Time Traveler Extrodinaire

eldest daughter syndrome and gifted kid syndrome are some great examples of phrases used to talk about specific kinds of trauma that the internet has taken and turned into "boo hoo these people arent special anymore so theyre lashing out!!" it was never about that you fucking cunts

eldest daughter sydrome is about a very specific trauma that comes with being expected to parent for younger siblings and even your parents as a literal child and how badly it fucks you and your perception of yourself and what you're capable of doing up. gifted kid syndrome is about how a "smart" label is slapped onto kids at a horribly young age and then they are repeatedly denied help forced to do more and more work never taught socialization or study skills and then berated and treated like a disappointment when they're human beings instead of little intelligence machines. god.

i was fucking right about this honestly. most phrases like this are about certain kinds of trauma people have faced not about some kind of fucking superiority complex

Moves as smoothly as an ocean liner.

I couldn’t tell what it was at first, but that wasn’t what I was expecting

i thought it was an otter, then i thought it was a shark, and let me say i was wrong both times

There’s literally no way to guess. There’s no way at all to guess

i showed this to my mom, my aunt, my grandma, and the minute the quarantine ends this is going to become my go to dinner party conversation starter

Sea serpent

Moose are pretty good swimmers and they swim enough for Orca Whales to pose a significant threat.

My favorite moose fact is the cryptid herd in New Zealand. We know they’re out there, but nobody has seen one in over half a century.

In New Zealand.

Hi I’m sorry. I usually don’t insist that people elaborate on their comments but-

What the everloving fuck are you talking about???

In 1910, a herd of 6 females and 4 males was released in Fiordland. The last confirmed sighting was in 1952, and it was considered marginal territory for them, so it was presumed they had died out.

Until some moose hair was found in 2002.

This lead to extensive searches and installation of automatic cameras - none of which have caught an actual moose, though bedding and rub sites have been found.

The current theory as I understand it is that they’re living off of rich seaweed beds in the area.

Reblogging for the cryptid moose

NZ moose sighting in early 2020, everything you could want from a cryptid sighting

@spiritspodcast

Ranking Gomez

The higher they rank the more Gomez they are.

Not the Better because they are all fantastic .

In conclusion?

I really like Gomez Addams

Mass Effect 3: Leaving Earth

it’s sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there’s no non-fucked up part of rasputin’s existence

did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia’s greatest love machine

basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he’s a prophet or a saint because he’s got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia’s queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son’s haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, ‘cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now  (allegedly) belongs to. 

then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, because all of russia is slutshaming the queen he has too much power over the royal family and it’s helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is magically unaffected by poison they get the dose wrong and he doesn’t die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn’t die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn’t looking, and he doesn’t die, but they think he’s dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he’s gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn’t die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn’t go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this…. he died…. of hypothermia.

additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.

op was right. there’s no non-fucked up part of this dude’s existence. even his second funeral was fucked

Commander Shepard.

honestly when aliens arrive we should start having sex with them as soon as possible. so when they decide to take over a lot of them already have emotional connections/physical offspring and will form a sizeable resistance. not me, i don’t want to, but i know a lot of you would be into that, and i’m telling you it’s okay, you’re actually the last hope for our species.

thank you op this means a lot

there are two kinds of fic writers: the “this fic will be updated every other Saturday at 7 PM EST” fic writer and the “idek it’ll show up when it shows up” fic writer

I don’t control my posting schedule just like I don’t control the weather.

am i constantly tired? yes.

but am i staying awake when i should be sleeping? also yes.

Me rn

We love to see it