every-kiss-begins-with-potassium

when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool

(via meanboysclub)

The last one

Also good on these people for taking the aggressively petty route instead of falsely registering their pets as service animals

And one of the reasons I love my state and assure people that not all New Yorkers are assholes.

anyone here a fool?? anyone here stupid??

*dabs concealer on my personality*

the honeypot emoji is so underrated give her her moment 🍯

nothing wakes me up in the morning like eating eight hundred dollars of cheese out of a sack

When your mom says no to McDonalds

I truly go into housewife mode when im someones girlfriend like I will make u pancakes and bacon every morning and suck u up whenever u want

this a lie

im literally dating this girl this a lie

she dont even know how to cook a pancake what is this

Medical offices have a lot of nerve asking you to show up 15 minutes early but then not getting to you until 45 minutes after your scheduled time.

I want this love

me walking into class late, 2 over due essays, didn’t do the extra reading, no pen, no notes, and didn’t bring the textbook