VICTIM FUCKING BLAMING AT ITS FINEST

I am so pissed off with those comments I see in FB regarding sexual harassment. Kesyo ginusto raw ni ate girl kasi hindi siya nanlaban, tanga siya kasi hinayaan lang niya, bakit vinideo niya lang, etc. Well, let me tell you a story on how I, too, was harassed in a PUV.

Summer 2015. I rode a UV express going to MRT Quezon Ave. That was around 7am. I am wearing a collared shirt and maong pants paired with rubber shoes. Decent enough, right?

I was seated at the last row of UV. I was the third in seat from left to right. A teenage guy was seated on my left and a man whose in his 30’s or 40’s was seated at my right. As the ride started, I fell asleep.

I woke up after 30 mins because I felt something on my right boob. I immediately sat up straight. To my surprise, the man on my right side has his hands on my boob and he was covering his legs because he was doing “something”. I was in shock. I tried removing his hand on my boobs and I was successful naman after a few attempts. Good thing my destination is already near so I hurriedly asked the driver to drop me off. No videos or photos taken. Just the memory of that experience which keeps on repeating in my mind for years now.

If you will ask me why I did not yell nor ask for help, why I did not take a picture of that horrible man, believe me I asked myself those questions too a million times already. And I freaking hated myself for being coward that time. But what will I do? I was so afraid. So afraid that the man would recognize me, would stalk me, would do more harm to me (considering that he is also someone from our barangay because he queued, too, in the UV terminal of our place), that people in that UV would not believe me and would not help me, etc. I felt so helpless that time.

Why am I telling my story now? A lot of people are putting the blame on women who experienced harassment and it is so disgusting. Guys, to be honest, the mere act of those women who took pictures and videos of their molesters ARE ALREADY BRAVE THINGS TO DO. They have evidences. Posting it on social media means it might help them find the douch who molested them and not just to gain likes or attention like wtf how are u supposed to enjoy the “spotlight” in social media if you are molested and harassed??? DO NOT PUT THE BLAME ON THEM. AND JUST BECAUSE THEY DID NOT FIGHT NOR STOOD UP FOR THEMSELVES DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN THAT THEY WANTED WHAT HAPPENED LIKE WTH GUYS???? ARE YOU IN YOUR RIGHT MINDS? THEY WERE AFRAID. THEY WERE REALLY AFRAID. BELIEVE ME. I’VE BEEN THERE. AND AGAIN, DO NOT TEACH US, WOMEN, HOW TO DRESS OR ACT “PROPERLY”. IT’S NOT UP FOR US IF MEN WERE DISRESPECTFUL AND JERK. INSTEAD OF TEACHING US HOW TO ACT AND DRESS APPROPRIATELY, TEACH MEN NOT TO ACT LIKE PREDATORS READY TO POUNCE ON WOMEN’S BODY ANYTIME.

Please do not blame the victims. Just please. Don’t. And if you do, wala kayong pinagkaiba sa mga hayop na manyak na nambabastos ng mga babae.

Piliin mong maging ikaw; Piliin mong maging masaya.

Sya: you’re wearing braces? Me: yea. Why? Sya: it won’t hurt my lips if I kiss you? Me: *try mo ng malaman mo hahaha jk landeee* hahahahahaha

Hahahaha try mo bes lol

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL

Dulo

Ito na… Ito na ang huling akda na isusulat ko para sa iyo.

Naalala mo pa ba noong ang landas natin ay magtagpo? Mga mata mo ay nangungusap, sinasalamin ang aking mga pangarap. Ang ngiti sa iyong labi sa mundo ko ay nagbigay liwanag Ramdam ng aking dibdib ang pagsikdo at pag-alab. Alinlangan man ay aking tinanggap Pagpasok sa mundo ko ay aking niyakap.

Nagkakilala. nagkamabutihan Hinabi ng bawat puso ang panahon at kamalayan. Dinama ang bawat pintig, ang bawat pag-udyok Hindi maikakailang tigib ang ligayang dama ko.

Ibinulong ang lahat ng sikreto, ibinulalas ang bawat kwento Mga pagkukulang at pagkakamali ko ay inako mo na iyo. Ang aking saloobin lahat batid mo Hindi nagdalawang-isip, sa’yo inalay ang sarili ko.

Nanalaytay sa aking kaluluwa Ang bawat yapos, halik, pagniig at paglambing. Ang bawat sumamo na ang isa’t isa ay walang idadaing Kundi ang handog lamang na natatanging pag-ibig.

Pangako na pag-ibig ay walang dulo. “Ikaw lamang sinta”, yan ang sambit mo, Ito ang panata na pinanghawakan ko, “Sa’yo lang ako”, tugon ng kalooban ko.

Ngunit hindi lahat ng pangako ay natutupad Ang iyo ay napako, tinangay, nilipad Kasama sa paglisan ang aking puso at pag-ibig Naiwan sa akin ang nakamamanhid na sugat at pait.

Ano nga ba ang laban sa tadhana at panahon Ng mapangahas na pag-iibigan ng dalawang puso? Hindi natin hawak ang ating kapalaran Sa isang iglap tayo ay napaglaruan.

Hinanap ka sa bawat lupalop, sinuyod bawat sulok Nagbakasakaling ikaw muli ay matagpuan ko. Hindi matanggap na ganoon natapos, Hindi naniwalang ang libro nating dalawa’y dito na ititiklop.

