They should invent a new kind of body that doesn't do that
Black coffee enjoyers fighting the longest war known to man
he’s probably said this at one point in the game
haha that's a nice starry-eyed ambition you've got there buddy. sure hope the narrative doesn't warp it into something ruthless and all-consuming
No IDs, but these tags got me in a huff:
So ok look. The point is not the flared leg by itself. These cannot be yoga pants. These are, and you have to understand this if you are too young to have worn them, BLUE JEANS. And this was the last years before all jeans were 70% spandex.
They were denim, and they weren't bell bottoms. They hung loose from the knee in a way that would make a wizard envious. We all walked around like we were wearing hakama. And they dragged on the ground. That was important. Ragged cuffs. If your jeans weren't so long that they had ratty cuffs, they were embarrassingly short.
And the thing about denim is that it's a twill weave and it's cotton. So not only does it hold a lot of water, it wicks. Walking around in these suckers on a wet day could get you wet to the knees even if you never stepped in a puddle.
Then you'd go inside and take off your shoes and try to avoid letting your freezing, wet, filthy pant legs touch your skin.
Yoga pants. Hmf.
Better watch out! I'm big brave elephant.
🐘
Not my white ass locked in the duke’s dungeon again because I fucked his favorite jester 😩
I didn’t know he was so territorial over the silly little guy 🙄
Pro Tip: Avoid this in the future by inviting the king to your chambers and presenting the situation as;
" Just warming him up for a surprise threesome. You looked so stressed, sire, so let us help you relax."
- The Duke would, at best, be the fourth
- The Duke’s wife is the third from time to time, and I feel like he’s not gonna be happy about that
- And most importantly, the Duke is a fuck boi, he’s not invited
Ah, but I said the king, my good wizard!
If you get the king in on this, the duke can do nothing without risking insulting his monarch.
This could not possibly backfire!
In fact, I'll go perform this right now and report back my success shortly.
Dungeon
Welcome to the club
surely the duke can’t catch all of us????
Gonna try hitting up the jester when the duke goes out for another raid and report with results 👍
Dungeon.
Wow. I don't respect anyone in this thread.
feels like somebody’s mad they didn’t get the chance to fuck the duke’s favorite jester
Make a pass at the jester and there’s always a chance
That you’ll be be doing that old “chained in the dungeon” dance
I was inspired
when it takes you a while to process what someone is saying and you realize they asked you a question
I cannot fucking believe I am drunk, past midnight, and tumblr is throwing fucking saturated fatty-acids at me
Listen here friendo I didn’t sit through a year of organic chemistry for you to come into my house and call a carboxylic acid a saturated fatty acid you respect that hexadecanoic acid
And I didnt get a degree in biochemistry to hear you say that carboxylic acids with aliphatic chains arent fatty acids. That hexadecanoic acid IS a saturated fatty acid!
so what if I sucked his dick. his knuckles were split and bloody from defending my safety and my honour what else was I supposed to do
i dont want any more emails
Sorry I find men hot. As if it's my fault. Sorry I find women hot. As if it's my fault. Sorry I find people who are neither or both or something else entirely hot. As if it's my fault.
Alex & Henry + hands
being attacked by some manner of feral creature