you FUCKING dare,” so hard that I take psychic damage.
