don’t pretend the Great Tag Ban isn’t funny. don’t pretend that content being automatically removed from the site for using arbitrary terms like “girl” or “tony the tiger” isn’t hilarious

we said “we’ll stay here until staff removes all of the content and the site becomes completely unusable” & staff said ok the tigerfuckers go first

the statements “this is a deeply concerning demonstration of censorship” and “they banned #girl lmaoooooo” are not mutually exclusive

Listen man I can't plan ahead any further than a week, two weeks tops, and you're telling me I need to know where my life is gonna be in six months just so I can make a dentist appointment what if I'm in nebraska jerry what if im burying myself in a sand dune in nebraska in six months how am i supposed to see a dentist if i'm in nebraska buried in a sand dune

Me in six months double booking myself like a whore

happy first Bella From Twilight Depression Month

happy second Bella From Twilight Depression Month

Unmute !

Captions

Woman in purple, in a high pitched, enthusiastic voice: if you’re not at work today or you’re working from home, you may be wondering, whAt day is it?

Man in suit, emotionless and factual: itsmonday

End captions

my little brother came into my room last night to tell me that he was gonna sew a stack of my mom’s saltine crackers together through the little holes and then left again

i ended up distracting my parents so he could put the crackers back in the little sleeve like hed only taken one from the top. i dont know if anybodys found them yet but i talked to him about it later and it turns out that theyre sewn together TIGHTLY. like. the ENTIRE stack through ALL the holes

it has been three days and my mom has still not discovered the sewed together cracker stack in the box in the cupboard

I’m DESPERATE to see the sewn crackers

i have no idea how he accomplished this

there seems to be some confusion on how old my little brother is. my little brother is 19, one year younger than me, and is majoring in three separate subjects in uni. he just likes to cause problems on purpose

I laughed way too hard at this

in case anyone is looking through the notes trying to find the original artist it’s will mcphail !! feel free to check out his site but also here are some other things he made too !!

OOOHHH CLICK ON THAT LINK THIS GUY IS FUCKING GREAT

HOLY SHIT

this guy GETS IT

Oh my God I forgot about the Marketing one and it hit me just as hard as it did the first time I saw it. Literal laughter tears omg. 

During the 2020 Pandemic

Regular people: I can’t read their expression with that mask.

Animorphs fans: *He’s smiling with his eyes!!!!* 😭😍😭😍😭😍

This is an interesting thing because most people don’t know what a smile actually entails. Most animals that are capable of expressing emotions do it with their eyes, ears, and body language. But we get told a smile is something you do with your mouth, which is wrong.

If somebody smiles at you with only their mouth, they are lying through their teeth. Genuine smiles always involve the eyes.

YESSSS.  Duchenne smiles happen spontaneously due to joy or amusement, and they involve the eye-wrinkly thing like andalites are described as doing.  Non-Duchenne smiles are the kind we do to be polite, to be photographed, to create a smile outside of amusement/joy — it’s not necessarily lying, but usually about trying to smile on command.

There’s also a FASCINATING cultural discrepancy wherein people from more individualistic cultures (U.S., Australia, Germany, South Africa, etc.) look more at the mouth to detect smiles, whereas people from more collectivistic cultures (Japan, Venezuela, Kenya, India, etc.) look more at the eyes.  So the idea of “smile is something you do with your mouth” is way more common in the U.S. than, say, South Korea.

That’s why the U.S. emoticon for a smiley is this…

:)

And the Japanese emoticon for a smiley is this…

^_^

Well that makes COMPLETELY PERFECT SENSE now that you point it out!

Hell world

capitalism ruined art and entertainment

Keep reblogging this it’s shaming them into prolonging shows

this bums me out

So I asked nonbinary reddit this a while back:

And they really went all out, here are some of my favorite responses:

And of course, the most confusing of all to cis people:

Link to the original if you wanna see more responses! 

college is catered towards the able bodied and able minded. school applauds people who can stay up all night, skip meals, and work endlessly. that kind of extreme contribution is expected. why are disabled people being squeezed out of academic institutions? why should I feel inferior because of some arbitrary and ridiculous standard?

The undying truth.

Not to mention, every college campus Ive ever been on is MADE of stairs and hills.

I tried to talk to one of my college professors about my ADHD once and he literally stopped me and said if I couldn’t handle it I shouldn’t be there

Read the book Academic Ableism on this subject. It’s an excellent read and I genuinely think about it all the time still even though I read it a couple years ago.

Here’s the Open Access version.

A king has no sons, no daughters, and no queen. For this reason he must decide who will take the throne after he dies. To do this he decides that he will give all of the children of the kingdom a single seed. Whichever child has the largest, most beautiful plant will earn the throne; this being a metaphor for the kingdom. At the end of the contest all of the children came to the palace with their enormous and beautiful plants in hand. After he looks at all of the children’s pots, he finally decides that the little girl with an empty pot will be the next Queen. Why did he choose this little girl over all of the other children with their beautiful plants.

The seeds were all dead (burned, fake, etc.).  The other kids cheated and got different seeds and planted them.  The little girl didn’t cheat and was not able to grow anything because the seed was dead.  She was the only one who didn’t cheat.

damn

Nothing like original fairy tales! 

i get the moral it’s trying to convey but that king is an idiot and the kingdom’s doomed. you don’t appoint an honest kid who will forthrightly admit a failure like that to leadership of a country, you put that kid in charge of like… the army, or something. the department of agriculture. 

i’d send out dead seeds, then appoint the kid with the biggest and most beautiful plant anyway. ideally the same kind of plant as the dead seeds were from. and ideally a kid with a really good pokerface. that kid knows:

a) how to perceive failure early (a well developed second plant means they knew how soon the first seeds should sprout and didn’t fuck around when they didn’t) 

b) how to fix the situation (a second plant of the same species means they got someone to help them identify the seeds and plant more, or are observant enough to do it themselves)

c) how to get the best people for a job in to do it (kids aren’t great gardeners. a beautiful science project probably means mom did all the work— just what you want from a child ruler and their regent)

all around, that kid (or their mom) is the kind of devious results-oriented bald-faced liar you want to go toe-to-toe with the lords of your country and the rulers of your neighbors. not a little kid who admits defeat so early and in a situation with such high stakes. ‘whoops i didn’t grow a plant’ sounds a lot less sweet when you phrase it like ‘i give up on ruling my country’. 

you know, i think i’d also send agents out to encourage the kids to destroy each other’s plants. let’s see who’s good at seige warfare, too.

Did Lord Vetinari write that post?

Do you want a Moral ruler and gamble on getting a competent one, or a Competent one and gamble on their morality?

A Moral ruler can supplement their competency by getting competent subordinates and deferring to their expertise on matters pertaining to their field.

An Immoral ruler won’t care about supplementing their morality, or exercising their authority for any other purpose than their own selfish desires.

what’s tonight’s mood

i know the exact emotion this person is trying to portray

personally I would love to introduce some medieval peasants to synth music. not for sinister reasons. just because I think they'd like it actually

synth music draws on the rich history of string music i think they would play along on a fiddle