Isinigaw ng buong lakas ang iyong ngalan Pinilit maniwala na ikaw ay babalik at nariyan lang Ngunit pasasaan nga ba’t ako rin ay mapapagod Madadaig ng sakit, ng hapdi, ng kirot.

Patawad, irog, sapagkat ako ay hapo na Oo, tanggap ko na ikaw ay wala na. Tanggap ko na ikaw ay kasama na Niya, Tanggap ko na ikaw ay napakalayo na.

Ngunit mahal, ang pagod ko ang siyang magtutulak sa akin tungo sa iyo, Sapagkat ang pagod ko ay siya ring pangungulila sa iyo. Pagod na ako sa lamig, lungkot, luha na dahil sa pagkawala mo Kaya ngayon ay tatawirin ko na ang pagitan ng ating mga mundo.

Ito na ang huling akda ko para sa iyo, sinta Maghintay ka lamang, ako ay parating na.

I love seeing people excel in their chosen field, doing what they really love, traveling wherever and whenever they want to, achieving their goals and dreams in life and becoming successful and fulfilled. But as that happiness shows on my eyes and lips and fills my heart, there’s this tiny voice in my head saying, “How I wish I could be like them too.” Before, I had this kind of anxiety where I do not want to see people becoming “ahead of me” because I always tend to pity myself. I tend to become sad and curse my life and think about how I become like this over and over again. But now, I slowly learned to accept that these people are not becoming ahead of me. Each one of us has our own time, our own pace, our own set of dreams and goals. No one is ahead of another. We can all achieve our goals and dreams in our own perfect time. We just have to be patient and persevering. Each day should be treated as a success. If there should be any failure, lessons can be learned from it.

“How I wish I could be like them.” I can. I will. In my own time and pace.

Hello guys! I am selling V-NECK T-SHIRTS WITH PATCHES. ♥

FOR T-SHIRT WITH ONE PATCH: P150 FOR T-SHIRT WITH TWO PATCHES: P200 FOR T-SHIRT WITH THREE PATCHES: P250 *additional P10 for each patches with big sizes (birds and flowers)

PATCHES ARE ALSO SOLD INDIVIDUALLY. P35 each for regular-sized patches, P60 each for big patches.

Meet-ups: SM Fairview (additional P20) McDo Novaliches Bayan (additional P20) SM North (additional P30) UP Diliman (no handling fee) Katipunan (additional P20) Gateway Cubao (additional P40)

For more info and more patch designs, you can check my album here.

They say when you listen to music, you will feel alive. Each tone, each lyric will flow through your veins and will make everything more colorful and meaningful. But why? Why do everytime I listen to music, I feel like dying a little more inside. Everytime… Every time.

Every song I listen to reminds me of you. You are so far away, I am fully aware of that. It is a given fact. It really is. Not just you are miles away, our heart is so far from each other. Music tend to be my escape. But every time I listen to a certain song, it just reminds me of your eyes, your lips, your goddamn beautiful smile. Each line becomes my ode for you. Each tone makes me feel your embrace. How am I going to move on if each melody that flows through my heart will always have the pieces of you?

I chose not to. I chose not to move on. I chose to feel every sting of pain, every pang in my chest whenever the lyrics bring me back to you, whenever the melody pulls me back to my memories about you. I chose to live in sorrow for in sorrow, I can be with you. Through music, I can feel you. Through the lyrics, I can hear you. Through the melody, my heart becomes one with you. I know this is so plainly stupid but how can something be stupid if it is only about loving you? How can pain be so cruel if that is the only way of being with you? How can music be so hideously sorrowful if I can feel you with it? If I can feel you through it? I am dying, yes. But I will choose to live in pain, sorrow and grief if it is the only way of being with you. And yes,  music will be the way of leading me to you… to the memories of you… and me.

Luneta x MOA | 03.13.2017

How will you know if he or she is the one for you? Is it with the way that someone looks at you? The way his/her eyes sparkle whenever you are together? Is it with how he/she looks pleasant to your eyes? Is it with how he/she makes your heart skip a beat or how he/she takes your breathe away? Will you know if he/she is the one for you if he/she plans his/her future with you? If he/she always talks about you? If he/she sends butterflies to your tummy? Can you say that he/she’s the one when you want to stop the clock whenever you’re together? When you always want to spend time with each other together and never wanted to leave each other’s side? How will you know?

For me, it’s not with the way someone looks at you or the sparkle his/her eyes create. It is when you feel home whenever he/she looks at you. It is not with how he/she looks pleasant to your eyes but how pleasant he/she makes you feel pleasant whether he’s in his boxers without taking a bath or she’s in her pajamas with her hair disheveled. It is not with how he/she makes your heart skip a beat or how he.she takes your breathe away. It is when he/she makes your heart calm. It is when he/she becomes a constant reminder of breathing and living everyday to the fullest. It is not with the way he/she plans your future together. It is when he/she does something for both of you to achieve those plans and goals. It is not when he/she sends butterflies to your tummy. It is when he/she makes you feel at ease and at peace. It is not when you want to stop the time when you’re together. It is when you always look forward to another day of being together, regardless of being separated temporarily due to various circumstances. It is not when you always want to spend time together and never leave each other’s side. It is when he/she helps and makes you understand that both of you have different priorities in life and your relationship should not be a hindrance to those responsibilities that you both have. You will know that he/she is the one when he/she loves you constantly, unconditionally, accepts everything about you, supports you in everything you do, guides you whenever you commit mistakes in your life, and his/her end goal will always be marrying you and having a brighter future with you.

This, for me, is how you will know if he/she is THE ONE. ♥