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i like to think that i'm a writer

@arzineawrites

but i can't seem to finish a book to save my life so instead of writing, i am here :D
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sexhaver

my favorite r/researchchemicals post was one where OP was like "oh my god guys do NOT do etizolam, i just regained consciousness after a full WEEK and have been told i was going to my job the entire time like everything was normal" and then someone asked what his job was and he said he operates an industrial crane at a shipping dock

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brainstatic

Psst, hey, Marilyn Monroe’s image as a freewheeling sexpot was a carefully constructed lie. The real Marilyn Monroe was a roiling tragedy and her life was an indictment of our society as a whole. She was orphaned after her mother had a schizophrenic breakdown, bounced around between foster homes where she was sexually abused, and married a 21-year-old at 16 to get out of being sent to an orphanage. Hugh Hefner published nude photos of her without her consent that were taken when she was 23 and desperate. She suffered severe anxiety and depression, which she coped with by drinking and using barbiturates, and was already a full-blown addict when she became famous in the mid-50s. Her career was one of exploitation, condescension and alienation, and she killed herself at 36. That Hugh Hefner, a man who was at best an unpleasant footnote in her life, felt entitled to be buried next to her is one more humiliation in a pop cultural landscape we should all be ashamed of.

“Please don’t make me a joke… I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one… I want to be an artist, an actress with integrity..”

 - Marilyn Monroe, last taped interview, days before her death

She deserved better than this

Can I just also say, in addition to all this, that I’m still pissed off about the fact that Joe DiMaggio swooped in and gave Marilyn a Christian funeral before her Rabbi could return from a trip overseas? ‘Cause that shit is fucked up.

So many men who claimed to be in love with her, and not one could fucking respect her wishes, even in death.

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emily84
“I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t.””  — Marilyn Monroe

Also:

As one of the biggest Ella Fitzgerald fans, she literally helped desegregate her performances. Ella was not allowed to play at Mocambo because of her race.

Ella Fitzgerald: “I owe Marilyn Monroe a real debt… she personally called the owner of the Mocambo, and told him she wanted me booked immediately, and if he would do it, she would take a front table every night. She told him – and it was true, due to Marilyn’s superstar status – that the press would go wild. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. The press went overboard. After that, I never had to play a small jazz club again. She was an unusual woman – a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it.” thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg (Source: dmvnessa)

ALSO:

In August 1956, Monroe began filming The Prince and the Showgirl, with Laurence Olivier staring and directing. The production was complicated by conflicts between him and Monroe. He angered her with the patronizing statement “All you have to do is be sexy” and his attempts to get her to replicate Vivien Leigh’s interpretation. She became pregnant and miscarried during the production, which heavily worsened her depression and increased her drug abuse.

A L S O , I will never forget watching a documentary about her once and, speaking about her marriage with Arthur Miller, the narrator said, verbatim: “America’s Brain had married America’s Body”. Like, literally, because he was a famous writer, he was entitled to personhood; she, being an actress, and a beautiful woman, was reduced to being “a body”. I have never been more enraged with her portrayal in the media. If you want to be dismissive of her,  literally come for you.

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amuseoffyre

She was also chronically ill her whole life: she suffered from endometriosis with pain so debilitating that a clause was written into her contracts accounting for the days when she would not physically be able to work during her periods.

She was on courses of strong medication, had invasive surgery to try and limit the damage caused, and despite trying for a baby numerous times, suffered many miscarriages because of her condition. The miscarriages especially sent her into deep depression, since she desperately wanted to be a mother.

There is speculation that the condition may have been one of the triggers in her drug dependency as well, because when you have endo, you will take whatever you can to stop. it. hurting.

Marilyn Monroe was smart and strong as hell in a world that saw her as a sexy doll and nothing more.

She deserves better

Marilyn was a founding member of the Hollywood branch of the Committee for a Sane Nuclear Policy and had lifelong left-wing political views with a particular emphasis on racial equality. She formed her own independent production company that survived for several years and earned a credit as an executive producer on several films. Additionally, she was not only concerned for workers rights, she acted for them, using her own fame to stop staff being unfairly sacked from several of her films. She was a loyal, kind woman and her early death remains a great tragedy. Worse still, as OP notes, is the co-opting of her image by exactly the sort of people she would have loathed in life.

