My Awakening

I remember the hardest decision in my life was whether or not to continue. What will I be? Who will I be? I’m the girl with galaxies in my stomach and flowers in my hair. I am the world warped into one person. So many questions rummage through my mind about the world within the girl that I am. Will my moons rise to the highest point in the beautiful night sky? There are rolling valleys in my heart that bleed green leaves and so much beauty. I have rose thorns tangled around my rib cage. My lungs cause raging winds that you can hear from miles away. There are oceans in my knees that run down to my toes. Beautifully coloured birds fly in my ears. They sing beautiful songs that become hushed whispers in the night as they drift. People linger in my veins; they love, breathe, live and die. When they pass my veins remind me of a nightmare that was injected into my skin right the childrens’ minds. I run my fingers along my veins when they change colours; I feel empathy for the loved ones that lost someone. I do not know these people. I feel for them when they are happy or sad. I’m their world. They don’t even know it. The sky is in my head; there are beautiful clouds that the people never see, they have never felt the wind or seen the stars flicker. Ragged mountains roar in my shoulders; causing so many people to shiver in their presence. My feet are tethered to land by old moss covered roots that are so musky that it reminds you of walking in enchanted forests. I have lived for generations; protecting the world and the people. Discovering the beauty; embracing the pools of water and stretches of land. Forests grow on the spine of my back right up to the bump on my neck. Little animals scurry along the moss covered land; the trees are tall and proud. There is so much life on my spine. There are cities in my hip that are loud enough to cause riots; cars echo on the roads, the buildings are like Christmas trees with twinkling lights. The sun sets in the west end of my heel and rises on the east side of my heart. There is new life everyday, right from a new human right down to a new valley growing. There is so much beauty in a world that has to eventually come to an end one day. I have stood in my body and stayed silent for billions of years. My end is near I feel it in the trees that shudder when my wind blows; the waves have become angry and are no longer silent. There are storms inside me that wreck havoc and tear down everything. So many storms this past year; so much damage done. My body is tired and weak. The people feel my body shake uncontrollably; my skin is cold. My eyes leak rain for the world outside of me; for the world that I see. This world isn’t safe. This world is already dead; its trash covered, there is no green, no more beauty, no clean air; there is nothing left for them. People will die soon. I’m coming to an end. I am dying. Who will I be when I am gone? Where will my world in me go? My body is tumbling down; this is the end. I have reached the upcoming event that I dreaded. My fingers shake and the people panic; I feel their fear run through my veins as they slowly come to their finale. I embrace the panic, and my beauty that is left. The birds are gone; there is no song. The inhaling and exhaling wind has stopped; the trees have become fraile, it looks like fall. Cities are down, valleys are torn apart. I’m the girl with dead people in my veins and no more life in my heart. All colour is drained from my world; dying drags on. That’s what dying is like. It just drags on. You’re born than you just start dying and somewhere in between that you start to live. I lived. And now I’m dying. I close my eyes and shudder, “This is my end.”I’m the girl with no more world in her but her own. I’m the girl with flowers twisted into her braid and her eyes closed in a field, and nerves pulling on her heartstrings. I’m the girl they could write stories about; the endless character that never dies. I’m the dismal in distress but I’m also my own hero. I am imaginative; I can move, live and die eventually when my time comes. I’m like the people that used to run in my veins. But now I lay in a field just breathing in the fresh air; thinking of what had just passed. Thinking about how I was a support system to a whole world, how I have a family, how I have a life. I’m living in a beautiful place but it could never replace my home. I’m the girl with clouds in my mind and no thoughts dripping through like a leaky faucet. I’m the girl with love in her heart and air in her lungs; I love, live, breathe and die just like the rest of the world will. I remember dying dragged on when I was just something that kept something else alive. I pull myself together and start to live. My feet are shoeless and I am running. Right now I am the girl that is free to just be.