Alexandra Kehayoglou:

Crafts Lush Grassy Carpets Inspired by the Pasturelands of Argentina

HER app

So the app “HER” caught my eye today as I moved through my dashboard.. The concept struck me as fairly problematic so I wanted to look a little further into it. The title piece of the app (now available for iPhone) is “HER- Lesbian, Queer and Bisexual Social Network” and as a transmasculine genderqueer person I thought I’d see what was up. First thing, the app does not have an independent sign on, it requires one to login through either Facebook or Instagram (my first issue). Full disclosure, logging in for me personally through either social networking site denied me access to the app based on how it perceived my identity. I take issue with this in regard to folks who don’t fit the binary that HER seems to want reinforced. Say for folks who may be female bodied but not identify as women and especially trans women who aren’t comfortable being out on mainstream social media or literally don’t feel (aren’t) safe enough to be out in those venues. In the description of the app I found that despite the advertisement of the title the app is made for “lesbian women by lesbian women” so why they call for bisexual and queer people as well I do not know because we seem to be denied unless we fit the binary. Next in their description they say “no men, no fakes” I take issue with this triggering language I would hope that it men’s no fake accounts, but “no fakes” well this language, especially in the context of the app, comes off as transphobic. Also I think it’s incredibly uncool of this app to define who men are based on nothing but social media while directly ignoring the individuals right to identity however they please. Further, I went looking for promotions of the app and found that in one representatives post that the app is welcome to any DFAB member of the lgbtq community, so I guess based on that representative the app truly is transphobic. This critique is not meant to ignore that queer women, and I mean all queer women, should be able to enjoy a safe space in which to interact with each other. What I do not agree with is the identity policing that is going into play with this app, thus I feel the need to be extremely critical of it. I haven’t seen this critique yet, so let me know how your experiences with the app have been? I have this awful feeling that trans folks aren’t going to be treated very well inside this app :/ sigh.

Update: I received a lot of feedback on this position and that’s totally ok. I want to make a note that I’m reading through it and absorbing all of it best I can. I feel like some of the feedback I received was in and of itself identity policing, but folks make jabs when their hurt or feeling protective.  To address that piece, my identity shifts, as do a lot of ours, I don’t identify as a man, but right now in this specific moment I do identify as transmasc (but that is subject to shifts constantly).. I’m also read as female and live in binary realms daily stepping into roles associated with masculinity, femininity and the other stuff outside of the binary, so to the folks who keep assuming I'm a man that’s incorrect.  I’m really protective of all members of our community believe it or not.  Sometimes that leads me to be rather suspect of many things, especially things that attempt to make safe space through exclusion, because no matter what we’re working with potentially biased criteria of what it means to receive inclusion. The reason I took issue with social media login is for safety reasons specifically, but taking into account information that others have offered me today there’s no real way using social media or not to ensure safe spaces online. As I reread I’m finding that my biggest personal issue was with defining, though not overtly, who qualifies to be in a woman's space.  I’m especially thankful to the folks that let me know that HER is a in fact a trans positive space, I think that’s great, and makes me a little less wary though still protective.  Threatening women’s only spaces was not my intent though it seems my critique in many ways was taken as so and for that I apologize. I’m sorry to the folks who I upset and I did take the time to read through your posts and understand why this upset you.  As time goes on I’ll be really interested to hear even more thoughts from trans women around their experiences with the app! Finally, I just want to make it clear that the point of my critique was not to advocate that men be included in a women's only space, but mainly to vocalize my concern around folks who feel they identify within a space having to meet someone else's criteria to be included in that space.  I understand that as queer folks we always have to be mindful of our safety and if we feel like something that was created for us (when not a lot is) is being threatened we’ve got to protect it, so I understand where the hate came from, and I apologize if I made you feel as though I threatened your safe space. I am really really open to any information folks want to share around this, I want to keep learning always, please be conscious that there’s a person behind the keys and share information calmly and positively. It’s hard to listen and learn from someone whose yelling at you, but even if you yell, I’ll try my best to hear you.   

(via natashakills)

There are stories about what happened. It’s true. All of it. The Dark Side, the Jedi. They’re r e a l.

Today, I found a kitten sized chair and, luckily, I had a kitten to put in it. 

northernwatersglass x  spillerwoods

Heart Vs. Brain: Funny Webcomic Shows Constant Battle Between Our Intellect And Emotions

HEART AND BRAIN IS OFFICIALLY MY OTP

Sometimes i’m brain, but mostly i’m heart.

My 10 year old self looking out for me