— it’s been a month.

does anyone else feel themselves slipping back into the worst versions of themselves because of this pandemic and lockdown and just everything

i really miss when people would just talk to each other if they had a problem instead of just cutting people off and calling them toxic. like people really be out here cancelling they best friends just cus they had a disagreement lmao pls don’t listen everything u read on social media guys

Dear Parents:

* Please stop complaining how hard it is to feed, house, and give clothes to your kid.      Wow, we didn’t know doing the bare minimum to keep us alive after you decided to go through with the pregnancy was so difficult.

* Stop using the “I’m your parent so you have to do x” unless it’s to protect them from doing something stupid or a regular chore. You can make sure the kid can’t go to a party, but don’t be exploitative.

* DO NOT COMPARE AND CONTRAST YOUR KIDS. Everyone is their own person. Please stop.

* Stop favoritism.

* Do not insult or openly tell them or others about their “flaws”. They will remember it. Whether it being seriously or jokingly doesn’t matter. 

* Let them be who they want as long as they don’t hurt anybody including themselves.

* Having good grades is important but so is having a social life and mental health.

* When your child says that they are uncomfortable with something said or done don’t egg them on about it.

* Stop with the “When I was your age”, We’re pretty sure you didn’t do things your parents had, and we’re sure they didn’t to some things theirs did. Your kid isn’t you.

*  There’s probably a reason your kid doesn’t come from out their room.

* children are smarter than you think, when they ask about something give them an honest answer.

* Don’t punish your kids for telling the truth, they will learn to lie to get out of trouble. 

* Hitting or threatening to hit your kid is not a way to punish them or scare them into doing something.

* Do not expect your child to respect you. Respect is earned, not entitled.

* Don’t gossip about your kids life.

* (This one is personal but I feel like a lot of others go through it too) Do not use the “I didn’t raise you to be like that” line if you didn’t raise your kid.

* Gifts don’t make things better.

* Don’t assign chores based on the sex of the child. 

* excessive pranking leaves kids with trust issues and anxiety ( ”I’ll wait until it’s morning to use the restroom because I don’t want anyone popping up at me” )

*  stop using manipulative behavior to get sympathy from your kid.

DONT FUCKING HAVE CHILDREN IF YOU CANT TOLERATE THEM ‘ANNOYING’ YOU OR MAKING YOU ANGRY DONT TREAT THEM LIKE FUCKING VENTING BAGS AND EXPECT THEM TO LOVE YOUR FUCKING MANIPULATIVE ASS THEYRE HUMANS. JUST LIKE YOUR COLLEAGUES FRIENDS OR RELATIVES START TREATING THEM LIKE YOU WOULD TO THOSE SAID PERSONS

— And then they call you “too sensitive”.

for my fellow trauma survivors, 

you aren’t faking

I believe you

i still get so angry that i have to live with what you did to me and you live like nothing ever happened

i just to put all these feelings inside you

I think one of my least favorite parts of depression is the anger, the pure hot tempered agitation. One small thing goes awry and suddenly I just hate. I hate myself, I hate everyone around me, I hate the world, I hate that blanket that won’t fold right, I hate him fuck him, I hate my neighbors for having fun lives while I’m alone. I just hate. and I hate that I hate.

Some Things I Didn’t Realize Were Complex Trauma Symptoms

I don’t usually post personal shit but my friend and I were talking and there were some things she didn’t know were PTSD related, and sometimes it’s just so weird and out there so. Some stuff I learned too late were caused by trauma:

- Nightmares that have *nothing* to do with your trauma

- Getting angry at anything that startles you/is loud/is irriatating

- Becoming alarmingly calm in situations of crisis/chaos

- Shaking, just, all the time

- Needing very little sleep to function effectively

- Massive mood swings that often get mistaken for personality or mood disorders

- Feeling like there is a layer of dirt on you/that your skin is dirty and needing to get it off

- Believing you will die young and alone !! Big one!!

- Looking for reasons to cut people out of your life

- Needing things to be exactly as you like them to be – not necessarily clean/organized but just to be a specific way and be within your control, and getting angry when it is not *this one gets mistaken for OCD v often

- Preferring high stress/very busy lifestyles to keep occupied

- Needing compression/pressure (ie tight shoelaces, heavy coats and blankets, snug fitting hats, etc) to feel comfortable/safe

- Discomfort with silence

- Very sensitive to heat, smell, and lighting

- Ringing in ears!! I had no idea about this one tinnitus is not that uncommon for ptsd, even if there was no direct head trauma involved

- Physical numbness, often in arms & hands when a flashback or panic attack is about to start

- Derailing conversations when they are causing stress

- Sudden and unexplained onsets of just the most deep sense of melancholy (often accompanied by a lot of tears)

These are just the ones I know of from experience, if there are any others ppl know of and were surprised by pls add. But yea ptsd is not always flashbacks and panic attacks and avoiding triggers, it’s also just random small shit that effects how you exist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Stop blaming yourself for other people’s shitty doings to you.

They fucked up, not you.

What They Don’t Tell You

•Even after you cut someone toxic/abusive out of your life, they drain you

•They get to walk away and pretend like it didn’t happen, while you’re left to pick up the pieces

•Sometimes they’ll play victim, try to garner all the sympathy and attention even though you know they have no right

•Sometimes they’ll take a fake high road, accuse you of lying and say they did nothing wrong, that you hurt them, and pretend that they’re better

•Some won’t take no for an answer

•They’ll do anything to put the blame on you. To make you seem like the villain or the monster

•Most will hurt someone again. And the hardest part is accepting that it won’t be your fault

•You’ll feel a void in your life where they were. You might miss them. That’s normal.

•You have to relearn so many things. What actual healthy love/friendships/relationships are

•You need to learn to trust again, to see the world as more then its darkness

•You’ll think you’re faking it sometimes. Even if others believe you, the what if will always creep up

•You need support. No one can do this alone

•Healing isn’t linear. It has its ups and its downs. Some vary day to day

•Just because you have a bad day doesn’t mean you’re regressing

•Everyone heals differently, but there will always be a scar

•Somethings may never be the same for you, somethings will trigger you. And that’s ok

•Nothing you did caused this. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t do anything. THEY chose to hurt YOU.

•Some abusers might have loved you, and it’s hard to accept that. Remember that this is toxic, unhealthy love

•You don’t have to forgive them. But you also don’t have to never forgive. Whatever helps you heal is what you need to do

•You may lose more people then just the one. Whether it’s people who support them, won’t support you, people you now see differently, etc. That’s ok

•You get to choose whose in your life