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beaft

i hate job hunting more than anything else in the world

me: i'd like a job, please

the person who gives out the jobs (actually an oversized march hare sitting behind a desk, dictating to a crow that taps out the letters with its beak):

“If Employmente ye do seek, Attend this interview next week;

Four tasks you must perform for me, And once that's done, a further three.

Pass the test, and twelve days hence, You may receive your recompense.

But heed my warning: if you fail, We'll send you naught but a stock email.”

if you think about it, much of the advice for job interviews is very similar to the advice for dealing with the Fair Folk:

  • come prepared. remember that the normal code of conduct does not apply here. the power is largely in their hands, so you must play by their rules or suffer the consequences
  • be very careful about how much eye contact you make
  • they will try to trick you
  • choose your words wisely, lest they be turned against you. don't lie - but also don't be completely honest. similarly, trust nothing that is said to you; it might be true in letter, but not in spirit, and is doubtless intended to manipulate
  • never apologise. an apology implies wrongdoing.
  • wearing specific clothing might improve your chances
  • reveal as little information about yourself as possible
  • if you please them, you may receive a Boon (employment)
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pseudomantis

Those mods that replace female characters with male characters in games but keep the female animations really highlight how fucking insane and ridiculous the animations for women in video games usually are

Image

Serious spine injury someone take that thing to the vet!

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weaver-z

It's hilarious to me that Al Capone was an amazing tipper. I get why it took so long to catch him.

Me and the other caddies watching Al Capone beat a guy to death with a golf club after he gave each of us the 2022 equivalent of $1600

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house treats a patient who is an instagram influencer. there are many ways she could have gotten sick, parties, drugs, etc. She also had a disastrous failed makeup launch last year and shes been very depressed since then. they cant figure it out. she takes an instagram selfie in the hospital bed. house thinks this is obnoxious. wilson says its the way of the world now and its pretty brave of her to take pictures of herself in such a weakened state. house, who watches tea spill or something, says “brave of her to post after all that weight gain.” and eats a pill, amused. wilson, who watches tea spill by proxy when house watches it, says “house, a business pursuit gone wrong as hers did can be really stressful. give her a break. people hassle her enough as it is over her weight and the hairs in her lipsticks online as it is.” house is like

wilson does the anime sweatdrop irl and says “i-i only know that from watching over your shoulder i dont watch Here For The Tea by myself or anything” but house is already walking away.

“Youre fat.” House says as he hobbles into her room. “Ummm excuse me?!” she says, taken aback. “I said you’re fat. but now that I’m thinking about it, maybe just really really bloated is more accurate. You have worms.” she is even more offended but intrigued because hes house. “Those white “strings” in your lipstick weren’t from white gloves, theyre tapeworms.” (cgi showing worms in her body) “those tapeworms are rare and only exist in a few places. They lied to you and said it was gloves but it was actually contamination. Those tapeworms have been in your body and eating all the medicine we gave you and is metabolizing it in a deadly way.” she is shocked snd horrified. “we’re starting you on tapeworm drug. it will heal you.” he smirks slightly. “Now might be a good time to drop the name of that lab you worked with.” he says as he walks out. You Cant Always Get What You Want plays.

A close second to the "house butthole worms, air guitar cane" post

Omg WHAT!? I have to look this up now

Lmfaooo thank you @broken-horn-of-equius also if u go to OP's blog they have a whole house tag it's pretty funny

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The point of officially naming a pet is not to actually use that name but to have a baseline from which to come up with every conceivable nickname to call them instead.

You bury a seed not because it looks nice in the dirt, but because the limbs that branch out will look nice in the sky

Congrats on contributing to the ancient tumblr tradition of turning shitposts into profound poetry

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doctorguilty

Not to sound like an old fart here but my philosophy about video games is like. A kid living out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere with no internet access for miles should be able to purchase a game from walmart, take that game home, put it in their console, and play the whole game with all of its features and the only thing lack of internet affects is the inability to play online with others. Nothing else. They shouldn't be missing entire chunks of the game becuase they can't download a patch. The game shouldn't be borderline empty or unplayable without a patch.

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