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happy happy joy joy joyyyy! 🥰

@itsmerandi / itsmerandi.tumblr.com

send me nut vids.
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I'm positive I've said this before but it bears repeating

People that say body hair isn't a hygiene problem clearly haven't met me! 😤

I'm currently like...2 months post wax? And funky as hell!!!

And it's not like I'm showering less often, or less thoroughly.

And I've checked and it's never a Vagina™ issue, like nothing coming out of me smells. It's just the vulva! The skin where the hair grows! Like having hairy pits and not wearing deodorant I guess. (Though I do use Lume when I'm gonna be out and about and around people.)

I remember I started a funk tracker in my bullet journal this year and I had nothing but "normal" every day until I hit late March and April (no longer fucking, so no longer getting waxes) and suddenly, my lil pixel chart is filled with other colors indicating various levels of funk lmao

Same is true for my armpits! Like it seems like my body hair in particular just holds onto funk more than other ppl's.

I know I heard/read somewhere that having body hair increases the surface area where bacteria can grow and get stinky, so that makes sense.

#smelly bitch chronicles
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roll1uptwice

This new scale. So 84% on a test is now an A and not a B? 44% is a C? I wlda been valedictorian.

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jookyunltd

Anything below a 70% was an F for us... I had to go to summer school getting a 68% final grade once and the teacher refused to let me make up anything for extra credit I was heated.

This is weird AF.

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winkswordswonder

Actually, mathematically this makes sense. If a passing grade is a C, originally a 70, a student had 0-69 opportunities to fail and only 70-100 to be successful. We automatically set our students up for failure. Our numeric grading system does not make sense as it stood originally. For people with a core education background, this isn’t far fetched. But sure, let’s get this random parents’ opinion with no expertise whatsoever. Just because it was awful during our time, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t improve it for others.

#^ ooh interesting#my brain would've never come to that conclusion on its own
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I wish I could pay someone to clean up my inbox.

Like go through my promotions tab, make a list of all the mailing lists I'm currently subscribed to and how frequently they send emails.

And then let me go through that list and see what can go and what should stay.

And then after that, they delete alllllll the old shit EXCEPT for things that might have still active promo codes in them. Or old order confirmation emails that might come in handy, stuff like that.

I know I Can™ pay someone to do that, like on task rabbit or fiverr or something, but I don't wanna give a complete rando access to my email!

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Part of me wishes I looked more ~submissive~

But I've been told my whole fucking life that I'm intimidating and ppl are literally scared of me unless they see me being a goofball out with my friends

So that just means no one flirts with me in ways that make me 😳🥵😩

Because they're expecting me to take the lead bc I give off Boss Bitch Energy

But I'm literally just a big dumb shy baby lmao

Honestly, idk now that I'm medicated, on dates I feel like I give golden retriever energy more than anything lmao

Anyway, this whole post is inspired by Ziggy's recent posts of dominating men in SUCH casual ways in public settings

Like PLEASE someone do this to me 😭 lmaooo

But then part of me wants to start doing this to people. Like I know I could. And it's basically expected of me based on how I carry myself

But I don't have the confidenceeeeee

And it's gonna be misleading as hell bc even if I do get the guts to flirt like this, I'm still a sub ass bitch so I don't wanna attract the folks that would let me do this to them lmao

But alsoooo idk cuz like. I do get off to submission in certain contexts. In like a I Hate Men™ kinda way lmao. Like yes, you should serve me, why not?

Like first time I went skating with my 🤢ex🤢 and seeing him on his knees unlacing my skates was so incredibly 🥵

