@thedarkestofponds / thedarkestofponds.tumblr.com
do you like sass? what about cockney accents? do you love the ever-present threat of getting an arrow to the arse? how ‘bout burning bougie bastards to the ground?
then this might just be the autistic lesbian for you! hit that heart if you wanna interact with SERA from bioware’s dragon age: inquisition!
reblog this if your icon could kill a man
i’m bad at it but consider this a plotting call !
BUZZFEED UNSOLVED SENTENCE MEME.
- ‘ hey there, demons, it’s me, ya boy. ‘ - ‘ hey, ghouls! the boys are here! ‘ - ‘ this is like satan’s cement butt hole. ‘ - ‘ here we go! rock and roll, buckaroo! ‘ - ‘ can i use the jacuzzi hot tub we’ve been blessed with? ‘ - ‘ maybe this ghost just loves to blaze it. ‘ - ‘ my fart scared you! ‘ - ‘ fuck that demon, he’s whitewashing the history of this house. ‘ - ‘ whatever, demon’s racist. i don’t respect that demon. ‘ - ‘ oh… i wasn’t fat-shaming bigfoot. ‘ - ‘ what do you mean it’s not a ghost? ‘ - ‘ it’s not a ghost. ‘ - ‘ shadows do tend to follow you, though. that’s sorta how they work. ‘ - ‘ it’s not even a good poem, it’s just weird. ‘ - ‘ you’re telling me those architects used math? ‘ - ‘ knock me down with a feather! ‘ - ‘ i think you need to learn how to shut the hell up. ‘ - ‘ i think you need to learn how to shut the fuck up. ‘ - ‘ i stepped it up with a meaner curse word. ‘ - ‘ oh shit, what up, i’m taking a selfie with some demons! ‘ - ‘ hey ghosts, tussle my hair! ‘ - ‘ every time we get sad, let’s show a picture of the dog. ‘ - ‘ that’s a good dog. ‘ - ‘ i’m not the biggest believer in bigfoot. ‘ - ‘ that’s a guy i would wanna share a cold one with. ‘ - ‘ you’re a coward! ‘ - ‘ look at his beady, little eyes. ‘ - ‘ we’ve really done it now, haven’t we? ‘ - ‘ how dare they dispose of my body! they should leave it in the hallway to rot! ‘ - ‘ am i a ghost hunter? ‘ - ‘ i took an improv comedy class once. ‘cause i’m a white guy. ‘ - ‘ i always gotta… gotta think about stuff, you know? ‘ - ‘ now you’re acting like a detective and not a jackass. ‘ - ‘ alright, just to be fair, fuck christopher columbus. ‘ - ‘ i think the moon having a boner is about as realistic as ghosts. ‘ - ‘ i never said i wanted to murder you! this is a hypothetical situation! ‘ - ‘ you want to kill me! ‘ - ‘ well, if it’s any consolation, you look like an idiot. ‘ - ‘ if i step on a… a fly? does a fly’s ghost… stay around? ‘ - ‘ if you slit my throat tonight i’m gonna have a hard time forgiving you for that. ‘ - ‘ i’m gonna serve you up a fresh truth pancake right now. ‘ - ‘ that’s my… my darn sandwich. ‘
she stares at the person in front of her, looking them up and down as she tries to think. that’s the problem with living for a long time - you forget things, faces, people. “which one are you again? or have i not met you yet? time travel can be so confusing.”
“hello, sweetie.” her words drips with something honey-sweet and sickening, almost as sarcastic as the smile she offers him. “what have you been doing lately? saving puppies? rescuing innocent children from horrific monsters?” it’s clear from her tone that, although almost anyone else would find the aforementioned deeds honorable, she just finds them distasteful and boring.
“well well well,” a smirk makes its way across river’s face, her dark red lips twitching with silent, invisible laughter. “look what the cat dragged in.” she arches an eyebrow at the other woman, something dark in her eyes. “and just where have you been?”
okay so my icons aren’t working (my jump drive that they’re on is uh not being detected by my computer) so LIKE THIS if you’re okay with an iconless starter!
excerpt from queen of bones, a persephone reimagining | published in unmythologize by a.c. (via inkmagician)
More Iwan Rheon for Square Mile
