parents will always tell ya theyll kick u out if u get a tattoo but my mom saw my tattoo and all she did was point it out and narrow her eyes and my dad saw my tattoo and all he did was scoff and say “ok” so lmao my advice is get a tattoo if u wanna get a tattoo

The fucking moment I learned about objection.lol I had to make this iconic discord chat into a court argument

I’m crying from laughing so hard

my mom knows nothing about ace attorney but she laughed so hard at this

i hate it when villagers in new leaf come to my house and i go out of my way to be there while they stare at my potted plant for 6 minutes straight, and they’re like “wow your furniture is so out of place” like keep your fucking opinions to yourself, i don’t come over to your ugly ass robot-themed house and call you an unwashed star wars fan, go tell that piece of shit blue otter what you think about my house maybe he’ll hire you and you’ll become the protagonist in the MTV home tour spinoff game you asshole

concept: me in very bright primary colors, my girlfriend in a totally normal outfit but her t-shirt reads "if you're mean to my clown I'll attack"

never underestimate the power of telling yourself ‘woah calm down there edge lord’ every once in a while

i loved your thesis bro <3 hmu

someone made a meme and i couldn’t stop thinking about it

[me on a date] anyway that’s every reported eyewitness account of mothman through ‘68, and that’s just in west virginia! ha ha but enough about me let’s hear about your top five cryptids

‪I have so many interests but can never start on any of them. Or, I keep starting projects just to abandon them half way through. More contradicting ADHD things (that drive me nuts)‬

‪Almost through with the year! I’m planning a fun themed January, I hope you’ll enjoy it! (RSD is fun, right?). Please consider supporting me on patreon if you like my comics :)

one time an old lady told me, unprompted, “you have long fingers.. perfect for pickpocketing, or playing the piano” and im pretty sure she was an oblivion npc

Saying “I’m back on my bullshit” is funnier when you cycle through hyperfixations at random intervals because no one knows what bullshit you’re talking about unless you’ve made it obvious before or while saying it.

To be back on your bullshit you need to be off your bullshit ever. But I’m over here jumping from bullshit to bullshit like I’m playing some kind of platforming game. The only times I’m not on my bullshit are when I’ve fallen off the platforms and can’t get out of the lava to get back on my bullshit.

Today’s aesthetic: keeping the same tab open in your browser for three solid weeks because you’re definitely going to get around to reading and/or acting on whatever’s in it any minute now.

This is a personal attack.

*finishes a roll of wrapping paper* oh shit free weapon

*bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bo

onision breaks down like a fucking ace attorney antagonist

Tumblr banned porn almost a year ago and in it’s wake has arisen the “tender, longing, aching” text post genre that you see today

the jerk-off market is low, but the emotionally horny market is high and as vaguely impotent as ever

She’s helping wrap presents