Oh nooo I hadn’t noticed that my cat’s automatic feeder was getting low on food so as usual she dashed off when she heard the machine start but I couldn’t hear the usual sound of her food falling into the bowl so I went to look and my poor cat was just. Sitting there. Staring at her empty food bowl. Then for a second she glanced up at me then right back to her bowl with the biggest, saddest, most bewildered eyes you could ever imagine on such a small creature. I filled her bowl and the machine right away ofc but I still feel a little guilty 😭

Quick artist’s rendition

@official-megumin

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

He killed his yonger brother in cold blood because he was jealous of him. There is in no way anything funny about this. No hesitation just poped a rock over his turned head, droped his body over the edged and tried to lie to god about what he did. FUCK YALL CRAZIES!!!

oh are those the receipts, Cain is problematic now?

Cainceled 

This post gets worse every reblog

yet im not Abel to scroll past

This post hit me like a rock to the head

This is the quality content that keeps me on Tumblr

public service announcement

I keep getting people asking about bowling on this post so I’m just gonna repost this drawing I made on Twitter

How did her grandmother fill 4 vases?

She was a very large woman. Easily 12 feet tall.

then why the heck is her family not tall too?!?!

Pop-pop was very small so it canceled out.

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women

If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."

everyone's doomed by the narrative bitch let's get you some fruit

the phrase "ancestral sickos" now etched into my brain permanently

TIL that Gothic literature makes a distinction between “terror” and “horror.” Terror is the sense of dread and apprehension that precedes an experience, horror is the sense of revulsion after an experience.

via ift.tt

Someone described the modern difference as such:  Fear is knowing that a werewolf is hunting you.  Terror is when you see it and it charges at you.  Horror is realizing that your feet are stuck to the floor.

lust is

I’d like to thank the brave sniper that stopped that final comment

"Self insert characters are cringe"

Bro I'm trying to survive capitalism with maladaptive daydreaming. Leave me alone.

Writing a self insert helped me unpack more trauma than twenty years of therapy. Do it.

absolutely criminal how falling into bad habits is the easiest thing in the world while developing positive habits feels like fighting a literal war

sir that's yassified information

This machine kills AI

This is the most satisfying story I've read in a long time

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

cats are so very unclear on what is wrong with us but they want to help

Last time I had a really bad migraine my cat curled herself round my head and purred sympathetically, and actually stayed there through two of her normal mealtimes. It wasn't until I was able to stagger to the kitchen and grab a protein bar for myself that she gave a very small, polite miaow to the effect of "while you're up... could you get something for me too?"

Elon Musk bought the company. He has nothing to do with the development. #CosplayEngineer

No. I will not have you do this.

Dr. Nikola Tesla did not sign bad contracts. He signed an excellent contract with Westinghouse to bring AC power to America. Westinghouse was the big competitor against Edison Electric, which ran DC power. Thomas Edison was a massive prick and Edison Electric went around doing its best to convince everyone that AC power was dangerous, most infamously by electrocuting an elephant to death and developing the first execution-style electric chair using AC power. All of this cemented in the mind of the public that AC power was dangerous and deadly, while DC power was somehow safer.

By 1890, Westinghouse was in trouble. George Westinghouse went to Tesla and laid out the truth: if he honored the royalty contracts that he’d agreed to pay Tesla, he would go bankrupt. So Tesla tore up the contracts. He walked away from millions, maybe billions of dollars because he believed that wireless electricity should be free to the world. Westinghouse went on to bring AC power to homes across America.

Tesla wasn’t a bad businessman. He was an idealist who hated capitalism.

i’m a “i had a dream about you” ass bitch til the day i die