#this post is way ramblier than it was ever intended to be but what's new#butttttt now I'm horny so 🫠#old coworker was SO GOOD at making me feel 😳 tho#which was interesting bc we also had submissive interactions at work#cuz he was at my beck and call as the it dude#like i put in a request he's at my desk in a heartbeat#but then wholetime he's at my desk I'm 🥲💦#and in other passings at work im much more 😳#like BROOOOOO i still remember the day i was cleaning the coffee machine#and he and other it dude were just standing nearby watching#so im like oh if y'all need the machine i can come back later bc imma be here a while#and they're like oh no it's cool we're just watching#WATCHING#like don't tell my exhibitionist ass that!!! 😭😭😭#like sure they could've been interested in the inner workings of the machine#lotta ppl were#but not those two!!!#(confirmed later on when i...fucked old coworker lol and then when other dude let me know i was a Hot Topic of Conversation in the IT room)#anywayyyyy by the time i was done working with the coffee machine with an Audience™...i was so fucking soaked#like i literally had to take my underwear off so they didn't make a wet spot on my clothes 🥲
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hummingbird-hooligan
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mostly-funnytwittertweets
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ineffable-ink

[ID: Tweet by madoka magicock @rifflexielian: "Terfs need to shut up about womanhood, my mom was raised to believe all women were less valuable than men and cried when she learned about trans women because the idea that someone would fight that hard to be a woman was radical for her and meant it was something worth being"/end ID]

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I'm in a supermega Discord group and one of the channel is for folks looking to sell

And something that always BAFFLES me is that ppl sell books?!

Not even textbooks but like, novels and shit

And idk why that's so egregious to me, but I could not ever see myself selling a book!

Like idc how much I paid for it, once I'm done with it, it's of no use to me! I don't need anything in return for it, just take it off my hands!

Ppl do the same thing with plants! Like if you don't want the plant and the alternative is throwing it away, just give it away!!!

And I know that logic can be used for literally anything else so idk why I'm so animated over ppl selling books and plants

But it just really grinds my gears!!!

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caterwaulonfire
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thebreakfastgenie

Voting for Democrats is the "leaving the house, getting some exercise, and drinking more water is good for your mental health" of societal change. Everyone keeps telling you to do it, worst of all your mom keeps telling you to do it, and it's not a magical cure-all, but it actually works and rotting in your room shitposting does not help in either scenario.

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oppositionresearch

Also like mental health, voting doesn't solve the whole problem! But if you aren't doing this bare minimum thing, the other tools you have aren't going to work as well as they should either. If you get medicine and continue rotting in your room shitposting, you will probably still be miserable. If you get a union at work but don't vote for politicians who support unions, the union won't be able to advocate for its members as effectively and work will still be miserable.

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mikkeneko

Voting is maintenance. It's like doing the dishes or cleaning the leaves out of the gutters. You're never going to get to a point where you are Done and Never Have To Do It Again (alas,) because time will continue to pass and you will continue to eat meals and the trees will continue to drop leaves into your gutters and right wingers will continue to submit bad bills to every session of congress.

You'll never be done with maintenance. But if you don't do that maintenance, your situation can and definitely will get Worse

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foxofninetales
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constant-state-of-self-discovery

Finally a take on the 'vote or else' shit I can vibe with. It's currently like showering with dysphoria- miserable and annoying with no real positive outcome past the current state not rapidly getting worse, but that's better than the alternative of things rapidly getting worse

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I've been visited by ladybugs three times in less than a week! 🥰🐞

The first was on Saturday while I was working in the garden. Landed on my arm and stayed with me for quite some time! Every time I thought it was gone, it had just traveled to another body part :)

Then another landed on me again in the garden on Sunday, but it startled me so I blew it away before I realized it was just a lady bug fren 🥺😔

But then this morning! There's one chilling in my blinds! 😃

Like hello friend! Do you have a message for me?! 😁

^ me :)

#in the life of randi
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I'm watching True Detective Season 2 and for the first time, I feel like a script is poorly written?

Now granted, I've seen tons of shit TV/movies where the script is just...bad. Like corny, unimaginative, predictable, elementary. And usually the entire production value of whatever it is falls in line with it just being...shit.

But True Detective clearly has money behind it. And I've never been so fucking confused and lost in a show before.

So many times I'm just like what the FUCK are y'all talking about??? I find myself having to rewind parts, or rewatch entire episodes bc I'm just like...not grasping wtf is going on???

Besides having too many fucking people and storylines running (I know they'll all converge but still), it's just like why is this so difficult to follow? It's a fucken cop show???

And like, I'm not an idiot lmao. I feel like it's gotta just be bad writing.

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