“Mama. Mama wake up.”

Winona woke to the familiar smell of a hay-stuffed mattress. Which wouldn’t have been unusual...neither would the smell from the fire or the wafting scent of biscuits. But--coffee?

A girl, about fifteen, was gently nudging her. Her wild, tight ringlets and red eyes meant she could only be one. “Mama, you were having a bad dream, again.” It surely was Twila. That fair skin with the simultaneous freckles. 

But--this was not the pig house.

It was a little cottage, but a place she had never been before.

“Twila--how did you get so big? Where are we?”

Twila looked confused. “We’re at home, Mama. You were probably dreaming about the hospital again. You sometimes get disoriented after those. I wanted to let you know Mrs. Catter came by again while I was peeling the potatoes. She said that she’s been having some strange symptoms and wanted to ask you about them. She wrote them in a note and told me to hand it to you. First time mothers, am I right?”

Potatoes? Mrs. Catter?

“...Mama, are you alright? Do I need to call Dr. Abernathy?”

“Abernathy?” Winona asked, “how do you know about Abernathy?”

“...he’s been your psychiatrist for years. Since you left Waverly Hills.”

“Left Waverly Hills?” Winona asked, alarmed. “I never left Waverly Hills. We were on the island, Twila.”

“...I’m calling Dr. Abernathy,” Twila said. “I think you’re having a fit, again. He said that you were prone to this and whenever it happened I had to call him immediately.”

Winona paused.

“How old am I, Twila?” She asked nervously.

“Thirty seven.”

Thirty seven?

“Where is your father?”

“Good question,” Twila said with a scoff. “I never knew him, remember? You were seduced by that witch doctor. That’s what I heard, anyway.” She turned away from her. “I’m calling Abernathy. But Mrs. Catter’s note is on the table. I think she’s probably having cravings and an increased sex drive. Both of those tend to scare new mothers.”

She was stunned.

“I made more coffee, Mama. We have to can these potatoes before winter comes.”

But oddly.

She was content.

The dream continues.

I am all but a head. My arms are nearly completely invisible, as are my legs up to my knees. I’m terribly cold.

The dream continues. I’m in the sanatorium. Wasting away. They’re forcing new treatments on me, new ideas, things that have never been tried before. Experiments. It’s inhumane. And then I wake up. And I am deteriorating before my own eyes and there is nothing I can do about it. I feel helpless. I’m more terrified than I have ever been before.

And every night.

The dream continues.

It’s reached up from my legs toward my stomach. It’s reached down from my shoulders to my chest. I fear that it will devour my head last? And then what will become of me?

What if I completely vanish?

It has covered all of my arms and has spread to my shoulders. The tips of my fingers are now completely invisible, yet I can still move them and feel them, and I still have my sense of touch. It is creeping up my legs fast. It’s nearing my hips.

I’m nearly half-gone.

Is there an answer for this? A cure? A reason why I have been affected?

And the bad dreams - they continue. And I realized.

It’s the same dream I’m having.

Over and over.

It’s begun on my toes. Soon I fear all of my extremities will be translucent.

This is the most bizarre affliction I have ever heard of. Surely this is practically biblical. It has spread even further up my arms.

Once it has spread all over my extremities - what happens when it reaches my vital organs? My stomach? My chest? My head?

Can anyone hear me?

It’s becoming routine. The nightmares. Waking up in the same cold sweats I used to at the sanatorium.

It’s spreading up my arms. The translucency. And the tips of my fingers are even more so.

Someone...please help...I’m so frightened of what this may mean...

Another night with terrible dreams.

I woke this morning to find that my left hand is still afflicted with the same strange condition where it has become translucent.

But it has spread.

My right hand has now become matched in its affliction! I can see through it! What if it continues to spread? What if I vanish entirely?

I had a terrible dream last night. That I had become infected with some kind of illness that the world had never seen before. Almost like a curse, some sort of black magic, like a darkness had fallen over me.

And I woke up...

And my left hand has become...translucent. I can see right through it. When I touch it, it feels no different. But yet I can see right through it.

...for the love of god...

What is becoming of me?

She looks around, confused. She had the sensation her ears were burning...but not quite...

Winona’s Purpose

Hey everyone.

Since I started getting treatment for my eating disorder, you may have noticed that my activity on this blog has been declining. I thought perhaps it was because I just needed some time to focus on myself, but upon deeper meditation, I realized that it was a lot more complex than that.

When I created Winona, I was in the depths of depression, consumed by my eating disorder, and set away to live with my aunt for a summer because my situation at home was so bad. In many ways, I felt like the sick who were sent out to the countryside or a sanatorium, isolated from others because of the general conditions of their existence.

As time goes on, I have felt more and more like I am able to understand express my feelings of isolation, loneliness, unloveability, and confusion in a much more overt and healthy way, rather than shoving them down so I wouldn’t have to look at them. Instead, I channeled them into a young woman from Tennessee, who was sick, much like me, but in a much different way. She struggled to make friends and find love (although she is much thirstier than I), and realize that she deserved to have good things in life. Truthfully, I felt I packed my subconscious into Winona, and didn’t look any deeper.

Now that I’m in therapy and able to navigate my emotions, I honestly haven’t felt the need to come back to this blog. Why would I? When I can face my demons and deal with them effectively, why would I use Winona was a coping mechanism? The answer is: I don’t have to. So I have mostly departed from this blog. I’ve been here for four years, and this community honestly means a lot to me.

I don’t now where I will go from here on out, but Feel free to add me on Discord (Nona#8449) or on Steam (Not Quite Snow White). My avatar for both of those things is currently Kyu from Huniepop.

Thanks so much for everyone who has supported me along this journey. Like I said, I don’t know what will happen for Winona or I as we continue forward, but I’m sure I’ll be in touch <3